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SPICYWATCH

Where Are You Heading?

3/3/2016

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There are a lot of decisions that need to be made when your child finishes primary school and heads off to high school. Decisions that I am not really that excited about making to be honest. The secondary school scene in Ballarat is a mixed bag to say the least. On one hand you have the hoity-toity private schools that you need to sell your vital organs on the black market to get your child into, and even then there is no guarantee. Then you have the catholic private sector that consists of an exclusively girls or boys school and one co-ed school which are pretty hard to get into if you haven't attended a catholic primary school and done your sacraments, and then at the other end of the scale there is a cohort of public secondary colleges that have mixed reviews and sketchy reputations. 
We have tried to apply for the co-ed catholic school for Seth, but to be honest I am not loving our chances of getting in there, it does seem very catholic exclusive, so even though we have gone through the enrolment process and agreed to pay the tuition fees (which aren't exactly tiny) I have my concerns about us getting a position there; especially since Seth doesn't know the first thing about Jesus or God and the only wine he's heard of is the type that he's seen me swilling! Which leaves us with a group of Secondary Colleges to investigate, some of which are already on my 'not loving it' list.
Zoe went to a public Secondary College, but she only did so because she got into a Select Entry Program that allowed her to shave an entire year off her high school experience, which she was definitely shouting hallelujah about in Year 12. Seth unfortunately does not have the minerals for a Select Entry Program, and I'm not being an asshole when I say that, I am being a realist - he doesn't - fact! Problem is that I'm not entirely sure that he has the minerals for a main stream Secondary College experience either, and here in lies the problem. 
You do have to try and find a school that is going to nurture your child's ability to grow and learn. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean that I think that your kids need to attend some pretentious private school, it just means that I think that they need to feel safe where they learn and have access to a decent education. It also means that as a parent you need to feel confident that when you send them off to school that they won't be getting stabbed, shot or hooked on ICE whilst they are supposed to be learning either. Not a lot to ask really. 
​Our darling Seth is generally a non-conventional learner, he is smart and very clever, but we have mostly found that the public school sector hasn't really 'embraced' him or his quirky learning style. In short, he's often a square peg in a round hole, and I am really worried about him fitting in any better in the public secondary sector.
But what options do we have? I can't afford to sell my organs, I still need them! Fingers crossed that our first preference comes good in the end, but until then, I need to mull over my options. I hadn't really thought that I would need a plan B until now, and suddenly I do. Bugger it, I thought I had all of this sorted and mapped out, hadn't really considered the 'catholic exclusivity' factor, but after Seth's interview last night, it is truly an issue that I need to consider. Bloody dogma and red tape, my two least favourite things next to gastro and assholes....oh the joy! 
Picture
DOGMA
Release Date: 1999
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 130 mins 
Written and directed by Kevin Smith, this movie's irreverent treatment towards the Catholic religion had the Catholic League reeling, there were outcries of 'blasphemy' and organised protests delayed its release and led to two death threats against Smith. If anything, these scenes of controversy only enhanced the public's desire to view the movie; Dogma tripled it's modest budget and was the third highest grossing film at the box office when it was released. 
Two fallen angels - Bartleby and Loki, are planning to use a loophole in Catholic dogma to return to Heaven after God cast them out. However, since existence is founded on the principle that God is infallible, their success would prove God wrong and in turn, undo all of creation. The last scion (descendant of Christ), a 13th Apostle and two prophets are sent by Metatron (the voice of God) to stop them from succeeding. 
This is seriously funny stuff, the cast is a great mixture of young and upcoming actors of the '90's generation and the script is sharp and clever. Sure, it's full of satire and isn't the most respectful movie about Catholicism that you are going to see, but for a movie that is apparently so against religion, it certainly does end with great reverence. Blasphemy and profanity aside, this is a really funny watch and as long as you aren't a religious fanatic, you will find Dogma amusing. 
FINAL SAY: Anyone who isn't dead or from another plain of existence would do well to cover their ears about now. 
3.5 Chili Peppers

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