Not always the easiest things to do, but listening to your emotions is vital to staying on track and managing yourself in a dignified and intelligent way. Once you become adept at acknowledging emotions and the message that they are sending to you, then you can empower yourself to question the validity of the message and respond accordingly. Sounds rather scientific, but it really isn't and just like any other muscle that you work on to make it stronger, your emotional intelligence is just as pliable and important, so why not start to decipher your feels, identify them and manage them like a boss?
Here is a list of some common negative emotions that you may be feeling and what they could be trying to tell you to address:
Bitterness: you are not healed from an old pain, your hanging onto a judgement of yourself and/or others.
Resentment: you're living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it.
Discomfort: You need to start paying attention to what is occurring to you right now. You could be ignoring an opportunity to change or hanging on to outmoded version of yourself.
Anger: Your passionate about something or you feel like an injustice has occurred. Check your boundaries and reassess your need to force your passions outwards.
Disappointment: You tried for something, you didn't give in to apathy and you still care.
Guilt: Guilt helps you to understand the person that you do not want to be. You have an opportunity to forgive yourself and move on.
Shame: You're internalizing someone else's beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and you need to connect with yourself.
Sadness: You have depth in your feelings, you care for others and the world.
Jealousy: You are not content with what you have, you need to discover what it is that is making you feel incomplete.
You do not have to be slave to your negative emotions, remember that you are always in control and that you must try to resolve your feelings first and foremostly, with acceptance. Become aware of what you are feeling, name it and notice where in your physical body it is affecting you, and then without judgement just mindfully label it, eg. this is anxiety. Don't deny the emotion or reject it, accept it completely and even though that may seem like an overwhelming thing to do, also remind yourself that it is not a permanent feeling and that it will, like all things, eventually come to pass. Work hard to identify your triggers and what is going on that makes these feelings rise up within you from time to time and let go of the need to be in control of your emotions all the time.
You don't have to deny or control your feelings, you only need to manage your responses to them. As I have said in previous blog posts, even Buddhist monks get pissed off from time to time, they just don't act on those feelings, and that is emotional intelligence - just letting the emotions come in and leave without you needing to engage with them at all. And you can do this, and you do deserve to live a life free of stress and anxiety, and you do deserve to feel happy and content, so allow yourself to do the work of the self as often as you can.
I think that Charles Bukowski summed it all best when he said:
"Nobody can save you but yourself -
and you're worth saving.
It's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning -
this is it."
Here is a list of some common negative emotions that you may be feeling and what they could be trying to tell you to address:
Bitterness: you are not healed from an old pain, your hanging onto a judgement of yourself and/or others.
Resentment: you're living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it.
Discomfort: You need to start paying attention to what is occurring to you right now. You could be ignoring an opportunity to change or hanging on to outmoded version of yourself.
Anger: Your passionate about something or you feel like an injustice has occurred. Check your boundaries and reassess your need to force your passions outwards.
Disappointment: You tried for something, you didn't give in to apathy and you still care.
Guilt: Guilt helps you to understand the person that you do not want to be. You have an opportunity to forgive yourself and move on.
Shame: You're internalizing someone else's beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and you need to connect with yourself.
Sadness: You have depth in your feelings, you care for others and the world.
Jealousy: You are not content with what you have, you need to discover what it is that is making you feel incomplete.
You do not have to be slave to your negative emotions, remember that you are always in control and that you must try to resolve your feelings first and foremostly, with acceptance. Become aware of what you are feeling, name it and notice where in your physical body it is affecting you, and then without judgement just mindfully label it, eg. this is anxiety. Don't deny the emotion or reject it, accept it completely and even though that may seem like an overwhelming thing to do, also remind yourself that it is not a permanent feeling and that it will, like all things, eventually come to pass. Work hard to identify your triggers and what is going on that makes these feelings rise up within you from time to time and let go of the need to be in control of your emotions all the time.
You don't have to deny or control your feelings, you only need to manage your responses to them. As I have said in previous blog posts, even Buddhist monks get pissed off from time to time, they just don't act on those feelings, and that is emotional intelligence - just letting the emotions come in and leave without you needing to engage with them at all. And you can do this, and you do deserve to live a life free of stress and anxiety, and you do deserve to feel happy and content, so allow yourself to do the work of the self as often as you can.
I think that Charles Bukowski summed it all best when he said:
"Nobody can save you but yourself -
and you're worth saving.
It's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning -
this is it."
THE GOLDEN COMPASS
Release Date: 2007
Rating: PG
Running Time: 113 mins
Based on the novel Northern Lights, the first in Philip Pullman's highly successful trilogy - His Dark Materials, this is a watered down version of the original in which all of the anti-religious elements have been removed, and I need to be extremely honest here, fans of the books aren't going to love this movie, it really isn't nearly as good as the book.
However that being said, it does have some marvelous depictions of the main characters and I know a number of people that haven't read the book thought that this was really good. It did win a BAFTA and an Academy Award for it's amazing visual effects and any movie that depicts Nicole Kidman walking about with a monkey and preaches the importance of free will, making connections, staying strong through great adversity and fighting for your loved ones can't be all bad now can it?
The story focuses on the experiences of a young girl named Lyra Belacqua that lives in a parallel world where each person's soul takes the form of an animal companion called a Daemon. A dark group called the Gobblers is hard at work stealing these Daemons from kidnapped children, so when Lyra's friend goes missing, she feels compelled to enlist all of the help that she can to find him before it is too late.
An all star cast including Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee and Eva Green add some meat to the bones of the story, and the fantasy landscapes and characters are lush and beautifully realised. If it wasn't for the obvious plot holes this could've been epic so it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity on that front.
FINAL SAY: Escape your reality and indulge in 'His Dark Materials.'
3 Chilli Peppers
Release Date: 2007
Rating: PG
Running Time: 113 mins
Based on the novel Northern Lights, the first in Philip Pullman's highly successful trilogy - His Dark Materials, this is a watered down version of the original in which all of the anti-religious elements have been removed, and I need to be extremely honest here, fans of the books aren't going to love this movie, it really isn't nearly as good as the book.
However that being said, it does have some marvelous depictions of the main characters and I know a number of people that haven't read the book thought that this was really good. It did win a BAFTA and an Academy Award for it's amazing visual effects and any movie that depicts Nicole Kidman walking about with a monkey and preaches the importance of free will, making connections, staying strong through great adversity and fighting for your loved ones can't be all bad now can it?
The story focuses on the experiences of a young girl named Lyra Belacqua that lives in a parallel world where each person's soul takes the form of an animal companion called a Daemon. A dark group called the Gobblers is hard at work stealing these Daemons from kidnapped children, so when Lyra's friend goes missing, she feels compelled to enlist all of the help that she can to find him before it is too late.
An all star cast including Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee and Eva Green add some meat to the bones of the story, and the fantasy landscapes and characters are lush and beautifully realised. If it wasn't for the obvious plot holes this could've been epic so it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity on that front.
FINAL SAY: Escape your reality and indulge in 'His Dark Materials.'
3 Chilli Peppers
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