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SPICYWATCH

Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me

1/8/2021

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I recently read a really a beautiful piece of writing called Things My Mother Didn't Tell Me But Should Have by the British poet, author and teacher Warsan Shire. The writing came to me just after I had watched the movie Never Rarely Sometimes Always and it felt like the two forms of art were in some ways almost talking to each other about the challenges of being a young woman in the world today.  I also really loved the piece of writing so much that I just wanted to share it with you all, perhaps it will reach someone at the right moment if I pass it along. 

Never give any kind of pleasure to a boy you wouldn't give to yourself.

Kiss like a promise and wait for the other person to break it. 

Human beings are not ships, you cannot save them from sinking if they don't want to be rescued from the floodwaters. 

Loving someone that doesn't give a damn about you isn't sexy: it's misplaced energy, also known as self-destruction. 

Don't ever treat anyone like a refugee from a civil war; they will come back from battle and leave you as wounded as if you were the one who had been paid for military service.

Forgiveness isn't putting the weapon down; it's learning how to kiss the person pulling the trigger, not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a full one with tongue. 

Let the dead be dead. 
They have no answering machines, no phonelines:
if you call them, only the ground will ring.

Never trust a boy who already packed condoms ready in his coat pocket before he even asks your name.

When the world tries to break your back with its weight, get a stronger spine. 

Your father left us because he was ashamed for not being the one that gave birth to you. 

Even oceans misplace their anchors sometimes. 

Never give a man permission, you shouldn't have to. It should be mutual. 

Stop treating your body like currency - don't pay anyone who doesn't deserve it.  
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NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 101 mins 

Written and directed by Eliza Hittman, this candid and honest portrayal of a teenagers struggle with an unwanted pregnancy is seriously affecting. After its release at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2020, Never Rarely Sometimes Always was selected to compete for a Golden Bear Award. The film won the Silver Bear Grand Jury Prize and has since received unanimous acclaim from critics and viewers alike. 
Autumn Callahan is seventeen and has just discovered that she is pregnant. Without anyone to confide in except for her cousin Skylar, the two girls embark on a trip to New York to try and find a solution to Autumn's problem. 
This film is unsettling from start to end, but it is also an extremely realistic portrayal of the challenges and burdens that many young girls face in todays current climate. 
The casting here is perfect with Sidney Flanigan and Talia Ryder delivering believable degrees of strength and fragility in their challenging roles as vulnerable small town girls in the city. The entire film teeters continually between tender and troubling but it also feels so true and genuine; making it powerfully unforgettable.
FINAL SAY: I want to make sure that you're safe. 
4 Chilli Peppers 
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