The Emmy awards were held last Monday, which I was again fortunate enough to be at home to enjoy - Hazar! This year was the first time that a big awards ceremony was held remotely due to COVID19 and I have to say that although yes, it wasn't as good as the usual extravaganza of glitz and glamour that we have come to expect from the Emmy's, however given the circumstances it was still really enjoyable and completely watchable. Hosted by Jimmy Kimmel who apparently said "I don't know where we will do this or how we will do this or even why we are doing this, but we are doing it and I am hosting it" when he found out that the Emmy's were still going ahead in spite of the worldwide pandemic. And seriously, why shouldn't it go ahead? We need a little bit of celebration and frivolity right now and I always appreciate a good awards ceremony regardless of the format. 
Anyway, it was Schitt's Creek's night for sure when they won an incredible and completely deserving nine Emmy's in total and broke the record for the most wins in a single season for a comedy. And having seen almost all of the TV programs that won, I can definitely say that every winner was deserving and I was not surprised to see that Succession and Watchmen blitz the evening as well because they were easily two of my favourite TV programs of the year. 
And just in case you missed them, here are the nominations and winners of the 2020 Emmy Awards:
Outstanding comedy series

• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Dead to Me
• The Good Place
• Insecure
• The Kominsky Method
• The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• WINNER: Schitt's Creek
• What We Do in the Shadows

Outstanding drama series

• Better Call Saul
• The Crown
• The Handmaid's Tale
• Killing Eve
• The Mandalorian
• Ozark
• Stranger Things
• WINNER: Succession

Outstanding limited series

• Little Fires Everywhere
• Mrs. America
• Unbelievable
• Unorthodox
• WINNER: Watchmen

Lead actor in a comedy series

• Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
• Don Cheadle, Black Monday
• Ted Danson, The Good Place
• Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method
• WINNER: Eugene Levy, Schitt's Creek
• Ramy Youssef, Ramy

Lead actress in a comedy series

• Christina Applegate, Dead to Me
• Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel
• Linda Cardellini, Dead to Me
• WINNER: Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek
• Issa Rae, Insecure
• Tracee Ellis Ross, Black-ish

Supporting actor in a comedy series

• Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
• William Jackson Harper, The Good Place
• Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
• Sterling K. Brown, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Mahershala Ali, Ramy
• Kenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live
• WINNER: Dan Levy, Schitt's Creek

Supporting actress in a comedy series

• Betty Gilpin, GLOW
• D'Arcy Carden, The Good Place
• Yvonne Orji, Insecure
• Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Marin Hinkle, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
• Cecily Strong, Saturday Night Live
• WINNER: Annie Murphy, Schitt's Creek

Lead actor in a drama series

• Jason Bateman, Ozark
• Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us
• Steve Carell, The Morning Show
• Brian Cox, Succession
• Billy Porter, Pose
• WINNER: Jeremy Strong, Succession

Lead actress in a drama series

• Jennifer Aniston, The Morning Show
• Olivia Colman, The Crown
• Jodie Comer, Killing Eve
• Laura Linney, Ozark
• Sandra Oh, Killing Eve
• WINNER: Zendaya, Euphoria

Supporting actor in a drama series

• Giancarlo Esposito, Better Call Saul
• Bradley Whitford, The Handmaid's Tale
• WINNER: Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
• Mark Duplass, The Morning Show
• Nicholas Braun, Succession
• Kieran Culkin, Succession
• Matthew Macfadyen, Succession
• Jeffrey Wright, Westworld

Supporting actress in a drama series

• Laura Dern, Big Little Lies
• Meryl Streep, Big Little Lies
• Helena Bonham Carter, The Crown
• Samira Wiley, The Handmaid's Tale
• Fiona Shaw , Killing Eve
• WINNER: Julia Garner, Ozark
• Sarah Snook, Succession
• Thandie Newton, Westworld

Lead actor in a limited series or movie

• Jeremy Irons, Watchmen
• Hugh Jackman, Bad Education
• Paul Mescal, Normal People
• Jeremy Pope, Hollywood
• WINNER: Mark Ruffalo, I Know This Much Is True

Lead actress in a limited series or movie

• Cate Blanchett, Mrs. America
• Shira Haas, Unorthodox
• WINNER: Regina King, Watchmen
• Octavia Spencer, Self Made
• Kerry Washington, Little Fires Everywhere

Supporting actor in a limited series or movie

• Dylan McDermott, Hollywood
• Jim Parsons, Hollywood
• Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. the Reverend
• WINNER: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Watchmen
• Jovan Adepo, Watchmen
• Louis Gossett Jr, Watchmen

Supporting actress in a limited series or movie

• Holland Taylor, Hollywood
• WINNER: Uzo Aduba, Mrs. America
• Margo Martindale, Mrs. America
• Tracey Ullman, Mrs. America
• Toni Collette, Unbelievable
• Jean Smart, Watchmen

Outstanding reality competition series

• The Masked Singer
• Nailed It
• WINNER: RuPaul's Drag Race
• Top Chef
• The Voice

Outstanding variety talk series

• Daily Show with Trevor Noah
• Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
• Jimmy Kimmel Live
• WINNER: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
• Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Outstanding variety sketch series

• A Black Lady Sketch Show
• Drunk History
• WINNER: Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Television movie

• American Son
• WINNER: Bad Education
• Dolly Parton's Heartstrings: These Old Bones
• El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
• Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend

Writing for a comedy series

• WINNER: Daniel Levy, Schitt's Creek
• David West Read, Schitt's Creek
• Michael Schur, The Good Place
• Tony McNamara, The Great
• Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil, What We Do In The Shadows
• Paul Simms, What We Do In The Shadows
• Stefani Robinson, What We Do In The Shadows

Writing for a drama series

• Thomas Schnauz, Better Call Saul
• Thomas Schnauz,
• Gordon Smith, Better Call Saul
• Peter Morgan, The Crown
• Chris Mundy, Ozark
• John Shiban, Ozark
• Miki Johnso, Ozark
• WINNER: Jesse Armstrong, Succession

Writing for a limited series, movie or drama

• Tanya Barfield, Mrs. America
• Sally Rooney and Alice Birch, Normal People
• Susannah Grant, Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon, Unbelievable
• Anna Winger, Unorthodox
• WINNER: Damon Lindelof and Cord Jefferson, Watchmen

Director for a comedy series

• Matt Shakman, The Great
• Amy Sherman-Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Daniel Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Gail Mancuso, Modern Family • Finale Part 2
• Ramy Youssef, Ramy
• WINNER: Andrew Cividino and Daniel Levy, Schitt's Creek
• James Burrows, Will & Grace

Directing for a drama series

• Benjamin Caron, The Crown
• Jessica Hobbs, The Crown
• Lesli Linka Glatter, Homeland
• Mimi Leder, The Morning Show Mimi Leder,
• Alik Sakharov, Ozark
• Ben Semanoff, Ozark
• WINNER: Andrij Parekh, Succession
• Mark Mylod, Succession

Directing for a limited series

• Lynn Shelton, Little Fires Everywhere
• Lenny Abrahamson, Normal People
• WINNER: Maria Schrader, Unorthodox
• Nicole Kassell, Watchmen
• Steph Green, Watchmen
• Stephen Williams, Watchmen

ENOLA HOLMES 
Release Date: 2020
Rating: M
Running Time: 123 mins 
A crime/mystery period film based on the first book in the series of the same name by Nancy Springer which focuses on the adventures of Enola Holmes, teenage sister of already famous crime investigator Sherlock Holmes. Enola Holmes was distributed by Netflix streaming services when they acquired the rights for distribution from Warner Bros. because of the COVID-19 pandemic. 
Raised to be carefree and headstrong by her free spirited mother, teenager Enola Holmes becomes distressed when her mother goes missing in the middle of the night without explanation. An attempt to enlist the help of her two older brothers Sherlock and Mycroft proves disastrous, so Enola takes matters into her own hands and sets off to discover what happened to her mother for herself. 
I cannot deny that Millie Bobby Brown breathes some much needed fresh air into Baker Street with her effervescent and energic portrayal of Enola and she is definitely what makes this movie so delightful and enjoyable. She is however extremely well supported by Henry Cavill as Sherlock, Sam Claflin as Mycroft and Helena Bonham Carter as the mother of them all Eudoria Holmes. 
There is an infectious and intoxicating teenage energy to this movie that I really loved and I do hope that we will get to see further instalments of this series in the future. 
FINAL SAY: Sometimes you must dangle your feet in the water in order to attract the sharks. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Yesterday it snowed here, really snowed. Not just a light sprinkling but a genuine layer of snow on the ground. It actually snowed for around two and half hours without stopping which I think is the most that I have ever seen it snow anywhere before, except for that one time when I went skiing at Mount Hotham but you do expect it to snow a lot when you are skiing on a mountain. Anyway, it was really lovely and completely unexpected and best of all I was home to enjoy it. 
My son Seth was with me and at one point while we were both gazing out at the yard in complete raptures he turned to me and said 'God the world is an amazing place isn't it?' To which I had to reply, 'yes...yes it really is.' We sat there for a good 30 minutes not really saying anything, just basking in the wonder of that peaceful falling snow. It was so lovely and it got me thinking about all of the incredible things that I love most about the world, the little things that are easily taken for granted that actually make life pretty great. Little but not at all insignificant things like:

• Looking down on the clouds from a plane window.
• Laughing until you actually cry.
• Eating biscuits that are still warm from the oven. 
• Excellent coffee and a good book in bed on a Sunday morning. 
• The first tingle of sunshine on your shoulders in Summer. 
• Watching the snow fall outside from the comfort of your couch under a blanket. 
• Meditating with your cat napping in your lap. 
• The first BBQ of the Summer.
• Road trips with awesome people to places you've never been before. 
• New art supplies and blank canvases. 
• Eating a piece of fruit that you just picked off a tree, vine or bush. 
• Fresh linen, straight off the line and onto your bed. 
• Hearing a song that gets you or your mood. 
• Galleries, museums, parks and public gardens. 
• Watching electrical storms on the deck with a glass of good whiskey on a Summer night. 
• Meeting people who like the same movies/ TV and or music as you. 
• Smells that spark good memories of people or places. 
• Long, hot, 'thinking time' showers. 
• When the curtains open at the start of a theatre performance. 
• Sunsets, sunrises, full moons and starry nights. 
• A brand new journal at the beginning of a new year.
• Long dinners, cocktails and catch ups with friends. 
• Walking in deciduous forests in Autumn as the leaves fall around you. 
• Collecting wildflowers or wild mushrooms from the bush. 
• Cosy naps and recharging deep sleeps. 
• Watching a really sad movie and having a really good cry. 
• Kisses on the forehead and long hugs. 
• Remembering the really awesome dream that you had last night. 
• ​Laughing about an 'in' joke with a friend or family member. 
• The creak of big old trees moving around on windy days. 
• Looking through old photos with family members and reminiscing. 
• The way that the sand feels under your feet when you stand at the edge of the sea and let the waves roll over the tops of your feet. 

And let's not forget - 
Swings, photo booths, record players, really good croissants, ugg boots, freshly squeezed juice, flowers in the cracks of footpaths, fireworks, trees in blossom, vintage fashion, fresh bread with butter, flannelette PJ's, yoga, bonfires, antique jewellery, bubble baths, comfy sneakers, second hand book stalls, fresh pasta, Fridays, comfy pillows, getting tipsy, waterfalls and mixed lollies. 
Yes, yes and yes! The world really is an amazing place and all of the little things just it make it all the more awesome. I feel completely inspired after writing that list, so think I'll go and do something awesome right now!

I've never really been what someone would call 'one of the cool kids.' One of the weird kids maybe, one of the strange kids sure but definitely never one of the cool kids. And that wasn't because I didn't want to be one, I actually remember really wanting to be one, but I just never really reached that kind of social height or status. As you get older you realise more and more how little it actually means to be 'cool' and how much more amazing it is to be kind, generous,  thoughtful and loving. However, when you're a kid being cool means something completely different, it means being accepted, being 'looked up to' and being somewhat influential. 
The cool kids back in my time were what people today would call influencers. People listened to them, laughed at their jokes, wanted to be just like them and longed for the status that came with being 'cool.' The word cool isn't really even used anymore and kids today would cringe at the thought of being called cool. Cool has been replaced by words like edgy, dope, GOAT, lit and snatched, all of which come with completely different connotations. The cool of my time would be considered extremely basic my modern standards, you were either cool or you weren't and it was really just that simple. 
However, when I think back to the so called 'cool kids' of my time, a lot of them were actually not very nice people at all. A lot of them were actually raving assholes, teenage delinquents and mean girls. I did run with a few 'populars' for a while there in high school and it was easily the most bitchy, competitive and petty time of my entire life when I think back to it. I made some of my stupidest mistakes, took my biggest and most dangerous risks and in some ways probably sold out on who I really was for a little while there just to feel like I belonged in a clique. I also recall it being a really stressful time for me where I learnt to second guess myself and overthink every single thing that came out of my mouth. But I suppose that a lot of people would say similar things about their formative teenage years, a time when we often found ourselves doing and saying things that make us feel nauseous as an adult when we think back on it. I know without a shadow of doubt that my teenage years were less than brag worthy and rife with shitty choices. 
So what does 'being cool' mean to me these days? Well it's certainly a far cry from what I thought that it meant when I was 16. However, I do still find some people irresistibly cool but for much broader and more humanitarian reasons these days. I find people that are willing to stand in their own truth very cool, people that are willing to question the status quo in intelligent and not necessarily provocative ways also very cool and people that are just trying to be good or better versions of themselves extremely cool as well.
There are also some cool and influential famous people that I just can't get enough of like:

• David Lynch
• Eckhart Tolle
• Maya Rudolph
• Keanu Reeves
• Phoebe Waller-Bridge
• Olivia Coleman
• Taika Waititi
• Childish Gambino
• Ilana Glazer
• Nick Cave
• Reggie Watts
• Lena Dunham
• Jeff Goldblum
• Guillermo del Toro
• Ricky Gervais
• Joanna Lumley 

However, outside of fame and fortune, it turns out that I am truly blessed to have some of the most wonderful, cool, kind and considerate people in the world in my life right now. My family and friends are an eclectic bunch of gorgeous individuals who are not only inspirational and incredible company to be around, but are also way, way cooler than anyone else that I can think of or have known all of my life. So it turns out that I finally am running with all of the cool kids after all and I didn't even know that I was - how cool is that?

16 CANDLES 
Release Date: 1984
Rating: M
Running Time: 93 mins
This John Hughes 80's classic is right up there with the likes of The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  Hughes films were a staple for me growing up, and the jokes and teen awkwardness still work well today. Basically, there's always enough headgear, leotards and floppy disks to fill an 80's convention and the soundtrack is always kicking, making them the perfect coming of age options for any generation. 
Samantha Baker has just turned 16, however with her sisters wedding stealing all of the limelight, no-one even remembers. Smothered at home by an influx of extended family for the wedding and the horny exchange student Long Duk Dong, she turns her attentions to the high school dance. However, at school she is being pursued by a relentless geek whilst secretly lusting over the incredibly popular hunk Jake Ryan.
Things are set into motion for a crazy 48 hours of mis-hap and hilarity as love finds a way against all odds in true Hughes style.
FINAL SAY: Craziest 16th ever.
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Zombie movies are pretty hit and miss in my books and just like vampire movies, every one of them has their own spin on what a zombie is supposed to be and how or even if they can even be killed. Some zombie movies (Romero classics in particular) have the undead moving around at an almost comically slow pace. You know the type, The Walking Dead TV series really depicted them perfectly. The zombies are generally partially rotting, decomposing corpses that are mostly braindead and wander about so staggeringly slow that the main characters never seem to struggle to get away from them. 
And then on the other side of the coin there's the deliriously ravenous and high functioning hordes that retain some of their pre-zombie brain functions and are sprinting around full throttle all the time and sometimes even appear to have abnormally agile almost parkour capabilities and ninja like reflexes that make them virtually impossible to get away from. These are clearly the more terrifying types of zombies when it comes to horror.
In some zombie movies the undead are only interested in gobbling up brains and are driven primarily by the need to feed on grey matter. And then in other movies zombies are happy to eat any living thing including animals that may cross their paths and then again in other films they really only seem to want to spread infection and are mostly uninterested in eating anything much at all. 
Some zombie films depict infections spreading extremely fast and full zombie action can occur in a matter of moments and then sometimes it can take days for the effects of a zombie bite or scratch to kick in, giving characters a chance to be fully fleshed out before they start chowing down on everyone else. The pace and source of infection reliably always varies greatly from one zombie movie to another. 
And if we want to talk about inconsistencies, the way that zombies are eradicated is vastly different in every movie as well. Some zombies can be so die hard that they give Bruce Willis a run for his money and they seem basically impossible to destroy even if you chop them into tiny pieces. And then other zombies seem to be able to be depleted by just encouraging them to topple idiotically off cliffs like lemmings. Some need to be decapitated, some need their hearts removed and some need to be starved to death in order to kill them. Oh, and let's not forget that some of them just need a 'double tap.' There really is no one magic formula when it comes to killing zombies. 
And honestly, these types of inconsistencies do not bother me in the least, in fact I kind of like that the genre gets changed up because it would be pretty bat shit boring of they were all the same anyway. And when it comes to zombie horror movies, although they can be hit and miss, there are some absolutely brilliant offerings around that no serious horror fan should miss. 
Here is my list of the best zombie films that I have scored 3 chilli peppers or higher and are definitely worthy of a watch (for full reviews check out the horror tab under genres).

1. 28 Days Later - 2002 (4.5 Chilli Peppers)
2. Zombieland - 2009 (4 Chilli Peppers)
3. Shaun of the Dead - 2004 (4 Chilli Peppers)
4. Cargo - 2017 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
5. The Girl with All the Gifts  - 2016 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
6. Wyrmwood - 2015 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
7. The Return of the Living Dead - 1985 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
8. Dawn of the Dead - 2004 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
9. Zombieland: Double Tap​ - 2019 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
10. World War Z - 2013 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
11. REC - 2007 (3.5 Chilli Peppers)
12. Warm Bodies - 2013 (3 Chilli Peppers) - find me on the romance list!
13. Here Alone - 2016 (3 Chilli Peppers)
14. The Serpent and The Rainbow - 1988 (3 Chilli Peppers)
15. The Horde - 2009 (3 Chilli Peppers)
16. #Alive - 2020 (3 Chilli Peppers)

This year will be my first Father's Day without my father in the world. It is a strange feeling to not have a father to rally around and celebrate on Father's Day and it makes the day slightly painful in many ways. What it has done is make me remember all of the things that I really loved about my dad and some of the things that I am really missing now that he is no longer with us. 
It's so weird because sometimes I can still be watching a TV show or a movie and I will think to myself - dad would love this, I can't wait to tell him about this; and then I remember that he isn't here anymore and I feel really sad. One thing that I could always have a conversation with my dad about was movies, in fact I believe that a lot of my passion for movies actually derived from my fathers own passion for cinema. My dad loved movies, especially westerns, action films, war films and gutsy dramas, and like me, he could lose himself down a rabbit hole of movies for hours and hours; much to the disgust of my mother. 
Dad and I could natter about movies for hours, we would recommend movies to each other and we would quote our favourite lines from movies to each other when we were talking about them. My dad understood what it felt like to be genuinely moved by movies and he would watch just about any genre, including art house and foreign cinema which we would often chat about. I really miss having my dad around to talk about TV and movies with and I miss the excitement that I felt when I would find a movie that I knew that he would love. He got DVD's on more than one occasion from me for Father's Day that's for sure. 
​I had a pretty special relationship with my dad and for all of his hard exterior and seemingly toxic masculine throw out comments, my dad could actually be a deeply compassionate, caring and genuinely gentle man. My dad offered me comfort, understanding and a sympathetic ear on more than a few occasions and I always felt, even though he could at times be so distant and aloof, that he had a soft spot for me that no-one else in my life has ever had.
They say that no-one will ever love you like your parents and when it came to my dad I believed that to be true. He loved me, he really did. And even though he struggled to demonstrate it times because of his own issues, he did love me like no-one else ever did or has since. He forgave me for every shortcoming or fault that I had growing up, he hugged me like he was going to break my ribs and he spoke to me in honest and revealing ways that told me that he trusted me and he loved me. I miss having a love like that in my life and even though Craig offers me a pretty huge love, like I said before, no-one will ever love you like a parent and I miss that unconditional love and mutual adoration greatly. 
​I also miss the old school Aussie larrikin side of my dad. Political correctness never quite reached my dad's wheelhouse and it meant that he was never afraid to say some scandalous but also quite funny things. I know that dad always fancied himself as a bit of a maverick and shocking people was something that I think that he enjoyed greatly. He was always the first to call bullshit on everything and sometimes it was really funny but it could also be quite revealing because my dad's tolerance for actual bullshit was incredibly low. Again I know that I also have inherited that quality from my dad as well as my quirky and cheeky sense of humour and I do miss having a laugh with my dad, he could be side splittingly funny when the mood took him. 
And I suppose that's it's completely healthy and normal to miss my dad and to long for a little bit of what is now missing from my world. Holidays like Father's Day are always going to heighten my longing for more time and also make me reminisce about the times that we did get to share together. I guess that I should feel lucky that I have such great memories of my time with my dad to recall when I do feel the heaviness of the world without him and for that I will always be thankful. 
Missing you dad...thinking of you and wishing that you were still around - Happy Father's Day xx

Having amazing streaming capability and a host of good apps and websites to call upon is pretty much essential in our current climate. And that's pretty rich coming from me because as some of you would know I generally like to kick it old school and do not use social media platforms or apps to get my jollies. However I am not completely immune to the power, allure or entertainment factor of the internet, I'm a Gen X for goodness sake - I bloody love tech! And even though I am mostly reclusive on the internet, I do have a number of apps and websites that I just could not manage without. 
Apps I Cannot Live Without:

• Pinterest 
• Goodreads
• Ted Talks
• IMDb 
• Insight Timer
• Triple J Radio
• Airbnb
• Audible 
• Spotify 
• Netflix
• Stan
• Amazonprime 
• SBS on Demand
• ABC iview 
• AppleTV
• Foxtel Go 
• 7 PLus
• 9 Now
• 10 Play 

Every other app is just gravy to me, but the apps listed above I would use very regularly and yeah I know, it's a boring as bat shit list but as I said earlier, I have very simple tastes. 
​
Now, let's look at my can't live without YouTube channels:

• Raphael Reiter - transcendental meditation
• Yoga with Adriene - yoga
• JonTronShow - humour
• Fightmaster Yoga - yoga
• After Skool - inspiration
• Frank James - infj
• YOGATX - yoga
• Daily Dose of... - inspiration
• Ozzy Man Reviews  - humour
• Chris Stuckman - cinema
• Blogilates - workout
• Five Parks Yoga - yoga
• Cinefix - cinema
• The Chopra Well - wellness and meditation
• Psyche Truth - wellness
• Power Thoughts - wellness
• David Lynch Sunday Best - inspiration
• Russell Brand - inspiration
• The Mindful Movement - wellness and meditation

Probably no big surprises there either, but I do waste a bit of my free time on those channels and I do follow them all as well. 

And we all have our fave go to stations, apps and YouTube channels and quite frankly, we all need them right now. Technology is the only thing that is really keeping us connected and relevant at the moment, so I think that it is totally okay to allow yourself to fall into a few web-related rabbit holes or just surrender to a TV embrace for a few hours. With so many restrictions and guidelines and barriers around almost every other aspect of our lives, it feels not only good but also extremely necessary to escape, tune out and enjoy some simple and accessible pleasures. And if that happens to come in the form of an app, video game, TV show, movie, YouTube station or website - then I say go for it and enjoy it fully.
Thank goodness that we have technology to fill the boring void that we are all experiencing whilst we await a COVID19 vaccine. Come on science, we are all just marking time and waiting for you to deliver now!

Experts say that in order to know if you are accomplished on any subject then you should be able to deliver a 40 minute talk about it, on the spot without any planning or preparation time. I'm pretty sure that there would be dozens of people scrambling at the mere concept of this, not only because delivering a coherent and educational speech on the spot without preparation seems like pure madness but also because this idea falls well outside of most people's comfort zone. 
Delivering any kind of speech or public demonstration on the spot is enough to send the most rational and calm individuals into a tail spin, but studies have shown that if someone really knows their topic well enough and is a professional on the subject that they are delivering, that a 40 minute on the spot talk is not only possible but also quite educational for the people that receive it. 
Naturally after hearing this I started to ponder what I might be able to deliver an 'on the spot' 40 minute talk about that I was not only expert enough about to share, but would also be an interesting enough subject that other people might give two shits about. And let me tell you, this is an excellent thing for everyone to ponder because it really determines what you are genuinely talented or qualified enough about to be able to talk about in an interesting way for the better part of an hour.
After much deliberation and contemplation, here are the things (in no particular order) that I believe that I could talk about to others for 40 minutes - on the spot, whether or not anyone would actually want to hear any of my talks, well that's a whole other thing entirely, but here's a list of topics that I believe that I could deliver - for good or for bad: 

• Movies You Need to See If We Are Ever to Talk About Movies Together Ever Again.
• Self Care and Mindfulness for Neglectful Headcases. 
• Healthy Eating and Cooking (aka. How to Stop Being So Fucking Lazy in the Kitchen). 
• Incorporating Some Zen into Your Everyday Routine Because You're Currently a Wreck.
• Time to Grow a Vagina - (aka. Why Horror Movies Are Awesome) 
• This Too Shall Pass - A Lesson in Acceptance and Letting Go of all of That Crap
• Long Term Relationship Success (aka. You Said Yes to That Mess) 
• Unmissable Television Series That You're a Dud if You Don't See
• Kids- Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em
• Oh, So That's Happening Now? (aka the Truth About Ageing) 
• Planning Family Holidays on a Budget (aka. How to Use Airbnb to Your Advantage) 
• Journal Writing 101 - Get it Out of You and Write That Shit Down!

If anyone would like to hit me up for any of these informative talks, please let me know, I would be more than happy to bore you death with my long winded rants and opinions on any of these topics at any time! 

THE GENTLEMEN 
Release Date: 2019 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 113 mins 
Director Guy Ritchie goes back to his gangster movie roots with his latest offering The Gentlemen. In true cockney screwball fashion, we again find ourselves thrown into the underworld of British crime with tonnes of seedy, colourful characters and another deeply convoluted and looping storyline. 
Mickey Pearson is a well known American marijuana kingpin in England who is looking to sell his cannabis empire for a handsome price. However a variety of rich, influential and shady characters are attempting to undermine him behind his back in an attempt to bring down the cost of his business. 
Although amusing, I don't think that this is as good as Ritchie's early gangster offerings like Snatch or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but it is still a completely fun and entertaining watch. Hugh Grant, Colin Farrell, Charlie Hunnam, Henry Golding and Matthew McConaughey are genuinely great here and definitely elevate the script with their razor sharp delivery of their seriously flawed and exaggerated characters. 
As far as fast paced, cockney crime-comedies go, this is a really enjoyable watch and a must see for Guy Ritchie fans that have been waiting for him to deliver another quality gangster movie. 
FINAL SAY: If you wish to be The King of the jungle, it's not enough to act like a king. You must be The King. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I recently found out that I am a number four in the Enneagram system of personality types. Number Four types are Individualists, they are creative and unique and are defined by their sense of being special and different from other people - which trust me, is not nearly as cool as it may sound.
There are nine different personality types and you can easily take a 10 minute online test to determine which type you are - just click on this link to take the test now: www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
The word Enneagram derives from the Greek words Ennea meaning nine and Gramma meaning something that is drawn or written, and each of the nine personality types is defined by a particular core belief about how the world works. No one really knows the exact origin of the Enneagram, but we do know it has an eclectic history. Some assume ancient roots in Babylon around 4,500 years ago while others place the origin in classical Greek philosophy around 2,500 years ago. The model has been attributed to the Jewish Kabbalah, Christian mysticism and Sufism, a mystical form of Islam. Dante apparently had very good knowledge of the Enneagram since the characters in The Divine Comedy correspond largely to the Enneagram types.
What we do know, is that the modern Enneagram system is the work of the contemporary author Georg Ivanovich Gurdjieff, a mystic and spiritual teacher who introduced the model as a spiritual symbol in the 1930s then brought it to the Western shores in the 1960s. Most researchers today tend to focus on the psychological rather than the religious side of the Enneagram, drawing comparisons with other personality models like the Myers-Briggs system.
The core belief systems of an Enneagram personality type shape your worldview and the perspective through which you experience your environment and the people around you. Our core beliefs are not necessarily incorrect, but they can be limiting. By better understanding your Enneagram type and how it colors your perceptions, you can apparently broaden your perspective and learn to approach situations in a more effective way. 
Understanding your Enneagram type helps you to understand why you behave or react in the ways that you do. Each type has a set of core beliefs that motivates them to take particular actions and guides them to make certain decisions. Knowing your Enneagram type can also help you to understand how and why other people react the way that they do in certain situations. By describing how each type adapts and responds to both stressful and supportive situations, the Enneagram shows opportunities for personal development and provides a foundation for the understanding of others.
Today it is mostly used for personal self-knowledge and personal development, offering a powerful tool for self-mastery, conflict resolution, team dynamics, leadership and emotional intelligence. Because it identifies opportunities for development in each individual type, it has become widely used in areas such as counseling, psychotherapy, business development, parenting and education. 
But in all seriousness, you can just decide for yourself whether or not you feel any connection to your personality type after you've taken the test and found out what your type is. And even if you gain nothing from taking the test and think that it is all a big load of malarkey, it's still a bit of fun and a good time filler on a rainy Sunday afternoon. 
Big shout out to all my fellow #4 Individualists out there - keep on being your unique beautiful selves!

PERSEPOLIS
Release Date: 2007
Rating: M
Running Time: 96 mins
An Iranian-French-American animated movie based on Marjane Satrapi's autobiographical graphic novel of the same name. After tying for the Jury Prize at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival, writer and director Marjane Satrapi said in her acceptance speech "Although this film is universal, I wish to dedicate the prize to all Iranians." Satrapi's story reached a wide audience, educating the masses about the Iranian revolution, touching people's hearts and creating waves of controversy as well. 
Persepolis is essentially a coming of age story about an outspoken and unique Iranian girl named Marjane. Marjane grows up amidst the Islamic revolution and is eventually sent away by her family to make a better life for herself in Vienna. 
Produced in moody black and white, and delivered with highly stylized visual flair, this film works on so many levels. Marjane is really no different than any other teenager trying to find their way in the world, she just happens to have seen a lot more brutality and inequality in her time. This is certainly no fairy tale, but it is hopeful, and there is  a great deal of clarity to be gleaned about the realities of the Islamic revolution from this beautifully presented political drama. 
FINAL SAY: Never forget who you are and where you're from. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

COVID19 has got me craving an overseas holiday like crazy. It's true that if you know that something is forbidden that it becomes even more desirable to you and travelling abroad has become that much longed after yearning for me. I have dreams where I am in destinations far away doing things that are completely inconceivable, dangerous and downright illegal to do right now. However, this craving for travel has made me reflect upon some of the best adventures that I have experienced in my travels, and I am so blessed to have had many. Here are some of my personal overseas highlights and experiences that I am exceptionally grateful to have been fortunate enough to enjoy.

• Eating croissants, cheese and baguettes in Paris - oh my thighs!
• Visiting the Parisian catacombs and Versaille. 
• Staying in a chateau in the Loire Valley.
• Going to the Tower of London and walking across Tower Bridge.
• Seeing Stonehenge, the real Magna Carta and the Roman Baths in England.
• Staying in a castle and sleeping in a 4-post bed in Bath.
• Eating fish and chips in Salisbury.
• Getting baked in Amsterdam and eating too many frites.
• Sailing the canals and seeing tulip fields whilst bike riding in Holland.
• Driving the autobahn across Germany in a new BMW. 
• Eating dumplings, sauerkraut and pretzels and drinking too much beer in Munich. 
• Seeing the snow covered mountain ranges between Germany and Austria. 
• Riding the vaporettos in Venice and getting lost in the streets.
• Visiting the Doge's Palace and Saint Mark's Square.
• The smell of good coffee and leather as you exit the train station in Florence. 
• All of the art and antiquities that I saw in Florence, especially Michelangelo's David. 
• Eating handmade fresh pasta in Florence. 
• Visiting the colosseum and the Roman forum in Rome. 
• Going to the ruins of Pompeii.
• Discovering that wine is cheaper than water by the bottle in Rome....when in Rome right? 
• Eating pizza and gelato in Rome.
• Staying in The Plaka in Athens and eating street food, especially the souvlaki and baklava!
• Standing at the sight of the Acropolis.
• Seeing Delphi - the navel of the world and climbing Mount Parnassus to the home of the oracle. 
• Cruising the beautiful Aegean Sea to Mykonos, Santorini and Crete. 
• Seeing the spectacular Santorini sunsets and white washed buildings. 
• Crazy bartering in Turkish street markets.
• Drinking Turkish apple tea after a traditional Turkish massage. 
• Eating the best Thai street food in Bangkok and Chiang Mai. 
• Staying on the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok.
• Racing through the Bangkok streets in a tuk tuk. 
• Eating Pad Thai and fresh fruit at the floating markets in Thailand. 
• Riding an elephant through the jungles of Chiang Mai on my 40th birthday. 
• Seeing the ruins at Sukhothai Historical Park and Ayutthaya in Thailand. 
• Shopping at markets and getting loads of good massages in Thailand. 
• Visiting the Monkey Forest and rice paddy fields of Ubud, Bali. 
• Eating delicious spicy pork ribs at the roadside warungs in Bali.
  
• Doing a tea and coffee (including that cat-poop coffee) sampling in Bali.  
• Seeing the incredible Gardens by the Bay in Singapore at night.
• Shopping for hours in the streets of Chinatown.
• Eating curry and navigating the Mustafa Centre in Little India.
• Feasting like a king for a few dollars at  the hawker centres in Singapore.  
• Having a Singapore sling at the Long Bar of Raffles Hotel.
• Glow worm caving in New Zealand.
• Going to Hobbiton.
• Flying down the side of a mountain on a luge in Rotorua. 
• Zip lining through the forests of Rotorua.
• Sailing Lake Taupo in New Zealand. 
• Seal watching and collecting Paua shells on the beach in Wellington.
• Snorkelling in Vanuatu. 
• Kayaking around the small islands in Port Vila, Vanuatu. 
• Eating seafood and drinking cocktails on the beach all night in Vanuatu. 

And these were just my favourite overseas experiences, I have done so many other great things as well (both in and out of the country) but I won't bore you any further, I think that I have made my point. Travelling is important to me, it feeds me and I long for it. There are so many other places that  I would love to go travel to....which gets me thinking. Maybe I could use my lockdown time to start planning another trip? Then when the world goes back to normal (who knows when that will happen?) I will be ready to head off once again...hmmm....but where to start? 

Saw this movie recently, and I know for sure that this is the last place on earth that I would want to travel to, so I'm definitely not starting at Hotel Coolgardie!

HOTEL COOLGARDIE
Release Date: 2016
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 83 mins
This confronting and at times distressing documentary from director Pete Gleeson focuses on an outback bar called Hotel Coolgardie, a  pub situated between Australia's most remote city and it's largest gold mine. It is also a pub where the majority of the patronage are made up of desperate, disillusioned and mostly roughneck blokes, many of whom work the local mines. 
Fresh off the plane from Finland, backpackers Lina and Steph undertake a three month consignment to work behind the bar at the Hotel Coolgardie to earn some fast cash. Unbeknownst to them, their arrival in town signals the locals to the arrival of some 'fresh meat' and the girls must continually fend off relentless advances from the booze-addled patrons whilst also dealing with their rude and demanding new boss. 
This documentary is so affecting, I felt physically unsettled, uncomfortable and afraid for the poor Finnish girls welfare for the entire duration. What we are seeing here is an unflinching portrayal of a masculine and dark side of Australia that I thought had died a thankful death years ago, but apparently it hasn't. And as you watch these poor women get rotated out every few months for another batch of attractive and completely unaware backpackers, it's just heartbreaking stuff to behold. As a woman, this Australian documentary made me feel deeply ashamed and sickened.
FINAL SAY: Toxic masculinity and small town alcoholics. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

When it comes to taking care of ourselves and not getting smashed on the shores of real life events, introverts can often be quite inept at listening to their inner voice and stepping back before reaching burn out or fever pitch. There is nothing worse than dealing with an introvert that has been ignoring their inner voice that has been telling them to slow down and take a break, it can start to feel a lot like you're reasoning with Jake LaMotta from the movie Raging Bull and it isn't fun for anyone involved. 
Where extroverts get energy from other people and feel down if they are left alone for long periods, introverts work at the polar opposite end of that scale and require regular alone time in order to feel grounded and centred. 
For that reason I have compiled a list of the best self care strategies that I use to sate my need for alone time and quench my introverted feelings of overwhelment and frustration. If you too, like me are an introvert then hopefully you will find this list helpful when you find yourself in need of little self care and t.l.c. 
1. STOP!
And I don't just mean sit down for 5 minutes, I mean fully and completely stop. All devices, distractions and external noises turned off. You need to be completely alone and uninterrupted for 10 solid minutes. If you are at work or in a public space you may need to seek out a spot to make this happen (even your car can be an option if all else fails), but wherever you are, you have to find a way to make it possible to be alone and switch off completely. Think of yourself like a iphone that needs recharging, you have to find a power outlet and plug in - you're giving yourself the recharge that you need to get through the day - it's valuable and vital - especially if you are the type of introvert that is prone to burnout. 
2. DO SOMETHING CREATIVE
Nothing soothes a messy mind like putting something down on paper. Colour a mindful colouring book, doodle, paint, sketch, write in a journal or if you are really crafty make something more 3D with your hands. Paper crafts, sculpting, jewellery making, knitting, crocheting, sewing, making bread or even playing an instrument have been scientifically proven to release stress reducing endorphins. You will not only produce something handmade and awesome but will also allow the introvert in you to tune out from external input and reboot your system. 
3. NANNA NAP 
Nothing recharges a weary mind like a good nap. If you are fortunate enough to take a 30-40 minute nanna nap on the weekend or even squeeze a 20 minute afternoon reboot into your weekday routine, then do it! You're definitely going to be glad that you did because a half hour sleep in the afternoon has also been scientifically proven to boost emotional, physical and mental capabilities. Old people swear by it and little people can't function without it, so why not treat yourself to a nanna nap more often? 
4. WALK IT OFF
Get your feel good endorphins kicking with a nice easy walk around a park. I am not talking about a power walk here, I am talking about a casual meander through the local gardens, somewhere that you can literally stop and smell the flowers, take in a little sunshine and breathe in some good fresh air. If walking is not your bag, that's fine too, you could also try yoga, Tai Chi or gentle swimming. Make it more about the journey rather than the steps on the pedometer. 
5. READ
Everyone knows that I am a huge advocate of getting lost between the pages of a good book for a couple of hours when you can and it is not just about being immersed in a great story but also about the stress reducing and long term health benefits around reading. Reading is so damn good for you; it increases your intelligence, memory and general IQ  and next to meditation it is the most effective way to stimulate your mind without the need for movement or chemicals. Introverts get reading now - it's a brilliant way to detox and reboot. 
6. TOUCHY FEELY
No I don't mean going off to have a bit of rumpy-pumpy, but if that's what get you feeling good then so be it, by all means have at that too. What I was actually referring to was using your sense of touch to diffuse your introvert anxieties. The best ways to do this are to engage in mellow and releasing touch stimulations like petting your cat or dog, taking a bubble bath, having a massage, having a long hot shower or putting on your favourite comfy clothes or PJ's and snuggling under a soft blanket. Physical touch release actually works really well for introverts and if you haven't tried this method of self soothing yet, I would definitely urge you to do so. 

​And there you have it, six sure fire ways for any introvert to defuse their anger, reverse their exhaustion and reboot their systems. Make some time for your introverted self and take care of your wellbeing, because nobody likes a tired, grumpy or intolerant introvert; so save us all from the Raging Bull antics and be kind to yourself!

RAGING BULL
Release Date: 1980
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 129 mins
Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro are truly a winning combination and Raging Bull is certainly testament to that fact. Considered one of the best films to have been made in the 1980's, Raging Bull was clearly ahead of it's time. Shot in moody black and white, this is certainly not like any other sports drama that had been made at the time; and the script works hard to disclose the barbaric and brutal realities of boxing as a sport, with a stellar and clearly physically demanding performance from De Niro. 
Jake LaMotta is a middleweight boxer that has fought his way to the top and refuses to go down for anyone. His obsessions and delusions soon reveal him to be an unstable, jealous and volatile man that will stop at nothing to keep his stranglehold on his boxing title and his beautiful wife. 
Joe Pesci plays Joey, LaMotta's brother and well-intentioned manager with lots of heart, and Cathy Moriarty does a fabulous job of portraying Vickie, LaMotta's long enduring wife; but in essence this is De Niro's movie from start to end. He gained an incredible 27kgs to portray Jake LaMotta in his post boxing days, making him almost unrecognizable and there wasn't a moment during the film that I didn't find him terrifyingly unhinged. 
FINAL SAY: So give me a stage where this bull can rage....
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I know that I recently wrote a blog post all about Intuition vs Logic and I have since enjoyed some lengthy and interesting discussion with friends around that topic; and this is because there seems to be some misunderstanding around the difference between intuition and instinct, and which of those we should be listening to. In my previous post I said that you should be careful of always choosing to go with your intuition over your logic and I cited some pretty valid reasons for that, but when it comes to listening to your instincts it's a whole other ball game because overriding your instincts can be much, much harder indeed. 
Your intuition is that feeling that you get, almost like an inner voice or sixth sense that makes you think that something may feel like a good or bad opportunity. Your instinct however is not a feeling, it's an innate hardwired natural tendency to behave or react in a certain way and it's far more primordial than your intuition. Your instinct is part of your biological make up which is why it can be very difficult to override. Unlike your intuitive thoughts which are created when your brain perceives a neural pathway, your instincts are a motor response that are initiated by your whole body in response to an external stimuli. 
Our instincts are what have kept us alive as human beings for thousands of years, they are produced by a biological force that makes us react to hunger and thirst, it's what drives us to use our bowels, blink, sleep, have sex, reproduce and above all else - survive. Over time we have managed to hone our instincts so that we can manage them in more refined and appropriate ways, but all of us still have them and not all of us have evolved to a point where we can manage or control them very well.
Suppressing your most basic instincts can not only be useful but also completely necessary if you want to get along in the modern world. It would be completely inappropriate to jump every person's bones that aroused a sexual instinct within you, and although there probably was a time in history when this was a useful instinct to employ in order to sustain human kind, these days it would obviously be extremely frowned upon and you'd probably end up in jail. Also managing other social/emotional instincts like our instinct of fight or flight, which may not always be an appropriate response in every situation has been replaced with more refined methods of negotiation and modern logic now, so there is no need for anyone to run screaming out of a room when they feel affronted or afraid anymore. 
However, those fight or flight instincts can still come in mighty handy when it comes to certain survival situations and there are hundreds of human experiences that we would still be using the method with, and it would be saving our skin to do so.  In general, ignoring all of your instincts is pretty unwise because our instincts are important innate behaviours that we learned and practised for a reason - as humans we all need them, but some of our human instincts that we have developed over time are not only useless now but they could even cause the eventual the downfall of humankind if we can't fight against them.
Our strongest human instinct, the one that overrides everything is our survival instinct. Because of this super strong survival instinct that all humans have, we have also developed a few less than attractive instincts in order to keep the flock safe and humans alive. The worst of those are denial, revenge and greed. Due to the extreme scarcity of resources for early man, greed was a form of survival. Being honesty also didn't feed anyone and neither did forgiveness, so denial and revenge were ways to establish pecking order, strengthen loyalties and ensure that a tribe survived. Unfortunately, many of us are still employing these shithouse instincts into our lives today and the results have been damning to say the least. Many people are still instinctively in denial about many modern issues like food shortages, lack of clean drinking water, global warming, pollution, disease, overpopulation... the list goes on and on and the reason for this denial is often fed by greed and revenge. And even though we do not need to employ these basic instincts to protect the herd anymore, many of us still do and the results are devastating on a global scale. 
So, in short it is fair to say that we should, just like our intuition, listen to our logic and sound modern thinking before we allow ourselves to be overcome by our often outdated biological instincts. We as humans pride ourselves in being the leaders of this planet, and in doing so we have an obligation to behaviour in a more refined and dignified manner than some of our instincts would like us to because if we don't, then we are really no better than the animals that we say we are going to protect. Don't be a slave to your instincts, use them when you need to but be aware that some of them are totally archaic knee jerk reactions that you can learn to control and replace with more evolved and humanitarian choices. 

You don't need to have religious calling, become a devout Buddhist monk or start drinking the Kool Aid with a local cult to feel like you are tapping into a higher power. In fact, your true higher power really doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with religion or any organised belief systems because tapping into your higher power is really just about finding out about what motivates, stimulates, activates and energises your life; and that is going to look different for everyone. 
So many people attribute the term 'higher power' to a power that is greater than ourselves and I respectfully say to them that I strongly disagree. From my experience, this is most certainly not the case for everyone. Many, many people are able to tap into a higher vibration or version of themselves without having any firm or fixed ideas around an existential God or deity. And I firmly believe that it is just as correct to call this inner attunement 'tapping into a higher power' and that is the kind of higher power that I am going to be discussing today - your internal higher power; but if it makes you feel more comfortable to look outside of yourself for that then by all means, go for it!
In order to become more attuned to your higher self, you do need to be willing to go within. This may take the form of meditation, contemplation or for religious people - prayer, whatever you're doing, you need to quiet the mind, still the body and calm the inner voices so that you get beneath all of the hum and noise that you are so used to hearing all of the time. You're looking for a deep dive into the seat of yourself because what you are attempting to do is connect with the deepest parts of your subconscious and really listen to the most raw parts of yourself. This voice, the one that lies deep within you, is your higher power.
But why bother trying to tap into this 'higher power' anyway? It all just sounds like a lot of sitting around and zoning out right? Well, in all honesty, when you do manage to find that voice that I spoke of earlier, it will help you to understand yourself a whole lot better. It will help you to heal old hurts, open your mind, help yourself and others and teach you to be more loving and accepting of differences and mistakes. Becoming more attuned to yourself will allow you to identify patterns in your behaviours, root out problems in your life and best of all solve them as well. And just to really put the icing on the cake, your higher power will also help you to love yourself unconditionally. 
I know that some people will think that this is all just spiritual mumbo-jumbo, but it really isn't. You do not need to be spiritual or believe in any kind of God to be able to attune to your own rhythms and subconscious energies. If everyone spent more time tending their own gardens and less time worrying about what was going on in anyone else's, trust me - it would be a much brighter and calmer world overall. So don't look elsewhere, I say look within to unlock, unfurl and understand who you really are. Everyone deserves a higher love and a link to their higher self but knowing that you don't have to go outside of yourself to get that is really one of the most empowering things that anyone could know. 
Get started right away, learn to listen to your body, tune into your feelings and pay attention to your thoughts. Attune to your higher power and start to love yourself on a whole new and more deeply empowering level. You truly deserve nothing less than that and I honestly do believe that. 
The COVID -19 pandemic has made it absolutely impossible for anyone to travel anywhere for quite some time, so why not invest some time in a little inner travel? What have you got to lose? And it is completely free!
​I do encourage and sincerely wish you well on your explorations to find your higher power; remember to travel softly, be super kind to yourself and really take your time...and above all else - enjoy the journey!

THE LIGHTHOUSE
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 110 mins 
A psychological thriller, directed and produced by Robert Eggers, who co-wrote the screenplay with his brother Max Eggers. Shot in black and white and delivered in a nearly square 1.19:1 ratio, The Lighthouse is a deeply affecting and sinister watch that blurs the lines between horror, art house, mythology and edge of your seat thriller. 
Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson) undertakes a four week contract as a lighthouse keeper on an isolated island off the coast of New England under the guidance of veteran 'wickie' Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe). As the days stretch into weeks the men succumb to the madness of isolation, the intolerably cruel conditions and the often erratic and irritable behaviours of one another. 
Pattinson and Dafoe are absolutely brilliant here, delivering Oscar worthy, powerhouse performances and going to incredible lengths to create something that is so unforgettably dark and unsettling that I found myself thinking about it for days after.
Steeped in superstition and folklore, the story takes some unexpected turns as it delves into some seriously controversial territory like loneliness, alcoholism, toxic masculinity and hidden identity. The Lighthouse is undoubtedly the most unforgettable movie of the year and will definitely be shocking audiences for many years to come. 
FINAL SAY: Let Neptune strike ye Dead, Winslow!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Which would you like to have more of in your life, supporters or friends? And do you even need to choose? Can't your friends also be your supporters? Well, in some instances yes they can, but unfortunately in many friendships that is often not the case. So let's take a closer look at what constitutes being a friend compared to being a supporter. 
By definition, a friend  is a person outside of your family circle that you enjoy the company of or feel an affection for; which does not mean that they are necessarily also your supporter. We all have some friends that are great fun to spend time with but when the going gets tough or we need someone to bounce the heavy stuff off of, we aren't necessarily going to call them. That doesn't make them bad friends or 'unworthy of our time or affection' friends, they just aren't in your supporter group. So there clearly is a difference between being a friend and being a supporter, and just because someone is your friend that doesn't automatically mean that they are going to be the best person to head up your personal cheer squad. 
Generally, these are the qualities that I am look for in my friends:

• They enjoy being with me 
• They don't judge me 
• They are generally kind and respectful
• They see me socially on a regular basis
• They are loyal and wouldn't put me down behind my back
• We can enjoy a laugh together

When it comes to supporters, I am looking for people who:

• Are there for me no matter what
• Want me to succeed 
• Will kindly let me know if I'm being out of line
• Comfort me or assist me when I feel overwhelmed or sad
• Share in my joys and losses 
• Have my back 
• Listen - really listen.

I am actually extremely fortunate, because many of my good friends are also my supporters, but I would be lying if I said that they all were. All of my friends are terrific company but some of them are definitely better supporters than others and I am sure that this would be true for most people. And to be honest, I don't expect all of my friends to be my best supporters, it takes time and shared experiences to cultivate strong and committed friendships and sometimes we aren't looking for a supporter anyway. Sometimes I just want someone to hang out with and have a laugh with from time to time and no-one has to be on my personal cheer squad to meet that need. 
When it comes to being a really good friend for others I think that I strive to be a friend and a supporter as much as possible, and at the very least a really good friend. Whether I am sharing my deepest darkest secrets or just having a laugh over dinner, all of my friends are exceptionally valuable to me and I am extremely grateful for each and every one of them. If like me you are also blessed with beautiful friends then make sure that you let them know just how much they mean to you. Cherish your posse and treat your friends like they are made of gold because good friends are something that we all really want, but finding ones that are awesome friends and also excellent supporters is both a rare and a beautiful thing indeed. 

Sometimes in life we believe that we can detect patterns. These patterns can be seen in the way that we ritualistically do things or in the way that we behaviour or react to certain things or even in the behaviours and reactions of others if we are really observant. And sometimes we can even believe that we see patterns in external or unrelated things; and when this happens a lot it can actually be a problem or even a sign of mental unwellness. 
The term apophenia is used to diagnose a condition when people have a tendency to mistakenly perceive patterns or connections between completely unrelated things. Coined by psychiatrist Klaus Conrad in his 1958 publication on the beginning stages of schizophrenia, he defined it as the "unmotivated seeing of connections accompanied by a specific feeling of abnormal meaningfulness." 
People that suffer from apophenia will seek patterns in all kinds of random information. Many gamblers actually suffer from this condition, believing that they can see patterns in lottery numbers, card games and roulette wheels, this type of apophenia is often called "gambler's fallacy."
One more common form of apophenia that we all suffer from is pareidolia and it is when we perceive patterns in visual and auditory stimuli. A common example of this might be to see a shape in the clouds or a face within an inanimate object. Think about all of the people who flocked to see images of Jesus or the Virgin Mary on a piece of toast or a block of wood; these items are terrific examples of pareidolia. And who hasn't seen the man in the moon? We all know what pareidolia feels like and most of us can see the patterns and dismiss them as mere coincidence, but some of us actually cannot. 
As humans we all have a need for order, and in general most of us will choose order and predictability over chance and chaos every time. This tendency does push us to see patterns everywhere, even when they do not exist. So when does seeing or hearing patterns become a problem? Well, at the end of the day, thinking that you have found the face of God in your cereal is not really going to hurt anyone, but making false pattern predictions a lot can be extremely dangerous to your wellbeing and overall safety. Experts recommend that if you are experiencing any of the following pattern recognition errors regularly, you may actually have apophenia. So let's take a look at what those pattern recognition errors are:

• Hearing hidden messages when you play recordings backwards.
• Seeing Godlike images in inanimate objects regularly. 
• Hearing voices or messages in ticking clocks or other repetitive noises. 
• Believing in jinx items or behaviours. 
• All superstitious beliefs and behaviours. 
• Seeing 'signs' in mundane things eg. 11:11 on a clock face. 
• Unwaveringly beliefs in conspiracy theories and unproven ideas. 

Hmmm, turns out that seeing Jesus in your cereal may not be so innocuous after all. So, next time that you find yourself laying on your back thinking that you just saw a dragon fly past in the clouds, spare a thought for the people that suffer from crippling apophenia and can't control their beliefs in patterns. Consider just how difficult a life like that must actually be. What we see as a fun way to pass a moment on a sunny afternoon, is actually an obsession for some poor individuals and having no ability to separate patterns from the randomness of life must be extremely frustrating. This is definitely one of the rare moments when I am truly grateful for the utterly random and unpredictable quality of my own life. 

2020 - what a year! Who could've seen that one coming? Unlike an active volcano, inclement weather or global warming, 2020 completely burst onto the scene with great force and unprecedented change on levels that no-one (not even Nostradamus) could have accurately foreseen or predicted.  And as much as we have all now learned to expect the unexpected, it can still be hard to find the highlights and stay in touch with the joys of life when you feel like you are constantly be blindsided with change  and overwhelmed by uncertainty. 
So let's take a look at what has happened in 2020 so far that has actually been worthy of celebrating, and before you shout out nothing at all, think again, you may have missed some of the good stuff because the bad has taken up all of your attention and space. Turns out that in spite of impeachments, wildfire and COVID-19 there have actually been some good times for us to reflect upon. 

1. Despite January's wildfires burning 18 million acres of Australian bushlands, the devastating bushfires proved that the world could come together and support each other in huge and generous ways. Over $140 million dollars was raised and donated for the victims of the January fires and comedian Celeste Barber broke the Facebook's fundraising platform records by raising $32 million to support firefighters.  
2. The second person in the world was cured of HIV thanks to stem cell treatments. And although the treatment is high-risk and therefore not available to the wider public just yet, it is a massive breakthrough and a genuine sign of greater things to come for the HIV infected population. 
3. COVID-19 might have stopped the world in its tracks, but it certainly didn't slow the heroic efforts of front line healthcare and medical workers who bravely answered the call to care for the sick and dying. Working gruelling hours under extreme and often deeply emotional circumstances, these everyday heroes have saved thousands of lives, tested billions of the world's population and persisted for the sake of humankind. 
4. The oldest fossil of the modern bird to date was discovered this year and it dates back 66 million years - before the age of dinosaurs! The creature, which scientists have named Wonder Chicken looks like a chicken from the front and a duck from the back and tells us a lot about early evolution and has sparked much debate around the origins of the bird species and life form evolution in general. 
5. The world got far more tech savvy and inclusive as people got more inventive and creative with their online usage. Teachers everywhere learned to deliver remote learning programs to their students, famous chefs around the globe uploaded free online cooking lessons, Spotify introduced 'Daily Wellness' playlists, performers, celebrities  and musicians gave us free online concerts and across the globe everyone worked out how to use Zoom and Google Meets. 
6. The first in-vitro fertilized cheetah cubs were born in Columbus Zoo in February, which was a feat for both biology and zoology. The twin cubs bring with them a very hopeful and promising sign that humans may be able to save the globe's endangered species after all. 
7. And last, but not least, the world pollution levels have dropped significantly due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The planet has received a much needed breath of fresh air since so many businesses and transportation systems have reduced or stopped altogether across the globe. In areas like New Delhi, the pollution was recorded to have dropped as much as 60% in just one week of lockdown, and this trend was seen across the world over the last three months. 

So there you go, it's not all doom and gloom after all, and although we didn't see any of the bad things coming, we also missed a lot of the really good stuff as a consequence. So I suppose what I am trying to say is to remember to keep your eye out for the good things and to worry a lot less about the unexpected and unfortunate. 

You are enough. What does that mean exactly? We all want to feel like we are enough, but what does it mean to actually be enough. Well, I can tell you now that it does not mean that you have been assessed, made the grade or finally been considered to be worthy enough to have earned the label of "enough" as many people would think that it does. It also does not mean that you have worked hard enough, pushed hard enough, tried enough or done enough, it actually means none of those things. 
You are enough simply means that you are enough. Right now, as you are right at this moment, you are enough. It means that you are exactly where you are meant to be and for now that is enough, however it does not mean that you are everything, perfect or complete which is something that people seem to get very confused about when they hear that they are enough. 
For some reason, people think that "enough" is some zone of completion or perfection, which is absolutely crazy. For a start there is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is completely subjective and in my opinion generally overrated. Also, since you are a human being, you can never ever be "completed" because you are a work in progress for your entire life and you will never stop growing, learning and evolving, and why on earth would you want to anyway? If being enough really was perfection and completion then it would actually be some kind of personal made hell in the form of stagnation and delusion, so no - being enough has nothing to do with being perfect or competed. 
Being enough is really about just being you. You with all of your messy imperfections, your hang ups and your beautiful broken bits that make you who you are, and also having an awareness that it's perfectly okay to be all of those things. Being enough is knowing that aiming for perfection is a form of self made insanity and thinking that you're perfect is delusional and believing you're 'all done' is seriously mental and definitely limiting. 
You are enough means that you know that you don't have to strive to prove your worth because you know that you have worth. You also don't have to question if you are loveable because you already know that you are. It means that you know without a shadow of  doubt that you can be brave enough to be more open, honest, true, authentic, free, connected, purposeful and intentional in how you present yourself and behave, and it's all good to do so. Being enough means that you can have pride in all aspects of yourself, you don't compare yourself to anyone, you have no need to feel insecure about who you are and you also know that you don't need to judge or compete with anyone because all of those behaviours are pointless and will only slow down your overall progress.
​And do you know why you know all of that?
Because you are enough, that's why.
And don't you forget it! 

When you're regularly asked to social distance, stay at home and keep away from crowds of people it can become pretty easy to feel completely disconnected from the rest of the world. All of your travel plans have been cancelled, concerts and live performances aren't even an option and all of your best laid plans for the last three months have come to a grinding halt, and let's be honest about it, it doesn't really feel that great does it? Some days it can be really hard to find the joy when you're just doing the same monotonous things, feeling cut off from everyone and craving more physical contact.  
When these kinds of feelings last for long periods of time, people can start to feel downright depressed, which is the last thing that anyone needs to be feeling when we are already in the midst of a pandemic. It's all stressful, worrying and uncomfortable enough thanks, no one needs to be feeling depressed on top of it all and that's why maintaining human connection is more important than ever as we navigate these difficult times. 
Here are some sure fire ways to make sure that you are staying connected with the world whilst also maintaining a sense of inner peace of harmony. 
Adapt: Try to keep doing as many of the things that you were doing before COVID-19 hit, just adapt them. Workout online instead of at the gym, go for long walks or ride your bike in nature as a form of exercise, schedule your eating times to happen at the same time as a friend so that you're still socialising, have movie nights with small groups in your home instead of going to the cinema. Get creative with how you can socialise in small groups in your own home eg. have themed dinner party nights, trivia nights, movie nights, cooking classes, game nights or home spa treatments. These will give you something to look forward to and keep you socialising in small groups in safe spaces. 
Touch: Touch is such a rich source of affirmation, security and safety and many of us not only crave it but actually need it. This is probably one of the toughest things for single people to combat during a pandemic, because you just can't go around hugging everyone when you run the possibility of either contracting or passing along a deadly virus, not to mention it's really just generally not okay. In order to counterbalance the loss of the comfort that comes from hugs and physical closeness psychologists recommend a daily call to someone in the form of a Skype, Zoom, Facetime or Meets app situation. Something face to face and regular will help to alleviate the loneliness and feelings of isolation for people that are alone, and for everyone else - well take some comfort in the fabulousness of your relationships and hug the people in your home for longer, kiss your partner more often and just fully enjoy being close to people when you can be safely. 
Self talk: Focus your energies and your internal dialogue around what you can control and not on what you can't. Instead of saying to yourself 'how long will this all last for?' learn to ask yourself this important question every day:
What do I need today in order to feel satisfied, safe and connected? 
Spend more time exploring your own wants, needs and requirements and less time on the 'what if's' around this whole pandemic experience. By learning to attend to your own needs, you will find more joy, a sense of inner peace and maybe even spark some interest in a new activity or hobby to fill in your free time in satisfying and self-connecting ways. 
Talk It Out: If you are feeling anxious, worried or fearful, that's okay - you're not alone! You are allowed to feel those things and you should share those thoughts with others. By talking out your concerns with friends or family, whether it's face to face or over the phone you will reduce your stress levels and give people an awareness about what is going on for you. A reduction in socialisation and connection is genuinely difficult for many people and being honest about your emotions and reaching out to others will definitely build stronger connections and help to alleviate anxiety. 
Get Moving: Whether you like to exercise or not is not really relevant because the science is in! And the fact of the matter is that exercising releases heaps of feel good chemicals like dopamine, endorphins and serotonin, and they lift your mood, reduce your stress and they're completely free as well. You can't argue with that now can you? Exercise is a great way to meet up with friends, get some fresh air  and sunshine into your system and kick off those feel good chemicals, so try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of exercise into your routine a day. It may not always connect you with others, but you will definitely feel better for doing it. 
Be Zen: You know that I love a good meditation, I can't even go a day without it anymore. And there are some kick arse meditation apps out there that are not only great for triggering mindfulness and calm, but are also social and free as well. Check out Insight Timer or Smiling Mind for some inner connection zen time, you won't regret it. 

Some people have quite abnormal and pretty concerning relationships with food. Some people eat too much of it and other people deprive themselves of it, and obviously neither of those scenarios would be considered as having a healthy relationship with food.
So what does it mean to have a healthy relationship with food? Well, having a healthy relationship with food is really also about having a healthy relationship with yourself and your body and its needs. It's all about being connected to what you are eating, when you are eating and why you are eating. Marry all of this with listening to what your body needs rather than what it desires when it comes to food choices and you'll be enjoying what is known as a healthy relationship with food.
Unfortunately, as a society we place far more emphasis on whether a food is healthy or unhealthy than we do on actually forming healthy relationships with food and our own physiological needs. Physicians, dietary experts and psychologists are saying that our attitudes to dieting and nutrition have made many of us quite fat and unhealthy and they are now urging people to give themselves permission to eat again. However in doing so, we must also learn to listen to what our body is really asking for and also teach ourselves to stop eating when our hunger has been satisfied. 
When we are food deprived, we generally eat more high sugar and high carb snacks, which in short means that we are more likely to become 'snack snufflers' and eat far more empty calories and low value foods than we should. Low value foods offer eaters instant gratification but they do come with a very high cost to our overall health and wellbeing. Many processed foods are now being sited to be cancer forming and many junk foods are now being linked directly to diabetes, heart disease and other serious and chronic illnesses. However, it is just as important to understand that eating the occasional donut or having fish and chips once in a while is not going to cause any real problems to anyone. As long as you are eating these kinds of foods in moderation and recognising them as treats and not everyday eating choices, then you will be perfectly safe to indulge in said 'bad' foods from time to time without being worried or fearful that you will gain weight or become unhealthy. 
However, more importantly, experts are saying that what we really need to do as a society in order to maintain a healthy relationship with food is to stop using it as a tool to numb and distance ourselves from our emotions. In general, when people are dealing with an emotional issue they will follow the path of least resistance, which more often than not leads directly to our pantry or fridge. We go straight to the foods that we call 'bad' or that we have prohibited in our minds because that belief makes them even more powerful as a numbing mechanism. So basically, we should never rule any foods out as completely forbidden because that will just strengthen our association to them as being something that can bring us ultimate reward and release. 
So what do you do when the shit hits the fan and you find yourself going to the fridge for comfort? Well, the first thing to do is to notice what you are doing before you eat anything. You need to make everything that you eat a mindful choice and not a subconscious decision, which means that you need to actively decide to eat everything that you do, with some serious emphasis on the words actively decide. In the most basic terms, you need to think about everything that you ingest before you do and always ask yourself these questions before you put any food into your body:

• Am I really hungry?
• Why am I choosing this food?
• Is this the best choice that I can make for my body right now?
• Is food really what I need right now? 

And if you still really want the food that you have chosen after that, then go for it - eat it! Just remember to always eat it slow and mindfully, and to stop as soon as you feel full. And apparently, according to all of the experts of the world, that is all that you need to do to maintain a healthy relationship with food. No taboo foods, no dieting or depriving, just fully conscious, educated and mindful eating choices and you will never have any reason to feel bad about anything that you eat ever again. 

Everyone would like to find that one special person that they can spend the rest of their days with; well pretty much everyone. I am sure that there probably are completely autonomous people out there who do not crave intimacy or long for a life partner, but when it comes to the average Joe's of the world like myself, well we just want to feel like we can hang out with someone that gets us, loves us for  who we are and ultimately can put up with our shit when we are not at our best. And when you do find someone like that, you are going to want to hang on to them forever. But how do you know for sure that you have actually found 'the one' that you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Well, short answer is that you don't know, not really, not 100%. Okay yes, there are all of those initial fuzzy, glowy, feel good vibes that you get when you first hook up with someone, but you can also get those in short term relationships that turn to shit, so they really aren't the best indication that your relationship has the minerals to be everlasting and lifelong. I think that the only way that you can be somewhat certain in the beginning stages is when you have completely bared your mind, body and soul to a person and they still want in. And this type of baring of the self can take anywhere from 12 months to 20 years to establish (depending on your level of openness) so this is a pretty gradual process, an unfolding if you will. However, generally, anyone that can accept all of your flaws, love you unconditionally and accept you at your sickest, weakest and meanest moments is definitely worth considering as a life partner in my opinion. 
Some couples stay together for years and years and still never really get to know each other very well, in fact this is more common than you might think. However, if both parties can be completely transparent with each other, I believe that this is really good start when it comes to laying a solid lifelong foundation of togetherness. However, just as equally important for longevity is common ground and similar values and ethics, because clearly a smack head and a deeply pious catholic, regardless of their ability to be transparent with each other are not necessarily going to make the best lifelong bedfellows are they? As a couple, you simply must have some ethical consistencies in order to thrive, without this there will never be smooth sailing and it is inevitable that the relationship will come to a conclusion, quite possibly an unpleasant one.  
When all of the initial infatuation and fascination wears away (and it does because humans take things for granted - even really good relationships) if you don't have some common ground, united front and shared values, well honestly, you're gonna be fucked pretty quickly. And when I say common ground I mean something more substantial than both of you being into jasmine green tea. I'm talking ethics and general life philosophy. You don't need to be identical, but on some issues you will need to find common ground to be able to have harmony and longitude in your relationship. 
And differences, well they're going to matter as well and regardless of how charming, attractive and wonderful your partner may be, you're going to need some space from them at times as well. Nothing wrong with sharing loads of quality time together, but the saying too much of a good thing can happen in relationships, so some seperation of time and interests is also important to keep things in balance. I for one would've left my husband years ago if we'd been working, resting and playing together all of the time, love him as dearly as I do,  I don't want to be around him all of the time and our very different interests have ensured that we have both enjoyed some mutually appreciated 'away from each other' time. 
But don't take my word for it, I've only been married for 25 years, what the hell do I know about long term relationships? Jokes, I do actually know a shit load about it and I definitely know that at the heart of it all, there are no guarantees with any of it. You can never be 100% sure that the person you choose to be with now will be the same one that you are going to want to wake next to in 10, 20 or 50 years time. And maybe that uncertainty, that gamble that you take with your own heart, that leap of faith into the unknown, maybe it is just another part of the magic and joy of it all anyway.
I do however know that staying in a meaningful long term relationship takes lots of work and a great deal of compromise and a shit tonnes of your own personal time; and there will be times when it feels like none of the effort is worth the struggle, but trust me when I say that it is. That for every rough day there will be a grand day and for every struggle that you endure together you will become stronger and more aware of each others truths and lives. And as long as one of you is always in there batting for you both to stay together, then odds are that you probably will. Odds are that you'll wake up and look at your perfectly imperfect partner one day and wonder how you could ever manage a day without them, and I suppose that will be the day that you can know for sure that they are  the one that you want; hopefully forever. 

With COVID-19 numbers having a sudden resurgence in Victoria, driving yet another four weeks of 'state of emergency' alarm bells, there is nothing better than having a good laugh to take your mind off it all. I mean sure, I don't want to be flippant, but really what can you or I even do about a global pandemic except stay home and find new ways to distract ourselves from it all? Nothing that's what. This bloody pandemic is beginning to feel a lot like being in the goddamn mafia - every time that you think that you're out, they pull you back in! And all of this push and pull on restrictions is quite frankly exhausting and annoying.
So here I go, I am about to try and distract you from all of the woah, annoyance and confusion by sharing with you a couple of my favourite jokes. Will they make you laugh? Well, I hope so, but in the very least they will provide you with at least 5 minutes of distraction and right now, who doesn't need more of that? So here goes nothing....
Best Clean Jokes:
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish. 
What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table. 
Best Racial Joke:
What would The Jetsons be called if they were black?
The Jetsons, you fucking racist!
Best Religious Joke:
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Best Knock-Knock Joke:
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream Soda
Ice cream Soda Who?
(screamed out loud) I scream soda people can hear me!
Best Chicken Joke:
Why did the chicken go to a seance?
​To get to the other side.
Best Animal Joke:
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds. 
Best Chuck Norris Joke:
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realised he was just masturbating. 
Best Sex Joke:
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. 
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, he's still wearing his prison clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!" 
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"
The Joke That I Always Tell When I'm Asked to Deliver a Joke (adults only):
A couple were on holidays in the Greek islands. Whilst they were there they enjoyed a cruise around the beautiful Aegean sea, listening to their guide tell them all about the ancient Greek myths surrounding the area and the hidden city of Atlantis.
As they made their way back to the shore they noticed that the boat's captain had a head the size of a tennis ball, which struck them both as odd and quite disturbing. The woman could not stop staring at the captain's head and as they disembarked he approached the lady and said to her "I noticed you staring at my head earlier."
"Yes" she replied embarrassed, "I am very sorry if I offended you."
"It's okay," said the captain, "it happens all of the time. There is actually a mythological story as to how I got this way, would you like to hear it?"
"Yes," said the couple sitting down to enjoy another wonderous ancient tale. 
"One day," started the captain, "not far from this very shore, I was out fishing. As I pulled up my net, inside I realised that I had caught something very special."
"What was it?" the couple asked.
"It was a mermaid, a real life mermaid. And she was the most beautiful creature that I have ever laid my eyes upon."
"Wow" said the couple.
"Yes, and as I hauled her up onto the boat I was stunned by her incredible beauty and she said that she would grant me any wish that I wanted if only I would let her go free." 
"What did you wish for?" asked the couple.
"Well, naturally because of her incredible beauty I asked her to make love to me, but she said she could not. 'I have only a tail and no womanly body parts, so I cannot make love to you.' she said to me"
"So what did you ask her for instead?" asked the couple.
"I asked her for a little head."

I hope that I at least made you smile a little today!

Everyone knows what it feels like to have a gut feeling about something, that knot in the pit of your stomach that tells you that something is off or just doesn't sit well. Some people call it their sixth sense, Stephen King called it 'The Shining' and most of us just prefer to call it what it is, our intuition. And regardless of what name you like to give it, your intuition can be a very powerful and useful tool that can help you to stay of trouble, know when you're on to a winner and steer you onto the right path. And for those very same reasons your intuition is certainly not something that I think you should ignore.
However, there is a fine line between being attuned to your intuition and appearing completely batshit bonkers to the rest of the world. Anyone that invests 100% of their decision making processes to their intuition alone is probably going to making some pretty whacky life choices because although useful, that gut feeling or voice inside your head is not always completely accurate and sometimes you have over-ride your instincts and employ some good old fashioned common sense and logic. 
The human brain is wired to find patterns from our experiences and most of this happens to us on a subconscious level. What many people aren't aware of is that 95% of our brain activity actually occurs at this subconscious level and our body is always at work taking in information, finding patterns and triggering neurochemicals that exist not only in our brains but also in our gut. This is what forms our intuition and creates those gut feelings that something is either good or bad. The problem with this is that we do all of this subconscious thinking at much faster rate than we do our rational conscious thinking, we have to or else we would all have meltdowns trying to decide what to wear or eat for breakfast each day, so this process is really important and keeps us moving along and not getting hung up on the details. However, it moves at a fever pitch and this fast brained intuitive thinking is not always where we are doing our best thinking. 
Our intuitive thoughts are not only created by our current situation but also by our past experiences, which can be why people get a really good or bad feeling about certain things, it's because they have had a similar experience before and they are drawing from that deep well of memories. It can make people seem like they have great instincts, but really they just have a shit tonne of experience around a certain situation and have a deeper well to draw from as a consequence of that experience. However, even years of experience can't stop a person's instincts from getting it wrong sometimes and that's because intuition also relies upon cognitive biases like overconfidence, unresolved emotions or feelings and selected attentions and this can prevent people from seeing a situation clearly for what it is. And for this reason, we need to be careful not to rely only on our intuition but also on our logical thinking as well. 
​By realizing that intuition has its flaws, then you can start to ground your instincts by employing more data and logic to the situation. You can consciously counteract your fast brained thinking (subconscious) with your slow brained thinking (conscious) and employ more reasoning, perspective and balance to your decision making. Remember that just because your gut is sending you a message, which may feel very strong and correct to you, it doesn't automatically make it correct and you need to use your logic to determine whether it is or isn't reasonable. 
It really is a case of balancing both your intuition and your logic when it comes to sound thought processes, good decision making and accurate problem solving. Neither is less important than the other, and together they make for a pretty formidable team. So, whether your constantly enlisting the gut feeling of your 'Shining' or checking all the facts and data before making any choices, I would actually recommend that you pay attention to both of those methods now that you have an awareness that neither is more important than the other. Because when it comes to intuition vs logic, there really is no clear winner, you do need both and you should use both as often as you can. 

It has been two full weeks since my operation and I now have one full month to go before I have to return to work, and thank goodness for that because the recovery from this operation has been slow to say the least. However, I am getting a little stronger each day and have even managed to walk for a full 16 minutes around my neighbourhood, which given the fact that the walk from my bed to bathroom and back was taxing me only 10 days ago, I do believe that this is a sign of good and steady growth. 
The thing that is killing me about my recovery is that it feels a lot like it is two steps forward and one step back, which for me is incredibly frustrating. I am the sort of person that expects only forward development when it comes to the business of getting better and I can get very disheartened when there are setbacks. This in and of itself has been a valuable and important life lesson for me, the learning and accepting that sometimes things take time and that sometimes all that you can do is rest and wait until the path ahead is clear for take off. Much easier said than done but there is certainly something profoundly important developing from this new learning. 
So, I am embarking on what I am calling 'a month of wellness.' A full month of focusing on getting well and hopefully a little bit better each day. This month will see me eating healthier, exercising mindfully (and slowly no doubt), meditating and engaging in only in the things that I choose to do. How wonderful does that sound? I am going to fully and completely listen to my body, my spirit and myself for one full month and hopefully by the end of it I will emerge refreshed, reinvigorated and rejuvenated.... well that's the plan anyway. And even if I am not feeling 100% better by the end of it all, at least I will know that I have given wellness my very best shot. 
So it is the 'deep healing' that I am currently seeking, not some random bandaid fixer-upper. I want to feel well, and not just okay, but really really well. I finally got rid of an organ that was literally poisoning my body and causing me so many other health complications and getting rid of that feels like an opportunity for a complete reboot of the system and a chance to reclaim my wellness completely. Unbeknownst to me, this stupid uterus of mine was actually the reason behind a lot of my unwellness, both physically, mentally and emotionally and I am so ready to come back again stronger than ever from it all.
I see absolutely no reason not to believe that against all of the odds and complications that I can actually make 2020 my year, just as I had set out to do before 2020 turned out to be the biggest shit sandwich of a year in history. But hey, it's only June and that still gives me 6 months to turn this weathered old ship around and head for a brand new shore. So here goes nothing, at this point I certainly don't have anything to lose and with 'a month of wellness' ahead of me, I only have everything to gain. So watch this space for updates as I rise like a phoenix from the ashes...well maybe more like a Peanut Butter Falcon from the couch... as I shift from recovery mode to total rejuvenation in only one months time! Well, here's to hoping so anyway!

THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M
Running Time: 93 minutes 
An American adventure drama, written and directed by Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz who both make their feature directorial debuts here. This touching, amusing and genuinely empowering story became a sleeper hit (an unforeseen success at the box office) and ended up being the highest grossing independent film of the year in 2019. 
Zak, a young man with Down's Syndrome, runs away from a residential nursing home to pursuit his dreams of attending the professional wrestling school of his idol, The Saltwater Redneck. A strange turn of events sees him paired with Tyler, a trouble man that is also on the run. 
Shia LaBeouf is the best that he has been in an age as Tyler, the roughneck yet sensitive river man and Zack Gottsagen delivers an earnest and unfiltered version of himself that can only be described as deeply empowering and utterly inspirational. This feelgood adventure will undoubtedly warm your heart and lift your spirits, it's a winner on every front. 
FINAL SAY: Friends are the family you choose.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Amidst the confusion and calamity of COVID-19, America manages to throw itself even further into turmoil with thousands of people taking to the streets in protest of the brutal murder of George Floyd, a 46 year old black man who died in police custody in May. Poor Floyd can clearly be seen in a viral Youtube video being suffocated to death by a police officer who has his knee forced into Floyd's throat as he gasps and pleads 'I can't breathe' - but they do not show any mercy, and he dies because of a cruel and corrupt American authority system that feels entitled to use inhumane force and reckless violence against its citizens. 
As the world watched in horror, the American public completely broke over this latest demonstration of societal inequality and they rose up in anger. Some chose to peacefully demonstrate, others used more force and in some cases stores were looted and protesters were brutally attacked in scenes that felt more like they belonged in a post-apocalyptic movie rather than on the streets of a first world country. 
And although it would appear that this is all due to George Floyd death, in reality although clearly awful, Floyd's death was merely the straw the broke the very overburdened backs of the American people. George Floyd was a spark in a powder keg of disgruntled, beaten down and fed up citizens that had finally had enough of the oppression and sheer disregard of their welfare by the leaders and law enforcement of their country, the very people who are supposed to be serving and protecting them. Between the coronavirus, the record levels of unemployment and the years and years of African American deaths and criminal frame ups from the police, this mass protest was well overdue. 
So Trump has truly made his bed, his very ugly bed and now he must lie down in it. Do I feel sorry for him? Of course I don't, and even though I would never advocate anarchy in the streets I cannot help but feel like this latest outpouring of anger and demonstration from the people of America is more than warranted and seriously overdue. The dragging down, the corruption and the maldistribution of support and care in that country simply has to stop, and if that means taking it to the streets and getting loud about it, well so be it I say.
I just hope that they will take this fervent energy with them to the polling booths at the next election and start to show more care for who they elect to speak for them in the future because there is only way that any of this is going to change and that's by cutting the head off the beast itself. Donald Trump has proven himself to be nothing short of psychopathic since the whole COVID-19 pandemic began, and when he isn't advising his people to go out and drink bleach as a Coronavirus preventative, he is generally otherwise busy inciting fear, promoting corruption and generally acting like a bible swinging lunatic. If this doesn't get the Americans rallied together to vote him out, then nothing will now. 
This latest uprising around George Floyd, I believe is just the beginning. In 1967 Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. called for a 'revolution of values' because of the continuous cycle of social inequity and police brutality that the African Americans were enduring, and this form of civil rights movement is beginning to come into play again today. Fairness and justice are worth fighting for and now that the American people have gained some momentum and worldwide attention and support they will not be going quietly into the night with this, they are going to keep this momentum going and they are going to make changes.
A time of revolution is most definitely upon us, not just upon the Americans, but upon us all. What we are all witnessing right now is an extremely significant and important time in history, a time that you will talk about with your families for years to come, a time when all of the oppressors will be held accountable for their choices and democracy shall prevail. It's the start of something big and extremely overdue, so bring on the revolution I say, you have my full support. No-one in this world should have to fight for equitable treatment, it should just occur and I look forward to the abolition of all of these barbaric, archaic and unwanted behaviours, let's make the assholes accountable! Viva La Revolution! Power to the People! But most of all, watch this space because things are going to change and it will be wonderful to see the people win and the bad guys all finally get their comeuppances. 

It has almost been ten days since my operation and I am just beginning to resurface from the anesthetic, drug and pain induced coma that I have been existing in ever since the doctor removed my uterus. And wow, I really have to say that having a hysterectomy has completely topped the charts on my 'shittiest life experiences yet' list. There is nothing more sobering, more painful or more difficult to adjust to than having one of your major organs removed from your body, and this entire experience has made me realise just how truly unwell I was for quite some time because the state of that revolting uterus was anything but healthy. 
​I have to be honest, the only other time that I have ever had to go to hospital for a major or life changing procedure was to deliver my children so it would be fair to say that I am certainly no veteran of the knife or the ways of the surgeon. And hopefully, this will be the last experience that I am going to need for a very long time (praying forever) because I really did not enjoy having the hysterectomy, waking up just after having the hysterectomy or the first ten days of weird crap that has followed the hysterectomy.
What actually happens to the space that is left behind after you have had an organ removed from your body? Well, I can tell you that it rapidly gets filled up by all of your other oozing organs that are just happy to have some breathing room back again and what that means is intense weirdness; crazy intense weirdness as your body tries to adjust to what is now that the new norm. And I know that my other organs would undoubtedly be celebrating the exit of my hideously enlarged uterus and its various attached components because the darn thing had gotten so large that it had literally fused itself onto my bladder, spreading out like a disgusting blob and taking over every crevice of my abdomen that it could seep into. It seriously reminded me of the movie The Blob when I heard about my uterus' unquenching penchant for bogarting my entire pelvic region. A gross gelatinous abnormality, living right there inside of me! How fucking disgusting is that? 
Anyway, that bitch is gone for good now and has taken with it every period that I was ever destined to have. Can I get an Amen? What I now have left behind are two ovaries, which may well be floating about in the space inside of me anywhere for all that I know about what actually happened to me, but the doctor assured me that they were healthy and that if I kept them I would have a healthier and more natural menopause. And apparently preserving my ovaries will also ensure that I still continue to produce estrogen, thus saving me from facial hair, a deeper voice and the possibility of ever growing a penis - just kidding I don't actually think that last one can actually happen, but who wants to take any chances at this stage right? I just got rid of my bloody uterus the last thing I want right now is a dick and balls! 
So yeah, all aboard the female hell express, next stop menopause! I mean come on, really? It just never actually ever stops for women does it? First the periods, then the childbearing, then the hysterectomy and now the menopause, and I'm not even 50 yet so this all feels rather premature to me. However, I must admit that for all of my hating on the actual procedure of the hysterectomy, I think that once my body stops being weird ass central that I will actually be glad that I have had it done. Not only did I get rid of The Blob, but I may even be able to have an abdomen that doesn't look like a swallowed a beach ball one day. That day is certainly not today though, because my post-op belly looks so disgusting that I can't even deal with the sight of it at the moment. It's black and blue and that gross yellow/ green that bruises develop as they heal and don't ask me how this is possible, but my abdomen also genuinely seems bloated, tight and yet also flabby at the same time - how is that even possible? Another hysterectomy mystery I suppose!
You know, I stupidly thought that nothing would ever feel as unsettlingly abnormal in my body as the feeling of being pregnant (which literally felt like I was incubating an face hugging Alien embryo inside of me) but pregnancy has nothing on the continuous shifting, lilting, reconfiguration and strange involuntary realignment of my innards right now. I'm actually half expecting to wake up with an ovary sticking out my cheek one morning. I can feel my insides moving about and jostling for rank in there and quite frankly it's straight up horrible. Sort of a mixture of nausea, gas, cramps, aches and a lot of asking myself 'what the hell was that?' and 'that's normal right?'
However, in true Spicywatch fashion, I have resigned myself to the fact that this too shall pass and that one day over the next few weeks I will eventually wake up and not feel like a very freaky laboratory experiment anymore, but more like myself again.
​These are my current meditation mantras, and call me crazy, they do seem to be helping me to remain optimistic and on track to a full recovery. Yep, I'm on my way to complete wellness and I'm not stopping until I get there:

• Pain is part of growing.
• Everything in life is temporary.
• Worry and complaining changes nothing.
• Your scars are your symbols of strength.
• Every little struggle is a step forward. 
• What's meant to be will eventually be.
• The best thing you can do is keep going. 

Spicywatch.com celebrated its 6th birthday this weekend. However, unlike previous years when I gathered together some movie loving friends to share in the joy of cinema with me, due to COVID-19, this year I didn't actually do anything at all. There was no sharing of favourite movie clips, no eating, drinking and merry chatter about the latest fabulous movie or cinema experience that people have enjoyed; nope this year Spicywatch had to quietly sit back and turn 6 without any fanfare or celebration. 
This could be just as well for my friends who are not fans of horror, because a sixth birthday does seem like the most opportune moment to bust out favourite macabre movie clips in the name of a '666' themed movie celebration, but I guess that will have to wait until Spicywatch's 13th birthday now, so to all of my horror hating friends, you really dodged a bullet there! 
However, in spite of quietly going about her business, Spicywatch.com has actually grown quite substantially over the last 12 months and is now being enjoyed by over 6 million people around the globe... jokes! I'm not IMDb for God's sake, but Spicywatch has continued to gain a loyal and slowly growing audience of people that seem to respect my opinions about movies and there are now 821 reviews in total to be found on my genre lists. 
Turns out that I only added a mere 31 movies to my genre lists in the last year, which means that I must have watched a lot of crap because I know for sure that I actually watched 212 films in 2019. Unsurprisingly, only 31 of them were 3 Chilli Peppers or more and I think this is probably pretty accurate. After all, after a lifetime of movie watching I have only reviewed 821 films in total which, if we start the age count at say 14 (which is around the time that I seriously started to adore movies) then that means that I should have added around 25 films every year to my blog to get to where I am, so if you think statistically I have actually enjoyed a higher than average contingency of movies that I have watched this year overall. 
And it easy to see why, the last year was a really strong one as far as high quality films were concerned; with incredible film-making now becoming the norm. Every year the bar gets raised, and in all truth it has to because audiences are more discerning and demanding now. People are smart and woke and they want sharp viewing experiences as a direct consequence of that, which means that mediocre cinema experiences are just not cutting it anymore.
Generally I added around 5 films to most of my genre lists, but there was a definite burst happening on my drama, art house/foreign, gritty/documentary lists. This is not surprising to me, with unforgettably good movies like The Lighthouse, Little Women, Marriage Story, Parasite, Shadow, 1917, The Nightingale, They Shall Not Grow Old and Hail Satan? all leaving their marks and impressions upon me over the last 12 months. 
I have banked a huge list of movies and TV series to binge on over the next few weeks, and I must apologise if I might seem to slide off the radar for a little while as I am heading in to hospital on Friday for a procedure that will put me out of actions for around 4 to 6 weeks. And although you may not hear from me, I can assure you that I will be viewing movies, taking notes and reviewing again as soon as I am fit and able to do so. 
Many thanks and much love to my regular Spicywatch readers and supporters that have for 6 years now, offered me regular check ins and greatly appreciated comments of support, feedback and kindness.
​Until next time, stay well and take care. 

HAIL SATAN?
Release Date: 2019
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 95 mins 
An American documentary film about The Satanic Temple, outlining its origins and grassroots political activism.  Directed by Penny Lane, this documentary highlights the efforts of the Satanic movement in their attempts to preserve the separation of church and state against the privilege of the Christian right. 
Through a series of public demonstrations designed to advocate for religious freedom, The Satanic Temple push their mostly unwelcomed agenda and force many Americans to address the clearly corrupt authority of Christianity within their country. Lead my their enigmatic co-founder and spokesperson Lucien Greaves, this group of misunderstood outsiders band together and use their wit, charm and mischievous nature's to speak the truth, managing to ruffle more than a few feathers along the way. 
This is a great documentary that will challenge your preconceived ideas about both the Satanic movement and the Christian faith movement as well. And although you may not necessarily agree with all of the unorthodox demonstration methods of The Satanic Temple, you will not be able to deny their intelligent, witty and mostly entertaining advocacies for justice and equality. 
FINAL SAY:​ In the fight for justice, the devil's work is never done.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​