I like to think of myself as capable, I also like to believe that I am open to new learning and willing to expand my skill set and horizons regularly through new experiences and upskilling opportunities. However, everyone has their limitations and this week, much to my own agony and dismay, I had to admit to myself and also to my employer that my bucket was full to the point of overflow and that I needed to set a boundary around certain expectations of me in the workplace. 
It is one thing to encourage others to put boundaries into place for themselves, but when you have to put in a boundary for yourself, especially when you pride yourself with being the 'can do' kid, it is a really difficult and honestly, very emotional thing to do. And for someone like me that sets themselves continuously high personal standards, it was one of the most uncomfortable things that I have ever had to do. I have never had to ask anyone to step up for me and put a stopper in something because the expectations were getting too high for me to meet, and it has been a bit soul destroying to have to do that. 
Even though I know that setting a boundary for myself is nothing to feel guilty about, I still oddly do feel a pang of guilt and also a measurable degree of disappointment in myself for not being able to meet certain expectations. As I said earlier, when you are used to coping under pressure and then suddenly find that you can't sustain that any longer, you feel like shit about yourself, and even though it takes strength to say 'this is too big and unrealistic' you just don't want to ever have to say that. 
However I did, I did say it and probably delivered a few other home truths about my role that has needed to be clarified for some time as well. And in all honesty, these things probably should have been clarified a long time ago, well before I got to the point where I was using the 'frog in the boiling pot' analogy to describe what it feels like to be in my position. The saying better late than never is certainly true in this instant however, for my own sanity I do wish that I had clarified these feelings earlier, but as I said, in order to clarify these issues I also had to be willing to admit that I wasn't coping and that was not an option for me until I had reached my maximum overload point. 
So what did I learn from all of this? That I have limits, that I can't do everything all at once and that sometimes I need to be willing to own my shortcomings without seeing it as a defeat. I have also learnt that I need to open a more clear dialogue around problems with senior staff earlier and that setting boundaries for myself in the workplace is a skill that I need to hone before I will be comfortable with it. 
I haven't quite made my peace with owning my limitations just yet, but I know that I will and hopefully things will change for the better now that I have raised a few flags for my employers to consider. And who  knows? Maybe some good will come from my conversation and perhaps it will open some people's eyes to some of the realities around positions like mine where you are a highly effective worker bee reliably contributing as best you can to a much larger business, but no less valuable or significant than some of the queens bees in the hive, especially when you look at it from our perspective.
I just wish that it didn't feel like I had to die a little inside to make these things understood, but I also understand that those feelings are all coming from me and no-one else but me, and those feelings are my personal jagged little pill to swallow...all on my own. 

I am firm believer in the power of animals to heal people and also the power of expressive art as a form of therapy. Anything that allows people to explore and observe their feelings through the creative process of making art gets a big two thumbs up from me. By engaging your focus on creative or artistic ventures you can literally detach from all of the stress and worry in your life, so it is not only healing but also restorative and rejuvenating to engage in regular forms of art therapy. 
Another reason that art therapy is so effective is because it is wildly liberating, there are literally no rules when it comes to art. You can explore, play and just have fun without worrying about the 'hows' or the 'what's.' There is no such thing as 'good' or 'bad' art, so you don't need to edit yourself or worry about not getting it right, you can allow yourself to be completely lost in the process of creating. And art comes in so many forms so there is bound to be a medium that you can use comfortably. 
Every child and adult (and some animals too) can access art therapy, it is completely inclusive and accessible to all levels of ability and in successful cases it has helped people to heal, clear, grow empathetically, develop mindfulness, de-stress, reconnect with themselves or loved ones, express their emotions and release past mental blocks. 
And the best part of all is that it is easy to access and also a relatively cheap alternative to other forms of therapy. And you can start using it right away as a way to declutter your mind and calm your breathing. Here is a list of some easy ways that you can kick off your own art therapy sessions at home without having to invest too much effort or money. 
Adult Colouring Books: These are everywhere now and cheap as chips to buy. Sometimes called 'Mindful Colouring Books' these are terrific for people that find it hard to know where to begin and can be used as launch pad for more free form art therapy techniques. They can be coloured with pencils, crayons or textas and you don't even have to stay in the lines!
Free Form Drawing/ Scribbling: On top of pencils, crayons and textas, try exploring pens, fineliners, pastels, chalks or even basic paints. It doesn't need to be a picture of anything, you can just add line without form or even close your eyes. Try left and right hand scribbling, use different paper and cardboard mediums and feel free to use your hands and fingers with chalks, charcoals and paints to really engage with your creation. 
Journalling: You can really mix up your mediums here and incorporate writing, collaging and art in your expressions. Use old magazines to find an image that you relate to and expand from there. You can also use stamps, stickers, stencils and washi tapes to highlight, define or add layers to your work. 
Apps: There are some terrific drawing and colouring apps that you can access for free on your tablet or device. Photography apps that allow you to add art and manipulate photos can be a fun way to express your emotions and create something original.  
Sculpture: You don't have to have access to a pottery wheel, kiln and clay to sculpt. You could use salt dough or papier mache instead which is actually a lot cheaper. Try using other 3D materials that you may already have around the house in your sculptures as well like wool, thread, wood, string, felt, buttons, ribbons or old clothing material. There are no limits to the amount of mixed mediums that you can add to your designs. 
Nature Art: If you have never seen the work of Andy Goldsworthy, do yourself a favour and check him out immediately. He is the king of natural art, and should provide you with some inspiration to get outdoors and start using nature as an art medium. Rocks, sticks, leaves, grasses, flowers, petals, moss and stones can all become the mediums in the most beautiful and therapeutic art expressions. 

So there you go, a list of easy cheap ways to kick start some at home art therapy. Just 30 minutes a day of tuning out your thoughts and engaging in a creative process can make the world of difference and really reduce your stress and anxiety levels, so why not give art therapy a go? Go grab your materials, turn on some music and get lost for a while in some form of art expression, you might be surprised by just how much you'll really love it! 

I do love a good horror anthology movie, and there are some absolute rippers out there. I think that when it comes to good anthology movies, you always feel like you are getting more bang for your buck and horror is the perfect genre for a short sharp burst of thrill and wicked excitement. The first horror anthology film that I ever saw was The Twilight Zone Movie in 1983. My parents took me to the Melton theatre to see it when I was 9 years old and it scared the absolute shit out of me, but it also started my love of short story horror, a love that has never gone away. 
The main problem that I have with horror anthology movies is that a lot of the time they can be extremely underwhelming and not very well executed. Some directors will cut corners because they aren't delivering a full length film and the end result can be more scab than scare. Which was unfortunately the case with the latest horror anthology to hit cinemas last month Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark. This film may hold some appeal with younger audiences, but a word of caution to any serious horror anthology veterans out there, prepare to be somewhat underwhelmed!
It could in fact be said that horror anthologies are often pretty bloody awful, but sometimes on the rare occasion when they do get the short story horror recipe just right, it can actually be highly entertaining, clever and completely engrossing.
And so, with all that being said, I feel that I must share a list of my favourite horror anthology movies with you. After all, Halloween is just on the horizon and any of these collections of horror treasure would make a perfect viewing choice for a ghoulish Halloween night in! 

1. Ghost Stories 
2. Three...Extremes
3. The ABC's of Death 
4. Trick 'r Treat
5. Tales from the Crypt 
6. The Twilight Zone Movie
7. Creepshow
8. Creepshow 2 
9. Tales from the Darkside
10. Cat's Eye

GHOST STORIES
Release Date: 2018
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 98 mins
An anthology horror film, written and directed by Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman, that was based on their stage play of the same name. The film comprises of three short tales of ghostly sightings and supernatural phenomenon, which  are interwoven with one main story that holds it all together. If you were ever a fan of old school horror anthologies like Creepshow, then you will probably enjoy this as much as I did. 
Phillip Goodman is a well known debunker of fraudulent psychics and a serious sceptic of everything paranormal. He receives an invitation from a fellow paranormal debunker that was one of his childhood inspirations back in the 1970's. The ageing investigator asks him to re-open three old cases that he could never prove to be fake. Goodman agrees and discovers more than he bargained for along the way. 
There is no denying that this film is creepy and at times perplexing as well, it uses genuinely effective methods of horror and it isn't reliant on jump scares or CGI effects to elicit fear, and for me it really worked. The three short stories were really interesting, probably more so than the main tale that binds it all together, but even still I really enjoyed Ghost Stories and was genuinely creeped out by its weird and often unsettling content. 
FINAL SAY: We have to be very careful what we choose to believe. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I went to see the much discussed and heatedly debated Joker movie on its opening day this week, not because I was caught up in all of the pre-movie controversy but rather because I genuinely had a desire to see it. I have seen every other DC comic movie offering and let's be honest, the preview of Joker looked amazing. For those of you that have somehow missed all of the pre-movie persecution of Joker, let me fill you in. 
This stand alone origin movie was shrouded in great concern because authorities felt that the film had the potential to unleash copycat violence and anarchy, particularly with fans of the previous anti-social media depictions of the Joker. And sure, after seeing it I can understand how it could make people that feel marginalised identify with the villain's plight, but I am not sure that will be enough to insight anarchy in the streets. The Joker has always been a character that embraces nihilism as a means of escaping his perceived cruel and unjust world, but if Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger and Jared Leto didn't get the downtrodden lashing out, why should Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal be any different? 
Well, I cannot deny that when I went to see Joker and a man stood up at the front of the theatre at the beginning of the movie and shouted out to the audience- "We all live in this society" that my heart didn't leap into my throat recalling the mass shooting  that occured in America at an airing of Batman - The Dark Knight Rises in 2012, killing 12 people and injuring 70 others. Yep, all that pre-talk controversy did get to me and for a moment I did perceive potential danger and frightening social disorder. 
And I cannot argue that Joker is undeniably relentless with its portrayal of the beaten down underdog. There is literally no relief for poor Arthur Fleck (aka Joker) in this movie, he is the most insanely tragic character to grace our screens in a long while, and being a DC comic character, this film is going to reach a wide and greatly varied audience. And contrary to his title, he isn't very funny at all, he's actually extremely sad, socially inept and painfully awkward. He clearly has a range of anxieties, suffers from severe depression and evidently already has a mental disorder that is not being treated correctly. How can we not feel sorry for this invisible and pained character? This film is gut-wrenchingly upsetting and we eventually just accept his complete breakdown as an inevitable consequence of his conditions. There is nothing funny about that at all is there? 
However, this whole 'pushed to the end of my limits' character arc is not new or original, it has been done before. Martin Scorsese did it with Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver and Joel Schumacher did it with D-Fens in Falling Down and no-one took the streets and shot up the world to hell in support of those characters either. And maybe that's because all of these characters had lost their minds, they were not sane and they were not in control of themselves, and to assume that awake and intelligent audiences are going to become gun toting loons after seeing Joker is of course ridiculous, but we also cannot ignore that to some already abused and unstable viewers that the fantasy of becoming a hero to the powerless and abused, even if it means being feared, could be perceived as appealing. 
However, if we are going to start inciting DC comics as a call to action for unstable sympathisers than we would also need to address all of the other forms of nihilism that exist in the media and the music industry today in order to really explore the influence of villains in our current society. Let's be real, Joker isn't funny, but the ugly side of life isn't and it never will be. Will it make people rage against the machine? I honestly doubt it, but stranger things have happened, who knows? Maybe a Disney movie will trigger someone one day.
Mostly, I think that what people are afraid of in regards to this movie is the fact that they will indeed identify with the dreadful oppression of the downtrodden and mentally unwell; and the lack of resources that are made available to them, which is really highlighted by this film. Rather than making people grab their weapons, I would hope that this empathy would instead make them feel called to address what is going on in our society today for us to identify with this high level of neglect and what can be done for the marginalised and neglected in the form of prevention. Like I said, woke audiences will see this movie and its message in a very different way, and perhaps a more proactive way overall than anyone could have ever expected. 

JOKER
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 121 mins 
A psychological thriller and a DC comics Joker origin story, this movie really divided audiences and critics alike with it's violent and often disturbing portrayal of mental illness. However, love it or hate it, this is one of the best performances of Joaquin Phoenix's already impressive repertoire and probably the best DC comic movie so far. Directed by Todd Phillips who co-wrote the screenplay with Scott Silver, Joker premiered at the 76th Venice International Film Festival where it won the Golden Lion award. 
Arthur Fleck, a clown for hire with a mental condition, lives with his aging mother in Gotham City. As the city collapses under crime, unemployment, and financial ruin, the Fleck family like so many others, fall onto hard and impoverish times. After a series of unfortunate and disempowering events occur, Arthur suffers a complete breakdown and begins a mental and physical transition, eventually transforming into the violent and deranged Joker of Gotham City. 
This is a chilling and plausible origin story that offers real depth and insight into the Joker character, as well as providing some new information about the Wayne family enterprise that Batman belongs to.
Phoenix delivers an Oscar worthy and completely engrossing performance as the Joker, which not only compliments the great work that Heath Ledger layed down years earlier in The Dark Knight, but adds yet another layer to this intriguing and genuinely disturbing character's tale. 
FINAL SAY: My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me I had a purpose: to bring laughter and joy to the world.
4 Chilli Peppers ​

It is important to understand not only your own triggers, but to able to identify the triggers in others around you as well. The fact is, that no-one in the world doesn't have a tipping point, everyone does, even the Pope and the Dalai Lama have trigger points, they are just a lot better at managing their triggers, so people think that they don't actually have them. But of course, they are human and every intelligent individual on the planet understands that to be human is to be imperfect and fallible, and sometimes that means getting angry or annoyed about things, feelings or situations. 
The ability to be able to identify triggers in yourself and others offers a person a huge life advantage. If you can identify your own triggers then you can both manage them better and avoid situations that are going to cause you undue stress. Being able to identify someone else's tipping point could be seen as an unfair advantage and if you were a villain you could certainly exploit that knowledge, but I believe that understanding why others trigger is actually an opportunity for compassion and stronger personal relations.
The better that we can understand ourselves and others, then the higher are our chances to come together in peaceful  and equitable ways. Understanding that people do not behave the way that they behave for nothing allows space for unpacking and understanding and eventually compassion as well. However, in order to get to the root of a trigger, you must firstly be willing to take a very honest look at the emotion and feeling that it is attached to that trigger. 
Generally, people get annoyed and angry because they have perceived something to be unfair, but that definition of unfair could fall into a number of different emotions, and to able to identify any trigger properly, you have to be able to name the feeling that is associated with it first. When you find yourself triggered, or are in the presence of someone that is being triggered, try to identify which of these feelings is being conveyed:
I feel unheard.
I feel judged.
I don't feel good enough.
I don't feel worthy.
I feel left out.
I feel blamed.
I feel uncared for.
I feel unloved.
I feel controlled.
I feel betrayed.
I feel unimportant.
I feel disrespected. 
As I said, all of these emotions will make a person feel like something unfair or that some sort of injustice has occurred, but the emotions attached to them are varied and rooted in very different origins and will therefore require different levels of mediation or conversation for resolution. However, once you can identify the emotional link of your trigger, then you can start to identify its origin and why you are attached to that feeling, and this is the first step to healing and eventual release. 
Managing and identifying your triggers (and the triggers of others) is a process, one that requires patience and commitment, but it is such a powerful process and one that will develop a genuine understanding the self. Anything that allows you to let go of something that no longer serves you is never wasted and anything that can open a dialogue with the people around you that are feeling triggered is only going to further nurture your relationships  with them which is always going to be worthy work to undertake. 
So try a new method, try not to engage with your triggers, but rather try to practise identifying them. Name them, attach a genuine feeling to them and start to work out what it is that has created these feelings within you. As I said earlier, everyone has triggers, but some people are just a lot better at managing theirs, and you have the power to also be that person. 

As if on cue, the 71st Primetime Emmy Awards happened on Monday at 10am. This was extremely fortuitous for me on so many levels. First and foremostly, I am currently on spring break which meant that I could be glued to the TV and watch it all unfold in real time, huge bloody bonus! And on top of that, my car was in for major repairs which meant that I was truly and genuinely housebound anyway, so winner, winner - the TV Gods spoke and I got to camp on the couch for three uninterrrupted hours straight without any guilty feelings whatsoever.
For a TV and movie addict, this was a very pleasant way to kick off my spring break and I must say that I was in total agreeance with the chosen winners in each category and highly recommend all of the TV series that won awards this year. Television just continues to go from strength to strength, and never before has TV ever been this consistently good. The Emmy award line up this year was staggeringly great and I don't think that the competition has ever been this fiercely competitive. All of the series nominated were really high quality which just galvanises the fact that television is better than it has ever been before. 
For anyone that missed all of the glitz, glamour and excitement, I have of course got you covered! Here is a list of the very deserving nominees and winners (in bold) for each category:
Outstanding Drama Series
Better Call Saul
Bodyguard
Game of Thrones
Killing Eve
Ozark
Pose
Succession
This Is Us

Outstanding Comedy Series
Barry
Fleabag
Russian Doll
Schitt’s Creek
The Good Place
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Veep

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)
Kit Harington (Game of Thrones)
Jason Bateman (Ozark)
Sterling K. Brown (This Is Us)
Milo Ventimiglia (This Is Us)
Billy Porter (Pose)

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones)
Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Viola Davis (How To Get Away With Murder)
Sandra Oh (Killing Eve)
Jodie Comer (Killing Eve)
Mandy Moore (This Is Us)
Laura Linney (Ozark)

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Henry Winkler (Barry)
Anthony Carrigan (Barry)
Stephen Root (Barry)
Tony Hale (Veep)
Tony Shalhoub (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Alan Arkin (The Kominsky Method)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Sarah Goldberg (Barry)
Sian Clifford (Fleabag)
Olivia Colman (Fleabag)
Betty Gilpin (GLOW)
Marin Hinkle (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Kate McKinnon (Saturday Night Live)
Alex Borstein (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Anna Chlumsky (Veep)

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series
Barry “ronny/lily”
Fleabag “Episode 1”
PEN15 “Anna Ishii-Peters”
Russian Doll “Nothing In This World Is Easy”
Russian Doll “A Warm Body”
The Good Place “Janet(s)”
Veep “Veep”

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series
Barry “The Audition”
Barry “ronny/lily”
Fleabag “Episode 1”
The Big Bang Theory “Stockholm Syndrome”
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “All Alone”
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel “We’re Going To The Catskills!”

Outstanding Comedy Actor
Bill Hader (Barry)
Don Cheadle (Black Monday)
Anthony Anderson (Black-ish)
Eugene Levy (Schitt’s Creek)
Ted Danson (The Good Place)
Michael Douglas (The Kominsky Method)

Outstanding Comedy Actress
Christina Applegate (Dead to Me)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag)
Catherine O’Hara (Schitt’s Creek)
Natasha Lyonne (Russian Doll)
Rachel Brosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)

Outstanding Competition Series
American Ninja Warrior
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Nailed It!
The Amazing Race
The Voice
Top Chef

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series
Emily Watson (Chernobyl)
Patricia Clarkson (Sharp Objects)
Marsha Stephanie Blake (When They See Us)
Vera Farmiga (When They See Us)
Patricia Arquette (The Act)
Margaret Qualley (Fosse/Verdon)

Outstanding Directing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Dramatic Special
A Very English Scandal
Chernobyl
Escape At Dannemora
Fosse/Verdon “Glory”
Fosse/Verdon “Who’s Got The Pain”
When They See Us

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series
Ben Whishaw (A Very English Scandal)
Stellan Skarsgard (Chernobyl)
Paul Dano (Escape at Dannemora)
John Leguizamo (When They See Us)
Michael K. Williams (When They See Us)
Asante Blackk (When They See Us)

Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Dramatic Special
A Very English Scandal
Chernobyl
Escape At Dannemora “Episode 6”
Escape At Dannemora “Episode 7”
Fosse/Verdon “Providence”
When They See Us “Part Four”

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series
Mahershala Ali (True Detective)
Hugh Grant (A Very English Scandal)
Benicio del Toro (Escape At Dannemora)
Sam Rockwell (Fosse/Verdon)
Jared Harris (Chernobyl)
Jharrel Jerome (When They See Us)

Outstanding Television Movie
Bandersnatch (Black Mirror)
Deadwood
Brexit
King Lear
My Dinner With Hervé

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series
Amy Adams (Sharp Objects)
Patricia Arquette (Escape at Dannemora)
Michelle Williams (Fosse/Verdon)
Joey King (The Act)
Aunjanue Ellis (When They See Us)
Niecy Nash (When They See Us)

Outstanding Limited Series
Chernobyl
Escape at Dannemora
Fosse/Verdon
Sharp Objects
When They See Us

Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series
Documentary Now!
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
Late Night With Seth Meyers
Saturday Night Live
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Outstanding Variety Sketch Series
Documentary Now!
Drunk History
I Love You, America With Sarah Silverman
Saturday Night Live
Who Is America?
At Home With Amy Sedaris

Outstanding Directing for a Variety Series
Documentary Now! “Waiting For The Artist”
Drunk History “Are You Afraid Of The Drunk?”
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver “Psychics”
Saturday Night Live “Host: Adam Sandler”
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert “Live Midterm Election Show”
Who Is America? “Episode 102”

Outstanding Variety Talk Series
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Last Week Tonight With John Oliver
The Daily Show With Trevor Noah
The Late Late Show With James Corden
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Jonathan Banks (Better Call Saul)
Giancarlo Esposito (Better Call Saul)
Alfie Allen (Game of Thrones)
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones)
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Michael Kelly (House of Cards)
Chris Sullivan (This Is Us)

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
Better Call Saul “Winner”
Bodyguard “Episode 1”
Game of Thrones “The Iron Throne”
Killing Eve “Nice And Neat”
Succession “Nobody Is Ever Missing”
The Handmaid’s Tale “Holly”

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Lena Headey (Game of Thrones)
Gwendoline Christie (Game of Thrones)
Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones)
Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones)
Fiona Shaw (Killing Eve)
Julia Garner (Ozark)

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Game of Thrones “The Last Of The Starks”
Game of Thrones “The Long Night”
Game of Thrones “The Iron Throne”
Killing Eve “Desperate Times”
Ozark “Reparations”
Succession “Celebration”
The Handmaid’s Tale “Holly"

Being a movie blog, it was hard for me to find a film to attach to this post, but after some consideration I decided to go with Paris is Burning in tribute to this year's Outstanding Competition Television series winner - RuPaul's Drag Race, which was clearly influenced by this outstanding and informative must-see documentary.

PARIS IS BURNING
Release Date: 1990
Rating: M
Running Time: 71 mins
Ever wondered where Madonna got her idea for Vogue? And where RuPaul got his 'fierce' drag competition ideas? Well look no further, because Paris is Burning will answer all those questions and more.  
An American documentary, directed by Jennie Livingston, that chronicles the drag ball culture of the mid to late 80's in New York City and the African-American, Latino, gay and transgender communities involved. This invaluable documentary shines a spotlight on the Golden Age of New York City drag balls and offers a thoughtful exploration of race, class, gender and sexuality in America during the 80's. 
​Elaborately structured drag ball competitions offer contestants the opportunity to 'walk' and be judged on their 'realness' by prominent members of the scene who have established 'houses' that serve as intentional families, social groups and performance teams.
Through a series of ball footage reels and interviews with prominent members, we gain an intimate and insightful understanding of the struggles, strengths, pride and humour that exists within this colourful subculture. 
This is an intelligent, at times troubling, but also desperately hopeful piece that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime.
FINAL SAY: It is so obvious that if you have captured the great white way of living, or looking, or dressing, or speaking - you is a marvel.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Sometimes a movie will capture me up. It doesn't happen all of the time, in fact it is incredibly rare when it does happen which is what makes it so remarkable and also special when it does occur. Very few movies have that kind of an effect on me and when they do, I find myself completely swept away on an intensely emotional journey. It is so emotional and connective that when the film reaches its inevitable conclusion I find that I suffer a weird type of remorse about it. This is because I have delved so deeply into the vision of the actors and the fabric of the story that I genuinely feel the film on the level that the director would have wanted the audience to feel it; which in a word is -completely.
For a moment, somewhere between 90 to 120 minutes, I am totally immersed in something so completely perfect that I become 100% absorbed by it in every way. My mind, body and soul are totally engulfed in the sweet visual transformation and I become riveted by the possible outcomes; so of course after being completely consumed to that level, I lament the end when it eventually arrives. 
Usually these 'swept away' moments happen during the wee small hours of the night, and are often after a few solitary libations and only ever after the house has fallen blissfully still and silent. These cherished moments are absolutely private and utterly perfect in their composition, just like a well crafted movie should be and they are something that I deeply covet as an avid lover of cinema; those golden moments when I get lost in an amazing movie. 
And it is during these wee private hours that I get to indulge in the movies that no-one else in the house would ever venture to investigate or appreciate me watching during their viewing hours. But these precious cinematic icons of days gone by or magically modern expressions of something as yet untold are pure gold to me. They evoke tears and connection and above all else they speak to me, they sing to my soul in private and perfect ways; in ways that only true lovers of cinema could ever really comprehend.
These kinds of movies are rare gems, they're transformative and altogether beautiful expressions that don't happen as often as I would like because being as addicted to cinema as I am means that I have to wade through hours and hours of mediocrity to arrive at a movie that has this much of an affect on me. And just like any addict, it is these ultimate highs that keep me going  back over and over to attain the rush all over again. It is the movies that affect me this deeply that make me acutely aware of just how addicted to quality cinema I really am. Quality movies really are an obsession, a preoccupation and a secret longing that I harbour and in those wee hours when my yearnings are fulfilled, well those are some of the best nights of the year for me.   
And it just so happens that I kicked off my Spring holiday break with a 2.30am viewing that did sate my urge and did sweep me away, and it felt so good to be lost in a good movie again because it really has been such a very long time between drinks for me and it felt so good to be swallowed up by something of substance all over again. 

45 YEARS 
Release Date: 2015
Rating: M
Running Time: 91 minutes 
A British drama, directed and written by Andrew Haigh and based on the short story "In Another Country" by David Constantine. After its premiere 45 Years gained a lot of attention, particularly for actress Charlotte Rampling who was nominated at the 88th Academy Awards for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her stellar performance as Kate Mercer. She and Tom Courtenay, who plays Geoff Mercer, both deservedly won Best Actress and Best Actor Silver Bear Awards at the Berlin International Film Festival.
Kate and Geoff Mercer are just about to celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary when Geoff receives news from Switzerland that the body of his long lost German lover from the 1960's has been discovered in a melting glacier.  Kate is disturbed that Geoff had not previously shared this information about his German lover, the events that surrounded her death or the depth of their relationship. Doubt and suspicion starts to develop. 
This movie feels genuine, on every level. The couple seem completely at ease with one another, the relationship is plausible and the conversations that they share are so natural that you almost feel like a fly on the wall as you watch the story unfold. Rampling and Courtenay are truly amazing together and epitomise all of the comfort of predictability and distress of change that older people are so well known for. There really aren't enough moves about mature aged couples, but there should be more of them. If 45 Years is anything to go by, I definitely want to see more.
FINAL SAY: Would you have married her? 
4 Chilli Peppers 

I am currently listening to a life altering audio book called The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment  by Eckhart Tolle. It is both the most interesting book that I have ever engaged and the most perplexing book that I have ever encountered. Basically the book stresses the importance of living only in the present moment of your life, meaning that you should not be thinking about the future or the past but rather allowing yourself to be completely and totally absorbed by the present moment of your life (which is otherwise known as - The Now).
This book is the ultimate guide to extreme and absolute presence, or if I'm going to go with the buzzword of the decade - mindfulness. And I cannot deny that being 100% in the present moment feels pretty much like an impossibility for me to do, in fact most of the time it feels downright wrong, neglectful and lazy to do. And that is only because I have been so conditioned to pay attention to external things and concentrate on the next thing that is coming or drawing from my past, that I have actually spent hardly any time at all in the actual moment that I was in at any given time. And not only that, but I have also been conditioned to identify myself based on my inability to be in the moment and therefore have limited my true potential. Sounds complex I know, but it all does make sense, so let me break it down for you. 
When your thoughts are concerned in the present only you will experience the following:

• Increased awareness of what is happening.
• Strong and focused attention to tasks.
• More enjoyment of life pleasures. 
• An ability to perceive without judgement - knowing that you don't have to label or identify. 
• An ability to step back from your emotions and observe them. 
• A realisation of your potentials.
• Openness, curiosity and acceptance. 

When you are not concerned with the present moment, you will be experiencing:

• Autopilot reactions to situations based on habits.
• Poor attentional control.
• A flippant and non-appreciative attitude to life pleasures. 
• Reliving past experiences and projecting them into your future endeavours. 
• Labelling and judging things as good or bad, right or wrong.
• Your brain emotionally hijacking your responses.
• Neglect of your potential. 
• A limiting attitude. 

So whether you call it being in The Now or practicing Mindfulness, you have to admit the benefits of being in the present moment are far more appealing than not being in the present moment right? However, actually staying in that mindful and present moment is really challenging, and it takes practise and effort to stop your brain from hijacking your thoughts and forcing you back into deep seated and well worn patterns of habit that are derived from your past experiences and your aspirations about the future. 
What worked best for me was accepting that all of the moments behind me were truly and completely finished. Nothing that I can do now will ever alter the past from what it is or change the past from what it is, so worrying about it or revisiting it internally is both pointless and futile. The past is utterly and completely unchangeable.
The future on the other hand is totally unwritten which means that any thoughts that I have about how it should look or what it should be like are based in complete fiction. Allowing myself to create an illusion about my future is not harnessing my ability to make things happen right now and it is only offering a point of reference that I will feel tethered to completing and if I don't, then I will feel disappointed and pained by my shattered illusions. 
No matter how you look at, all we ever really get to have is here and now. This moment and only this moment, nothing more and nothing less than that. By focusing less on your past and worrying less about your future, you will free your thinking and liberate your life from guilt and expectation, which is where most of our disappointments about life occur. Start slowly, try to stop multitasking and give your full attention to one task at a time when you can, get out in nature and think about nothing but where you are and what you are doing for the entire time that you are out. Also, try to bring yourself to the current moment whenever you can, like when you are driving, eating a meal or taking a shower, don't do those things on autopilot or while you're thinking about other things, but instead fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing 100%. Everytime that you allow yourself be more present in the moment, the better that you will get at it, and before long every moment will be filled with unlimited potential and joy.
But you don't have to take my or Eckhart Tolle's word for it, try it for yourself and see where it takes you, besides you know that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from giving it a go. 

Whenever I tell people that I have a website that is dedicated to reviewing movies they always ask me the same question - What's Your Favourite Movie of All Time? As a lover of movies, this is one of the hardest questions that I ever get asked because it is almost impossible to choose just one movie when I have seen and enjoyed so many.
There is a reason that I have a Hall of Fame page that is dedicated to movies that I gave 5 Chilli Peppers to, and that's because I find it so hard to compare movies from different genres against each other. If someone asks me what my favourite movie is, I usually respond with 'that depends on which genre you're talking about.'
If I could have the option of choosing a favourite in each genre, then I could definitely tell you my favourites without any trouble at all:
DRAMA: Manchester by the Sea
HORROR: Rosemary's Baby
SCIENCE FICTION: Interstellar
​WAR: Inglourious Basterds
SUPER: Avengers: Endgame
COMEDY: Snatch
CRIME/ACTION: No Country for Old Men
ART HOUSE: Youth
FOREIGN: The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) 
FANTASY: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
GRITTY: Melancholia
ROMANCE: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 
KID FRIENDLY: Kubo and the Two Strings 

So why are these my favourite films when I have so many more listed on my Hall of Fame that are also 5 Chilli Peppers worthy? Well that's easy, these are the movies that I go back to time and time again and always enjoy them just as much as I did the first time that I watched them. All of them had an effect on me in one way or another and all of them left me pondering after I had seen them. I guess that I really don't have one favourite movie of all time, I actually have 13, which also happens to be my lucky number! 

It's almost been ten days since our Zoe arrived back home after breaking up with her fiance and partner of 8 years Lachlainn. The news came as a bit of a shock to us all, but maybe I just didn't want to see the problems because I wanted to believe that Zoe was happy, but in truth, she wasn't. Looking back on these things with hindsight you can always see the cracks and chips in clarity but at the time you are just blinded by what you want to see. It is always like this with breakups of any kind I think, and even though the clarity is there, it really doesn't make breaking up any easier to do. 
Zoe has been strong and organised with this break up to within an inch of her life, which is what we have all come to expect from our Zoe. She's tough and she strong, and it does take great strength to admit that things aren't working and then to also walk away from them. Zoe leaves behind eight years of memories and most of her formative years experiences with Lachlainn since they practically grew up together. Zoe was only 14 years old when she and Lachlainn got together, so it is both fair and probably to be expected that they have just grown apart as time has progressed, and we really should have seen this coming to be honest, but as I said hindsight is 20/20. 
I think back to some of the douche bags that I was hooking up with when I was only 14 years old and...jeez! There is no way that I could probably even stand to be in the same room with some of those weirdos let alone in a relationship with them. Not that I am saying that Lachlainn is a douchebag or anything, but the likelihood of wanting someone that you hooked up with when you were a kid as an adult are probably slim to none.
Craig and I got together when I was just short of 18 and we have had more dramatic episodes than Days of Our Lives on the way to eventually finding happiness and contentment together. We broke up numerous times, fought like we were on the set of Rocky, got regularly and spectacularly wasted together like we were Sid and Nancy at an Irish stag do and eventually popped out the other end (somehow) still together.
And I'm not going to lie to you, it was really hard to stay together when we were young, it felt downright impossible at times. We were both the youngest of five children so we were both used to having our own ways and we had no idea how to make a relationship work, we were both headstrong, opinionated brats. However, unlike Zoe and Lachlainn we were already married and had a home mortgage and a child before we were even 25 so we felt like we had to stick it out through thick and thin, it was complicated. Fortunately for Zoe and Lachlainn they didn't have any of these responsibilities to make them feel tethered together, so breaking up became amicable and quite simple really, well as simple as breakups can be if that's any consolation. 
Breaking up, no matter how clean, is not easy. You are never  just leaving another person, but also leaving a part of yourself and a way of being that you may have grown accustomed to. You leave behind who you once were when you were with that person and you are technically re-inventing yourself into another version of yourself. A single version of yourself, which will be hard for Zoe because she hasn't really experienced being single yet, it's totally foreign territory. However, as we all know, foreign territory although a little scary at times, can also be exciting, exhilarating and empowering. And if anyone is going to be able to stand on their own two feet, I have absolutely no doubt that Zoe will. She has more strong independent woman in her than Sinead O'Connor and I really believe that although it is sad that she has broken up with Lachlainn that this will be her time to shine and really come into her own. 
Sometimes we need a clean break to kick start a new life, and sometimes that opportunity can only be seized by letting go of an old and outmoded version of ourselves. Sometimes letting go of people in our lives that are holding us back from meeting our true potential is only sad for a short time before we can fluff up our own wings again and take flight on our own. And I cannot deny that the very selfish and motherly parts of me are genuinely  excited to have my darling daughter back in the nest for me to fuss over once again. Here together we can support her, help her to heal the broken parts of herself and then help her to move on to the next big adventure that life has in store for her. Zoe deserves all of that and more and now it is her chance to fly solo, put herself first and do whatever she wants to do. 

If he lived, the news would soon be here. Nay, evil news fly faster still than good. That line came from a play called The Spanish Tragedy which was written sometime between 1582 and 1592. It was the first time that the phrase Bad news travels fast was written in print form and proves that even hundreds of years ago it was human nature to be more interested in failure and woe than success and good tidings. 
And believe it or not, it's not our fault that we do pay more attention to the negative things, because we are actually hard-wired to do that. From an evolutionary standpoint the primary goal is to survive, and in general it's the bad experiences not the good ones that have the biggest impact on that ability to survive. Our evolutionary ancestors would've had a far greater chance of survival if they remembered how to out-maneuver a predator or which berries were safe to eat instead of where they found nice tree to nap under. It was the difference between surviving and dying, so storing negative information and passing it along was a means of survival that we still carry with us today. 
Rick Hanson wrote a fascinating book on the subject called Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom and in it he cites how studies have shown that the brain detects negative information faster than positive, stores it for longer and creates very lasting and difficult to undo pathways that we will reactivate when we find ourselves in similar circumstances. Did you know that in personal relationships it can take up to 5 positive interactions to undo just one negative interaction? It actually takes numerous go overs to unlearn a negative experience which is why it is so difficult to forgive someone when they hurt or betray you, it isn't easy because your brain actually physically resists you creating a new pathway. 
Your brain is unconsciously always deciding whether to avoid or approach everything that it encounters in the world, and regardless of how extroverted you may be, your brain in its most primal form is actually naturally wired to avoidance first and fighting against that is what causes feelings of anxiety. However, not all hope is lost, you don't need to avoid everything and you don't have to suffer relentless anxiety, there are ways to retrain your brain.
Hanson goes on to explain that your brain can override these instincts and be retrained to develop compassion through practising mindfulness, gratitude and self affirmation. You can actually create overriding positives for yourself that will crush your negative experiences, create new and better brain pathways and lead you to a more emotionally balanced and calm lifestyle. 
In short, you don't need to feel like a slave to negative words and thoughts, you can chose positive ones through repetition and focus. You can start today by passing on some good news, sharing your thoughts of gratitude or complimenting others instead of being the bearer of bad news. You don't actually have to help bad news travel at all if you don't want to, you have the power to give yourself peace of mind because you have evolved far beyond the need to ignite your monkey brain functions, you're a higher and more evolved being than that now. 
So it's time to spark your good news, pass along some positives and give yourself a compliment every single day because when you do that you are actually annihilating negative pathways that you have previously carved into your brain and giving yourself the opportunity to be free from anxiety. You deserve to have peace of mind and now you know that it is as easy as being more mindful of your thoughts about others and yourself and honing your ability to focus on the positives around you, it's really is that simple! Change your focus, be positive and be complementary and I promise that you will feel a whole lot calmer and more in control of your emotions, trust me it really works!  

FINDING NEMO 
Release Date: 2003
Rating: G
Running Time: 100 mins
Pixar Animation Studios really raised the bar with their computer animated, comedy-drama Finding Nemo. This movie tells a meaningful and heartfelt tale of a father-son relationship set under the sea in Australia.
When young clown fish Nemo gets taken from the Great Barrier Reef by a diver, his father Marlin sets out on an epic adventure across the ocean to find his son. Meanwhile Nemo, who has arrived in Sydney, finds himself in a dentist's fish tank filled with a bevvy of other tropical fish that are keen to make an escape. 
There are loads of laughs to be had here, mostly coming from Ellen DeGeneres' character Dory; but more than that, this movie is a visual delight with it's brightly coloured depictions of life aquatic. 
FINAL SAY: Just keep swimming!
4 Chilli Peppers
NOTE: Finding Dory (2016) was an excellent sequel to Finding Nemo, every bit as beautiful and enjoyable as it's predecessor. Boasting a consistent voice cast, this next adventure of sea life mishap is based around a city aquarium.   ​

Everyone has at least one great story to tell. Some people actually have even more than that, but everyone has at least one story that will either enchant, revolt, tantalize, amuse or tug at your heart strings in some way. The reason that I know this to be true is because I like to really listen to people, and when you really listen to people they will tell you the most marvellous things.
Not everything that people will tell you when you listen to them will be happy, in fact some things will be sad or even harrowing or worst of all vile, but they will tell you a story if you give them enough of your attention and ask the right questions, and that is when you will hear the most interesting stories that will stay with you forever. And stories should be varied anyway, our experience of the human condition is completely individualised and therefore multifaceted. No two people have the same life experiences and no two people will even view the same life experience in the same way, so when you think about it like that there are actually billions and billions of untold stories floating around inside random people right now just waiting to be heard. 
Some people have a genuine gift for storytelling and when they start to speak you just want to grab a cuppa and a cushion and dig in for a good listening session. Other people aren't quite as engaging when they tell their tales, but that doesn't make their stories any less meaningful or interesting in the long run. Sometimes the briefest of tales can be the most poignant and meaningful. It is claimed that Ernest Hemingway once wrote a six-word story that could make people for a cry for a bet. The wager was ten dollars, which Hemingway won with the following: "For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never worn." 
In 2006, Wired magazine followed Hemingway's example and asked sci-fi, fantasy and horror writers to come up with their own six word stories, here are a few of my favourites: 
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison
Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan
He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky
You just gotta love a good story, and even though some are clearly more interesting or insightful than others, none of them are not worth hearing. Who knows? The next person that you meet could have the most interesting tale in the world to share with you! So make sure you take some time to listen to the people around you...because they do want to tell you things! 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 161 mins 
A crime/ drama and at times an exceptionally dark comedy, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood is Quentin Tarantino's brilliantly executed homage to the end of The Golden Age of Hollywood. With a massive ensemble cast and multiple storylines, this is a fairy tale retell of the days surrounding the brutal Sharon Tate murders by the Manson cult that occurred in 1969. Unlike other Tarantino movies, this film demonstrates more restraint around the levels of on screen graphic gore and violence...well...mostly, there are still some intense graphic scenes to experience here, but it is Tarantino and we have all come to expect some shock violence from his films. 
Fading Western television star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his best friend and stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) encounter colourful and controversial characters as they try to maneuver Dalton out of Hollywood 'Has-Been' oblivion and back into the limelight with the help of spaghetti westerns and Hollywood opportunities. 
No late '60's stone goes unturned here, with everything from The Playboy Mansion and Roman Polanski  to Bruce Lee  and Charles Manson getting a look in. And it all mishmashes together into one terrifically enjoyable old pop culture tribute that I completely adored. I was riveted for the duration and grateful to see something so refreshingly new at the cinema again. 
DiCaprio and Pitt are not only on their A game but they are having a lot of fun with this already witty script. The cast is absolutely massive; Tarantino has again used Zoe Bell and Kurt Russell well, but has also added some fresh new faces to his cast list with notable performances from Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate, Lena Dunham as Gypsy, Dakota Fanning as Squeaky Fromme, Bruce Dern as George Spahn and stealing some hard to grab attention from everyone else was newcomer Julia Butters playing the wise western star child Trudi. 
This is not my favourite Tarantino offering, but I cannot deny that it is one of his best, and it is definitely the best thing that I have seen at the cinema so far this year. 
FINAL SAY: It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

All of my life I have wanted to have people around me that I could share my experiences with and rely on when times were tough. Ever since The Goonies set off in search of One Eyed Willy's Treasure (just on a side note, has anyone else noticed the incredible inappropriateness of that name as an adult?) I have always longed to be part of a group or team that had a common goal and accepted me for who I am. A faithful, reliable and steadfast group of people that would loyally support me and embrace all of the wacky weirdness that I deliver on a daily basis without making me feel like I needed to be any different or edit myself.  
In all honesty, hardly anyone truly gets to experience a genuine Goonies childhood group of friends, because we all know that kids are fickle and friendships change as quick as knickers for them.  However, when you become an adult you start to look for people that you can share like minded experiences with, enjoy a good meal and good conversation with and most importantly, someone that can act like a harbour in a tempest when the waves of life get a little too choppy.  
The sad thing about that is, that not everyone finds friends like that in their lives. Not everyone gets to know the extreme joy and sense of belonging that one can only experience when they are drawn into a tribe of good people and then find much more than just common ground but something supremely supportive and genuine. 
However, finding genuinely enriching friendships is actually quite difficult because adults come with massive amounts of baggage, have no idea how to even be a decent friend and from my experience, a lot of adults would rather cut you down than share in your peace, love and mung beans ideals of friendship. Some adults just aren't looking for new friends, they aren't interested in sharing their time with anyone and they really couldn't give a shit about camaraderie or common goals, but I am pretty sure that they didn't always feel that way. 
Friendships that are that solid and meaningful do actually require a lot of work and a sacrifice of personal time, a sacrifice that many adults just can't be bothered investing in. And to cultivate good friendships you also have to put up with people not being as invested or genuine as you are, and that part sucks pretty badly. I have had some bloody dreadful friends over the years that have made me feel used, manipulated, uneasy, offended and even rejected but I also learnt a shit load from those experiences about what friendship is and what I am looking for when it comes to my own friendships.
As an adult, I have some of the most delightful, engaging and meaningful friendships that I have ever had in my life right now. I have friendships that have spanned decades and some that are just beginning to blossom, I have friends that are super easy to be around and some that take a little more work, but I love them all in varied and special ways. I have social friends, work mates, family friends, long time friends and occasional friends and I like to spend time with them all. All of my friends bring something to the table for me and I love them dearly because they are all darlings. 
So, yeah maybe I didn't get to experience a dedicated friendship group as a kid, but as a 46 year old woman I have more friends and good people in my life than I have ever had before and that is such a wonderful feeling. Maybe in some ways I am finally getting my long desired Goonies experience after all, just in adulthood. Pretty sure that I would be the Chunk of the group these days because I certainly do have the perfect stomach for a little truffle shuffle! 

I was looking at a photo of myself in my Year 8 homeroom class the other day. Good Lord! I was so ridiculously awkward and dorky, there are just no words to describe it accurately, but I will try. Slightly spotty, thin as a rail - which actually goes against everything that my ballet teacher told me that year about how my neck was way too fat for me to ever be a ballet dancer (thanks Charlotte, that didn't half damage me as a teenager!) but anyway, let's get back to my youthful hopelessness. In the photo I have the worst perm imaginable, I mean truly horrific, I do recall wanting a trendy 80's Madonna spiral perm and what I got was more Kath Day-Knight from Kath and Kim than anything Madonna would ever be seen dead in. I don't have a scrap of make-up on, I have a discoloured front tooth, I have the limpest lace headband on and I look like I have no idea what's going on whatsoever. 
What I do get from that photo though is my complete innocence and obvious unawareness of just how much of a dork I actually am. And in truth, I don't actually even remember being or feeling like a total dork in early high school. I don't even think that anyone picked on me for that horrific hairdo or for being a pretty big sado, even though that photo does scream sad on so many levels. However, I do firmly believe that if any teenager rocked up to high school looking like that these days that they would be eaten alive by their peers. 
Now I don't want to paint an inaccurate picture of high school in the eighties being all rainbows and one big lovey-dovey getalong fest, because that would be total bullshit, it wasn't like that at all. High school in the eighties was also a brutal and cruel landscape that teenagers had to endure and attempt to maneuver through with as little baggage and a need for therapy at the other end. I'm pretty sure that high school in any decade came with it's own unique challenges and horrific coming of age awkwardness. However, when I was at high school the standards and expectations around teenage beauty were quite different and without any social media saturation, I think that the pressures to conform to certain physical standards were much lower for us than they are for teenagers now. 
Back in my day, every teenage girl wanted to look like the gorgeous teenage models on the front of Dolly magazine, but honestly even those perfect specimens were really quite normal and healthy looking Australian teens. Some of them even had visible imperfections, and since airbrushing was not a practised art, those girls looked real and felt quite accessible. They weren't glossy or perfect and they really looked like teenage girls and not like young adults. Some Dolly cover girls even had crooked teeth, thick unplucked eyebrows and heaven forbid -everyday faces! And the magazine regularly had articles and advice about realistic health and wellbeing issues that teenage girls legitimately faced at that time. I loved Dolly when I was a teenager and some of those self empowerment articles helped me to believe in my inner beauty and find confidence in my own imperfect skin.
I actually work across the road and around the corner from two secondary schools and everyday I see gorgeous teenage girls walking to and from school. Some of those girls look years older than they actually are and so many of them have dreadful posture because they are slumped over their iphones as they travel around. Some of them will never truly understand the power that they have right now; the poor things can't even see their own potential, youth and beauty because they are so caught up in trying to be part of a manufactured and unrealistic standard. And because of that, they are robbing themselves of their right to be innocent and imperfect. 
How fast do your teenage years go? So damn fast and once they are gone, they are gone forever. You literally have the entire rest of your life to perfect your flaws, find your signature look and climb upon the wheel of lifelong beauty struggles as most adult women tend to do. However, in your teenage years it's totally fine to have imperfect teeth and skin, it's okay to have some puppy fat and a bad perm, it's expected that you will wear clothes that are not in your colours or that suit your style and body shape, and above all it's your time to embrace looking like a total dork and not even caring about it!
Sure, I looked like a trainwreck in Year 8, but I was blissfully unaware of that and I am so glad that I got to have those early teenage years of innocence and oblivion. Who knows what kind of an obsessive nutter I would be now if I hadn't have had that time? I shudder at the thought, and I also feel so very sorry and mostly sad for all of the gorgeous teenagers out there that are already overthinking things way too much for their own good, underestimating their appearance and not revelling in a soon to be lost and never to be returned - age of innocence. 

I know that I am so often banging on like a Salvation Army drum about self care, self maintenance and self awareness, and obviously I do hold those things in very high regard. However, with that being said, I do also believe that it is not only our job to care for ourselves, but to also care for others as well. We have an obligation to help everyone and everything on the planet as well as ourselves, which means that we need to not only be hyper vigilant about caring for ourselves but also extremely attentive with our care and concern for the wellbeing of others as well. 
There is no point running about claiming to have your shit together if you are neglecting your loved ones, your friends, members of your community or anyone else that finds themselves in times of hardship or crisis.  We are not doing well in the world when we ignore those around us that are fallen, weak, lonely or destitute.
When we find ourselves in a position of good fortune and wellness then it is our turn to extend a hand, an ear or a dollar to assist others to stand back up onto their feet as well. Some people are only in need of some quality time, a little tea and sympathy may be all that is required. A kind word, a small gesture or thought, a supportive conversation; helping others doesn't have to be expensive or difficult.
It is true that some people's needs may require more time and money than you can invest in on your own, but you can still be a catalyst in launching a meaningful kick start with the help of a local charity or foundation. You can volunteer some time to a local organisation that is in alignment with something that you care about, you can help to fundraise for an important cause and you can spare a few dollars to allow someone else to have more. 
People often don't volunteer because they just don't know where to start, but there are some amazing online resources for people that want to volunteer that can help you to find ways to be supportive and it is super easy to do. The best place to start if you are Australian is to hop onto the govolunteer.com.au website. You can put in your postcode and it will list all of the volunteering opportunities that are coming up in your local area and you can even refine your searches to chose the days, times and types of volunteer activities that you would like to participate in. Once you have found an opportunity that suits you, you just put in an expression of interest to the organisation and you're on your way to making a difference. 
However, if getting involved in something big or organisational isn't your bag, then that's okay too because there are always things that need to be done on a small scale that are no less meaningful or important. You do not need to be making grand or sweeping gestures to be making a difference in the lives of others or showing that you care about the needs of others. In fact, if you really start to listen to the people that are around you everyday in your immediate community, you will find that there are actually opportunities to offer support an help in simple and yet very meaningful ways all of the time. 
Do you know of a tired parent in need a childminder so that they can go and have a coffee with a friend or have an interrupted haircut? Does an exhausted friend need a meal cooked for them and a sympathetic ear? Does a sad co-worker need to be told how amazing they are and what a terrific job they do? Does your elderly neighbour need their lawn mowed? Does your partner deserve a back rub? Have you told your children or your parents how much you appreciate them? There are millions of ways that we can be taking care of others everyday, and more often than not it costs very little of your time, effort and money to do so. 
And the best thing of all about caring for others is that is so good for your soul and your own sense of wellbeing. Start with something small, a random act of kindness or an act of support to someone in your community, and keep building on it. If everyone that was able to offer just a little of themselves every week to help someone else in need, can you imagine what a marvellous world we would live in and how terrifically supported we would all feel? Pay a little of your time, love and/or money forward this week to someone else and enjoy the feeling of knowing that you are making a difference, helping out someone in need, doing something meaningful and contributing to something a whole lot bigger than yourself. 

Dozens of people have told me how they never, ever watch foreign movies because the sub-titles really piss them off. Fair enough I suppose; but in all seriousness you are missing out on some incredibly good movies if you aren't willing to watch subtitled films.
I do accept that subtitled films are not a good choice if you are:
a. a poor reader 
b. drunk
c. a xenophobe
d. blind
e. any combination of or all of the above
To everyone else I say, come on really? Deciding that you will not watch subtitled films is like saying that you are not interested in interpretations of the human experience unless they are expressed in english, and I find that kind of thinking pretty narrow minded.
Foreign films come in every genre and they offer a fresh perspective that cannot be matched by english speaking films. How do I know this? Well, I know this because more often than not, when a foreign film is snapped up and reproduced in english, it is usually absolute shit, or at best just a whitewashed version of something that has already been done really well and should have been left alone. I do make an exception to that rule for The Departed, 12 Monkeys, and Brothers, everything else though...absolutely unnecessary, just see the original foreign film for goodness sake!
I think that by now I have clearly established my love of foreign cinema, and if you are one of those people who is hesitant to embark on a culturally enlightening and magical foreign film journey, then here is a list of  my top 20 favorite foreign movies to kick start your subtitled adventures. I absolutely  guarantee that these movies are all gems! 

1. Pan's Labyrinth (Spanish) -  fantasy (5 Chilli Peppers) 
2. The Great Beauty (Italian) - drama (5 Chilli Peppers) 
3. Roma (Mexican) - drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
4. The Bicycle Thief (Italian) - drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
5. Jean de Florette and Manon des Source - (French) period drama (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
6. Blancanieves (Spanish) - fantasy (4.5 Chilli Peppers) 
7. The Wages of Fear - (French) drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
8. The Tunnel (South Korean) - suspense (4 Chilli Peppers)
9. Run Lola Run (German) - action/ sci-fi (4 Chilli Peppers) 
10. La Femme Nikita (French) - action (4 Chilli Peppers) 
11. In the Mood for Love (Chinese) - romance (4 Chilli Peppers) 
12. Downfall (German) - war (4 Chilli Peppers)
13. Amelie (French) - romance/ fantasy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
14. Kung Fu Hustle (Chinese) - action/ comedy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
15. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Chinese/ Taiwanese) - action/fantasy (4 Chilli Peppers) 
16. Cinema Paradiso (Italian)  - drama (4 Chilli Peppers)
17. Amores Perros (Mexican) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers) 
18. Dogtooth (Greek) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers) 
19. Oldboy (South Korean) - gritty (4 Chilli Peppers)  
20. Life is Beautiful (Italian) - war (4 Chilli Peppers) 

And they're only the ones that scored 4 Chilli Peppers or more, and trust me when I say that there's plenty more where that came from! Head over to my foreign genre lists for more subtitled treasures to enjoy or to check out any of the full reviews of the films listed above, happy subtitle reading! 

I love women, I think that they are just amazing. Super resilient, smart, courageous and able to deliver new life into the world, women have really got it all going on! When it comes to feminism I very loudly approve. I am willing to march for other women, fight for women's equality and give anyone that says that women aren't as good, worthy or adept as men a very stern fuck off! Basically, I support feminism and equal rights for women on every front, but lately I have noticed that feminism has taken a rather strange turn. 
Lately, I have noticed that statements like 'lack of sisterhood' have been used to shame some women when they aren't willing to support every other woman on the planet. Some stupid and ridiculous women are actually expecting that just because we all have vaginas that we should be part of a 'sisterhood' that supports each other no matter what! And to that concept I say - no way!  Why do I say that? Well because, some women are quite frankly dreadful human beings. They say terrible things, they do terrible things and they do not deserve to be supported by other women. In short, some women are not doing anything to make the women's equal rights movement any stronger and they are not nice people.
Any woman that expects other women to look a certain way, or endorses a product that holds women to unrealistic standards or props up bullshit prejudices and narrow-mindedness in men, is not someone that I am going to call my sister. I will not support women that demonstrate bias, bitch about other women in derogatory ways or perform any services or acts that take away from women being perceived as equal, worthy or important. This doesn't mean that I don't value feminism or sisterhood or think that we should not support other women. What it does mean is that I hold all women accountable for their behaviours, just as I do for men, and if you're a horrible women then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to support you just because we both have the same genitals.  A vagina is not a Get Out of Jail Free Card!
There is a huge difference between feminism and being accountable, and no genuine feminist would ever seek to gain power through shame or manipulation. Feminists do not expect women to fit a certain mould or hate men,  feminists just want equal rights, and that I do support wholeheartedly. I will not support women that constantly put men down, imply that they are stupid or insinuate that all men are shithouse. Not all men are shithouse, and saying that does not make me anti-feminist. Not all women are nice either, and that also doesn't make me anti-feminist, it makes me a realist and I am only going to support what I believe to be sensical, fair and equitable.
Where has our common sense gone on this topic? There can never be a sisterhood if some sisters are actually the equivalent of the ebola virus for feminism. Sorry ladies, you're actually not all fabulous, some of you are just horrid, insidious, manipulative turds that are a smear on the face of feminism. Fortunately, there aren't too many of you and for the most part women are, as I said earlier, completely bloody amazing and capable of doing anything that they put their minds to.

I am always so surprised when people tell me that they get bored. Who gets bored these day? It is such a weird and incomprehensible thing for me to fathom because I honestly cannot remember the last time that I felt slightly bored. With so many interesting things to do and so many things that simply must be done, I rarely have that much free downtime as it is, and when I do have it, I can assure you that I am never, ever bored. 
You don't have to have a million hobbies or be profoundly busy to distract yourself from boredom, in fact there are so many things that you can do with your downtime that are not only enjoyable but also super productive as well. Here is a list of my personal favourite boredom beaters, as well as some other ideas that I haven't even had the time to have a crack at yet.  
​If should ever find yourself with some free time and nothing to do with it, then I suggest that you take a look at this list: 

• Learn a new skill, language or hobby.
• Read a book. 
• Listen to a podcast.
• Schedule appointments at the doctor, masseuse, dentist, salon etc. 
• Work out. 
• Go for a walk.
• Bake.
• Learn to play an instrument. 
• Set yourself a new personal goal (in detail with all of the steps) and get busy making it happen.
• Start a blog.
• Watch a movie or TV series.
• Write in a journal.
• Go through your old photos and make up some memory albums.
• Revise your budget.
• Do yoga. 
• Visit a local tourist attraction.
• Volunteer.
• Knit, sew or crochet something. 
• Declutter your home. 
• Play a game, either a board game or a console game. 
• Make plans to catch up with friends or family somewhere new. 
• Take an online course.
• Start meditating.
• Clean out your inbox and unsubscribe to emails.
• Create a vision board. 
• Write a meal plan and a shopping list to go with it. 
• Clean out your wardrobe.
• Paint a picture or color in a mindful coloring book.
• Reconnect with people you haven't seen in while eg. email, text, call. 
• Plan a holiday.
• Update your resume.
• Go to the cinema. 
• Call a long distance friend or family member for a chat.
• Watch an inspiring Ted Talk. 
• Perform a random act of kindness. 
• Clean out your pantry and fridge.
• Practise self care eg. take a bath, exfoliate, give yourself a facial, pedicure or manicure. 
• Cook a new dish.
• Start a veggie or floral garden.
• Pick up a camera and start shooting.
• Visit the local library. 
• Make a craft or fold origami. 
• Find a youtube channel that interests you and follow it. 
• Donate to charity. 

I know that there is nothing actually wrong with being bored from time to time, sometimes it can actually be a good thing because it motivates us to try new things. But it's just generally so grey, melancholic and unproductive that I don't think that anyone would actually choose to be bored. Besides from what I have seen and learnt about boredom over the years, I think that it can lead people down some pretty strange and even destructive roads if it goes on for too long. What's that old saying about 'idle hands and the devils work'? I can't say for sure that being productive or unbored will actually keep anyone out of trouble, but it will certainly leave less time for anyone to find it!  

So many people are getting sick at the moment, and it's easy to understand why when the weather is constantly freezing and the wind chill factor makes your fingers, toes and face ache. Even Craig, who rarely if ever gets sick, has a runny nose, sore throat and even gravelier than usual rattle to his speech. The kids at my school appear to have various things leaking out of a variety of orifices and a number of the staff are looking a little worse for wear in spite of just returning from a winter holiday break. But that is July in Ballarat for you - cold, freezing, freezing cold or Tundra, and if you don't like cold weather then moving here would be the stupidest idea in the world. 
A common misconception about Australia is that we have nothing but hot weather. I think that a lot of foreigner visitors expect that since we have so much desert that we are going to be sweltering hot all year round, but that is just not the case. I cannot deny that summers are actually pretty hot all over the country, with the exception of Tasmania which never seems to get over 35 degrees celsius. And I know that 35 degrees celcius may sound hot to some people, but when it comes to Australian summers, 35 is considered the ideal.
In summer it genuinely does get hot, really, really hot. I have seen roads literally melting into sticky tar puddles and desperate snakes searching for water in very open and risky areas in the summertime and it is nothing to get a string of 45+ degree days that make you intensely worried about bushfires when you live in the outlying bush areas.
However, contrary to popular opinions about Australia, it doesn't stay like that all year round and some areas are frickin freezing and even snowy in the winter time. Ballarat is one of those areas and if you're from another more temperate area of the country, the weather here can seem brutally cold and the winters intolerably long. It seems brutally cold and intolerably long to me, and I have lived in the area for over 30 years, but to be truthful I do this every year. I whinge about the cold in the dark of winter and I complain about melting at the peak of summer, but at the end of the day I have very good heating and cooling, and absolutely nothing to whine about at all. I even had my hot water system die this winter and guess what?I lived! Okay, I stank a lot too, but I did survive until I could pin down a plumber to sort out my problem. 
​I think that if you have your health you can face just about anything really, and that's why I really don't want to catch another dreaded lurgy right now, I've already had one of those this year and I hated it! I can totally deal with the wind, the ice and even the snow but please, please don't let me get another lurgy!
Sidenote: I'm already regretting putting that much energy into the sickness topic now, it's a bloody recipe for disaster! I'm just asking for trouble! 

Most people have suffered from some form of anxiety in their lives, some more severe than others, but we all know what it feels like to be anxious, worried or stressed. Unfortunately, anxiety is not something that many people would feel comfortable to admit to having because we all feel so much pressure to appear 'put together.' No-one wants to seem like they haven't got their shit together because we all exist in the same world, a world that praises high achievers and snubs failure. It's a social status quo and we are all expected to adhere to the unspoken parametres within that expectation, but for people with anxiety it can be very challenging to keep it all together without sacrificing their overall wellbeing. 
Chronic anxiety sufferers are usually acutely aware of their condition and are often medicated and/or professionally supported to manage their stress levels, but high functioning anxiety sufferers can go completely unnoticed and may not even be aware that they have anxiety themselves. Unchecked high functioning anxiety sufferers can develop into chronic sufferers if they don't receive proper treatment or intervention. It is therefore extremely important for everyone to be aware of the signs and symptoms of high functioning anxiety so that they can identify when others may require support, or if they are suffering from any unchecked symptoms themselves. 
1. Hair pulling and skin picking
This is a very typical sign in anxiety sufferers. Nail biting, picking the skin around nails, cracking knuckles, biting the inside of their mouth or pacing around are all physically signs that the sufferer is attempting to release anxiety. 
2. Lying in Bed Awake
Anxiety sufferers have sleep problems because they cannot shut off their minds, ongoing sleep deprivation will only escalate a sufferers anxiety levels if it goes unchecked. 
3. Experience Racing Thoughts
Another common symptom of anxiety sufferers is compulsive overthinking, they will think about things far into the future and even go through several scenarios in their minds. They will struggle to unwind or shut down after a working day. 
4. Overplanning
Extensive to-do lists, over-researching topics, planning the week ahead in extreme detail and over packing for simple excursions are all signs that a person is dealing with anxiety.
5. Counting
Anxious people often count items in a room, like lights on the roof or tiles on a floor in an attempt to quiet their racing mind. 
6. Engaging in Rituals
Just like counting, needing things to be competed in a ritualistic form are ways of releasing anxiety. However, often the rituals become so ingrained that they actually elevate a sufferers anxiety levels when they become obsessive. 
7. Procrastinating
Many high functioning anxiety sufferers are also perfectionists, so they will procrastinate things that may feel like they are not up to completing successfully. 
8. Writing Dozens of Notes
Anxiety sufferers will want to write everything down in an attempt to stay in control. They will have Post-it notes plastered everywhere, it makes them feel like they have increased their bandwidth for higher performance. 
9. Over-Organising
Creating systems of predictability decreases anxiety for sufferers. They will want a clear schedule when they are taken out of their usual environment and they prefer to design that themselves. 
10. Unexplained aches and soreness in muscles
This is because anxiety sufferers tend to tighten up involuntarily which can lead to a sore neck, back and shoulders. They may need to see their physiotherapist more as a consequence.

As I mentioned earlier, we have all suffered from some form of anxiety in our lives and if you suffer from one or two of these symptoms occasionally then you probably don't really have anything to worry about. However, if you can relate to more than half of these symptoms, then you may be suffering from high functioning anxiety. So, if you feel like any of your symptoms are holding you back from feeling happy or being more fulfilled, then it is probably time for you to talk to a therapist about some treatment and strategies to help you manage your anxiety levels. Remember, unchecked high functioning anxiety can lead to more serious health complications down the track if it is left untreated, so if you are concerned about your stress or anxiety levels get some professional advice and support as soon as you can. 

​IT FOLLOWS
Release Date: 2015
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 100 mins 
When it comes to creepy as hell concepts, this film wins hands down. Directed and written by David Robert Mitchell, It Follows is a smart and original horror that will make even the toughest horror fans edgy with it's fast building paranoia. 
19 year old Jay has the worst sexual encounter possible, discovering soon after that her sexual partner has passed on to her an insidious and relentless being that follows it's prey day and night until it destroys them. The only way to get rid of this follower is to have sex with someone else and then they become the followed, however, if they should be killed by it, then it automatically transfers itself back to the last in line. 
This is terrifically atmospheric horror, working on multiple levels and rife with tension and anxiety. The story plays out well, with a cast of virtually unknown youngsters all behaving convincingly horrified and concerned, and the overall feeling that you are left with is one of unease, what more could you ask for when it comes to horror? 
FINAL SAY: It could look like someone you know, or it could be a stranger in a crowd.
4 Chilli Peppers

I have this little daily inspirations magnet on my fridge at home. Everyday you tear off a page to get a dose of daily zen and sometimes the messages that I get really speak to me and even set me up for a day of happy, positive thinking with their inspirational quotes and ideas. Today when I tore off the little sheet of paper I saw this:
                              Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.
                                            SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
Now I am all about living in the moment, which is pretty much my personal mantra, but neither seek nor avoid? Come on, that's extreme! I am all for counting your blessings and finding bliss in what you have, but I don't think that we should just settle. Life, the world, everything around us is in constant movement, if we just stop seeking and avoiding, we will more than likely just stand still and nothing will progress. Seeking is what makes us hungry, it's what makes us discover and invent, it's what changes us and motivates us. Sometimes not seeking a better option or looking around for new ideas is really just demonstrative of a lack of motivation, and that's definitely not a virtue in my books. How are you supposed to grow if you are not supposed to seek? That's called marinating my friends, and it's not ideal. And how does a person just stop being curious anyway? It's human nature to be curious, and I don't think that it is 'unzen' to want to look around sometimes. 
And what about not avoiding? I have even bigger issues with that one. Obviously one should always avoid a head on collision with a truck or getting an addiction to crack, and I am aware that the Swami wasn't being that literal when he said 'don't avoid', but there are a lot of other things that one should avoid in life in that it would be just plain stupid not to. Like avoiding unnecessary conflict, harsh words, arguments and being involved in any kind of shitty talk about other people. Also it's definitely a good idea to avoid being rude, ignorant, racist, sexist, insensitive...shall I go on? If you just go into everything in the world blindly or without a care for anyone else because you're on the 'neither seek nor avoid, take what comes' life mantra, odds are you're just asking for trouble and trouble will find you, and then you'll just have to accept that too! If the human race didn't avoid sometimes, there would be constant war and unrest in the world, sometimes avoiding trouble or danger is not only smart it's extremely wise and necessary to getting along. 
I just cannot abide by Swami Vivekananda's questionably sage theory if I am being honest because I actually believe that in certain circumstances, taking what comes without question or without using your common sense is really stupid and will only lead to disaster. We are supposed to seek, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes and therefore avoid what we know is disastrous, and we are not meant to just blindly take whatever is dished out to us, because we all deserve better than that. 
I am certainly no Swami, but if I was asked to give my version of the that inspirational quote to be put into a daily zen calendar it would probably say something a little more like this:
    Seek what you need to feel sated, avoid what is unnecessary and unkind,                                      and don't take anything too seriously or for granted. 
                                                         GURU SPICYWATCH 

SEVEN SAMURAI
Release Date: 1954
Rating: PG
Running Time: 207 mins
A Japanese action- adventure film co-written, edited and directed by Akira Kurosawa. Seven Samurai has truly stood the test of time and is still regarded as one of the most highly influential, remade, reworked and referenced films in cinema. I must admit that I felt completely bound to see this film because it kept turning up on so many people's must see lists, I knew that I must have been missing something important, and I was because this is an amazing period action movie, that deserves at least one viewing in everyone's life time. 
Set in 1586 during the Warring States Period of Japan, a village of local farmers hire seven ronin (masterless samurai) to combat a group of thieving bandits that have been ravaging their crops and terrorizing their families for years. 
Seven Samurai is not reliant on gore or effects to depict it's action scenes, there is a real sense of cavalry and style being used here that really enhances the overall effect of the film. As one of the only movies on Rotten Tomatoes to get a full 100% certified fresh rating, this film has just the right mix of everything to keep you interested and engaged, and at over three hours running time, that's really saying something! 
FINAL SAY: Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Even the most secure people in the world need to be reassured from time to time, it's human to seek validation and it is not weak to admit that you require some reassured from time to time. I know that every now and then I like to be told that I'm doing okay, that I'm a good person and that I'm completely lovable, and when I don't receive any validation for a while, I start to listen to my persistent and annoying inner voice of self doubt, and then I start to stumble. 
I wasn't raised in a very validating home as a child. Behavioural expectations were high, imperfections were highlighted and opportunities to 'cut one down to size' were used as an everyday form of punishment and embarrassment. Unfortunately, these less than encouraging formative years have had a profound effect on who I have become as an adult, and as a consequence, I have had to severely escalated my efforts to break certain molds and cycles and find a sense of self assurance.
In the past, I have been rejected by my parents because they didn't like my behaviour, I have lost friends who thought that I wasn't worth the effort and my own siblings have all estranged me because they've perceived me to be unlovable and mean. As you would imagine, these things have had a massive effect on my life and have made me quite insecure. I have struggled all my life to feel accepted, comfortable and secure with who I am.
I have poured unknowable hours of my time into self help, self motivation and self care in an attempt to quench my need for acceptance and love, but sometimes you can only get the type of reassurance that you are really looking for from the people around you. There is no book, guide, meditation, fitness class, job or other external thing that can replace someone that you love telling you that they also love you and think that you're amazing. And that is a fact, we all need to feel like we are loved by someone and that we are perfect just the way that we are. It is not just reassuring, it's downright empowering to love and be loved in return, it's the best feeling in the world to know that there is someone on the planet that adores you in some way, shape or form for just being who you are. 
The bottom line is that none of us are completely self-sufficient, even though many of us pretend to be. However, the best thing that all of my self help attempts has taught me over the years is that the most insecure people in the world are those that cannot acknowledge their fears and insecurities, and that pretending to have it all together when you don't is not only stupid, it's also counterproductive to moving forward.  
So now, when I feel like I'm floundering, I just tell people. I spill out the stupid in my head and I say out loud - I need some reassurance. And it is totally okay to say that. No-one feels fabulous all of the time, and sometimes a simple word of reassurance from someone that you care about can be enough to get you back on track and fight off that self deprecating voice inside of you that can be doggedly determined to convince you otherwise.
No-one has to break out the accolades, send in the marching band or shroud me with words of praise in order to reassure me, a simple - I think you're important and I care about you is really all that it takes to reboot my system. But sometimes I need to hear it, and as corny and as silly as that may sound to admit, I just need to hear it. I'm human and sometimes I need some reassurance, and you know, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with admitting that. 

This holiday period has not come without it's own unique set of challenges. I am never really sure if it is a good thing for the wheels to drop off during a down period so that I have the time to properly deal with things, or if it only serves to rob me of some much needed down time. However, regardless of how I choose to perceive these inconveniences makes them no less real or prevalent in my life, so I choose to just face them head on and continue to search for the hidden silver linings in these hiccups of the human condition. 
What it has meant is that I have had less free time and also less money to splurge on the frivolous and fun things, but c'est la vie....like all things in life these moments of challenge are impermanent and constantly moving and won't last forever. You have to stay firmly rooted in the 'milk and honey' aspects of your life when you find yourself wrangling with darker days like these. Luckily,  I still have a lot of milk and honey in my life, so it is easy for me to be distracted by love, good company and humour. And it is in these moments of realisation about my blessings and good fortunes that I ponder how people that do not have these things still manage to find their milk and honey during the difficult times. 
It is easy not to drown when you have a life vest, a flotation buoy and a rescue boat coming to get you, but what do you do if you don't have those things in your life? Not everyone is as fortunate in life as I am, so where do they go when the world grows dims and the days feel darker? Clearly for people without good support units around them, things can get rather grim when life seems insurmountably difficult; but all hope is never totally lost because there is always help available if you know where to look for it. 
Aside from trying to expand your support networks, which can be ridiculous difficult for some people and sharpening your own coping skills, which again is easier said than done, there is always a voice of reason that can be reached out to when things get too big and the world gets too loud.
You don't need to have a life full of milk and honey to find a shoulder to lean on, a friendly voice or a helping hand that will pull you up when you feel like you can't lift yourself up, and the great news is that Australia has one of the best help lines in the world for this kind of thing. Lifeline (PH: 131114) is available 24 hours a day 7 days a week with experienced counsellors and it's free and completely confidential.  And no, lifeline is not just for people that want to commit suicide, it's for anyone in crisis that feels like they need someone to talk to or confide  in. 
Many people without adequate support don't reach out for help because they think that their problems may not be significant enough, but anyone in need without adequate support is significant enough. The counsellors at lifeline, regardless of a callers age, gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation are there to listen, provide immediate support, offer strategies and options and provide  referrals that can assist with moving forward.
We all need someone to lean on from time to time, there is no shame in crawling sometimes or admitting that you are finding things hard. Bottom line is that life sometimes is hard, really bloody hard and if you don't have a support network around you, just remember that you are not alone and you do not have to do anything on your own. There is always help out there and your problems are more than important enough to tap into them, so please don't struggle on alone; reach out, open up, share the load and please, please.... get some help. 

PIN CUSHION
Release Date: 2017
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
When odd Iona and her hunchback mother Lyn relocate to a new town, they are both optimistic for a  fresh start and hoping to integrate into their new community and make new friends. Unfortunately, their naivety about just how vicious, exclusive and unpleasant bored suburban housewives and attention seeking teenagers can be, causes them to crumble. 
Written and directed by Deborah Haywood, Pin Cushion completely assaults your senses with it's onslaught of awkward coming of age interludes, cruel and manipulative behaviours and it's agonisingly emotional struggle for acceptance. Joanna Scanlan is amazing as the well meaning social pariah Lyn, and Lily Newmark is perfectly awkward as the 'desperate to be liked' teenager Iona. 
This is truly heartbreaking stuff and at times it is quite hard to watch. Pin Cushion openly explores the many facets of a mother-daughter relationship within a single parent dynamic and explores issues of loneliness, isolation, bullying and co-dependence in ways that cannot be ignored. 
FINAL SAY: It's not just children that can bully in relentlessly cruel ways. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

One of the things that I do enjoy most about a mid-winter break is the ability to catch up on some late night viewing and couch potato antics without any guilty feelings whatsoever. Not having to get up and go to work in the morning allows me to indulge in the pleasure of watching entire seasons of television programs and back to back movies, and honestly it is just heaven. With a good strong coffee in hand, a couple of fluffed up pillows and a cosy blanket, I have managed to wonderfully while away many of my holiday evenings in front of the idiot box and I am more than happy to share my joyful at home viewing highlights with you, should you also wish to indulge in some quality lounge room viewing. 

As far as television goes, there has been no shortage of high quality, engaging programming to get completely lost in this year. I have watched a tonne of television this year, more than I ever have before and a lot of it has been of a really high standard as well. The best that I have seen and would highly recommend so far this year are: (in no particular order) 
Escape at Dannemora (Stan) - dramatisation
Sally 4Ever (HBO - Foxtel) - comedy
After Life (Netflix) - comedy drama
Les Miserables (BBC - Foxtel) - period drama
Game of Thrones - S8 (HBO - Foxtel) - fantasy drama
American Gods S2 (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
What We Do in the Shadows (FX - Foxtel) - horror comedy 
This Country (Stan) - comedy mockumentary 
Forever (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Killing Eve s2 (ABC iview) - crime drama
The Last O.G. S2 (Stan) - comedy 
The Let Down S2 (ABC iview) - comedy 
Bad Omens (Amazon Prime) - fantasy drama
Detectorists S3 (ABC iview)  - comedy 
Gentleman Jack (HBO - Foxtel) - period drama
Bridget & Eamon (Amazon Prime) - comedy 
Euphoria (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Chernobyl (HBO - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
The Act: Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose (Hulu - Foxtel) - dramatisation 
Perpetual Grace (Stan) - art house 
Big Little Lies S2 (HBO - Foxtel) - drama
Stranger Things S3 (Netflix)  - science fiction

To be honest, quality movies to view at home have been a little thinner on the ground, but it is often quite hard for me to find things that I haven't already seen on streaming channels because I go to the movies so often. Seth and I have been trawling through a lot of classic horror, which SBS on demand has an excellent selection of, should you need to sate a yearning for retro horror like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Hellraiser or Scanners. Aside from that Amazon Prime has the largest B grade horror library that I have ever encountered, admittedly it is mostly shit, but you can find the odd retro gem in there as well like Night of the Living Dead, Carrie,  Zombieland and the Friday the 13th Series. 
However, without further ado, here is a list of the best movies that I have watched on the couch (not at the cinema) this year so far: (again listed in no particular order)
Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool - Netflix (Romance) 
It's Actually a Funny Story - Netflix (Drama)
Suspiria - Amazon Prime (Horror) 
Hush - Netflix (Horror) 
Tully - Netflix (Drama)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Stan (Gritty) 
Observance - Amazon Prime (Horror)
American Animals - Foxtel (Crime) 
I am Mother - Netflix (Sci-Fi) 
Pin Cushion - SBS on demand (Gritty) 
Mandy - Foxtel (Horror) 
Full reviews of all of these films can be found on the corresponding genre lists in the drop down menu above if you're looking for more information.
Happy viewing my friends! 

Thick girls get so many mixed messages, it is just ridiculous! I am certainly not what you would call a small lady, in fact I regularly call myself chubby, because truth is, I am. I wear size 16 clothes, I have loads of curves, I have a noticeable belly, I have cellulite and if I was ever to wear lycra I would probably look like the caterpillar out of A Bug's Life because I have fat rolls. However, contrary to what anyone wishes to think when they look at me, I am not ashamed of my body. I do not hate my curves, I do not get offended if someone calls be chubby and do not think that being thin is better than being thick.
I have been many shapes and sizes in my life and because of that I also know without a doubt that people do treat you better, give you more compliments and pay more attention to you when you are thinner. It is an unfortunate and completely unfair truth, but believe me, it is true. I think that it is great that we are seeing more body shapes in the media today and that there are some truly empowered larger ladies flying the flag for curvy lasses everywhere, but I know that as a society we still have a long way to go when it comes to accepting weight and body shape. 
As a thick lady, I feel like I am constantly bombarded with pressure and mixed messages about ideal weight, perfect health and genuine beauty, and it's so annoying. On one side there is this ideal Hollywood Chic body type aka 'the media spotlight woman' and a lot of women feel compelled to aspire to be like her. She's wafer thin and cinched in tightly. She has immaculate nails and hair and always looks perfectly polished, but if you hugged this lady it would probably feel like grasping a skin sack filled with knives and forks; lots of pointy stuff! Women think she's beautiful and men think she's sophisticated and high maintenance aka out of their league!
Then on the other side you have the self empowered Ashley Graham types who are shouting out 'embrace your beautiful curvy body' from the rooftops. They are genuinely thick but they are also very good looking so they get a lot of media coverage. Some of them certainly work hard to stop body shaming in very narrow minded industries like modelling, but are they really reaching the average Joe's of the world with their message? 
And what do you do if you don't fit into either of those cateogories? What if you are not Hollywood thin and you also aren't empowered by your curves, because your curves aren't necessarily in the right places like Iska Lawrence and you aren't stunningly good looking? What then? How are you supposed to love your body and your curves when no-one that is in the public eye that looks like you is celebrating how they look? Trust me when I say that this is a real dilemma for thick people, because I have been reading a lot on the topic and there is a genuine plea for everyday curvy lovelies to  get more media time.
And look, I'm not an idiot, I know that thin women also suffer the same anxieties over their bodies and not looking like they're 'supposed to' as well, but thick girls get treated like shit a lot more for not fitting the mold and it's just an unfortunate truth. However, it would seem that today the 'perfect' female body type is actually the least accessible body type that we have ever encountered before in history. To feel like you are meeting the feminine ideal these days, women need to be curvy, but only if they are in the right places like the boobs and the butt, definitely not around the tummy or the thighs. They need to be fit and toned in the arms and legs, but not too muscular that they don't look vulnerable and they also need to have sensual full lips, absolutely no wrinkles, perfectly manicured nails and long lustrous hair.
Thanks Kim Kardashian, you've made the world so much easier for women everywhere! Your so called 'thick girl empowerment' is complete and utter bullshit, and what you really need is a good hard slap! Truth is, the Kardashians and Minaj's of the world have really not helped women out at all when it comes to body shaming and physical empowerment. What they have done though is created a completely new, inaccessible and totally unrealistic model for men to ogle at and women to compare themselves to and aspire to become; and let's be honest, that is dreadfully sad! 
What we really need to see more of in the media are healthy, happy and awake women. Women that don't feel like they need to fit into a mold to be complete, women that don't prescribe to the pressures of unrealistic female 'ideal' standards and women that genuinely don't care about shallow things like weight, skin, hair, clothes and nails. Because all women, thick, thin and every other size and shape in between and outside of that, deserve to feel good about themselves. There isn't a woman on this planet that hasn't been told at one time or another that it's what's inside that counts, but there a billions of women in the world that have no idea how to practise that. Don't be one of those women; don't judge, don't shame and most importantly don't forget to celebrate that you are more than enough, that you are special and that you are most definitely perfect just the way you are.