I have been chatting with a lot of people about success lately. And in general I think that most people measure success based on income, belongings, assets and achievements. Not everyone does, but many do. I think that it is the nature of the world to measure success by how much you have or how much you have to offer, but this feels wrong to me and it doesn't sit well with me. 
And let me explain my thinking here. I clearly have more than I could ever want for in this life, or any life for that matter, especially when it comes to my living conditions. I am super fortunate and for that I am eternally grateful. I have a beautiful home, a good car, a decent job that affords me many things, regular holidays and pretty much whatever I want when I want it. This in itself makes me far more well-off than millions of people on the planet, but I could compare myself to people who have much more money than myself and think - wow, I'm actually a failure. I don't have as much as....blah blah...and I haven't done enough with my life....I should have.....in the bank by now....I should be further along financially....I haven't …..
And I could go on and on and on, but I won't because I don't actually feel that way at all. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because I know that I am not. And that is because I do not measure success based on income, belongings, assets or achievements. I think that real success looks totally different to that and it has nothing to do with money, property, profession or status. 
I think that real success looks and feels quite different to what most people assume that success will look like. 
To me real success is:

• enjoying and experiencing authentic relationships 
• having a regulated nervous system
• not comparing yourself to others
• showing up for yourself
• having a kind inner dialogue 
• being able to let go 
• owning your own behaviour 
• being aware of your words
• meeting personal goals 
• having authentic connections
• keeping healthy boundaries
• accepting your humanness and the humanness of others
• living your life in a way that feels right for you 
• being forgiving
• feeling positive about your future and yourself 
• showing gratitude easily 
• exchanging love and being willing to be vulnerable 

That's real success to me, that's the stuff that make people complete and whole. All that other stuff is lovely, don't get me wrong, the money and the assets make life comfortable and easy, but are they the true measure of success? 
We all know that some people have a lot of wealth in this world, at their fingertips 24/7 and it may make them feel like they are successful, but we also know that it can bring with it greed, anger, bitterness, selfishness or loneliness as well.
There are some successes that money cannot afford, and they are the successes that I am looking for in my life, they are the priceless things that make me feel grateful, wealthy and joyful; and I willingly invite more of that success into my life any day of the week. 

BREAD AND TULIPS 
Release Date: 2000
Rating: PG 13
Running Time:  114 mins 
An Italian romantic comedy directed by Silvio Soldini that delivers a perfect hit of hopeful joy and renewed self discovery that is both refreshing and entertaining to watch.
Rosalba starts to see the realities of her marriage when her husband leaves her behind whilst on a family holiday. Tired of her routine as a housewife and under appreciated mother, Rosalba embarks on a trip to finally see Venice and experience a new way of being. 
Bread and Tulips is a lot like Shirley Valentine in premise but it contained a lot more heartfelt interactions, way less sarcasm and a lot less sex. Rosalba's charming character is just impossible to not fall in love with and she is perfectly portrayed by the always lovely Lucia Maglietta. The casting here is truly great, and I especially enjoyed Bruno Ganz as Fernando, Marina Massironi  as Gazia and Guiseppe Battiston as the hilarious plumber come private detective, Costantino.
This is a terrific slice of Italian cinema and a heart-warming tale that shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I felt my phoenix rise from the ashes. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

My mindful practises have expanded over the school holiday break and I am now embracing slow living. Slow living is kind of like mindfulness, but it is really more focused on grounding and re-setting yourself than needing to be mindful.  Lord knows that I spend a lot of time in mindful contemplation, so the idea of just switching off every now and again, or just doing something for the utter joy of it certainly has great appeal to me also, and nothing provides more time to meander and marinate than a school holiday term break, so I've been embracing the slow with both hands. 
To be totally honest, I actually do crave slow, even though I am often moving at break neck speed and over filling my life to the brim with exciting adventures and opportunities. From time to time I just have to escape everyone and everything for a few days and I will find myself searching for slow rather than mindful ways of being. And one of the best things about slow living is that it totally fills my hedonist bucket because there is a lot of 5 senses stimulation involved in slow living, and who doesn't want more of that action?
Still not sure what slow living might involve? Well here's a list of ways to kick your slow cooker into gear:

• Spending 15 minutes outside with a good coffee in the morning.
• Eating by candlelight.
• Not using your phone/Ipad/device for an entire day.
• Picking out a new books at the library/ bookstore. 
• Selecting a new gin/ whiskey or wine at a tasting.
• Picking fruit/ vegetables or herbs. 
• Listening to an audio book in the bath. 
• Making your own pizza - base and all. 
• Watching the sunrise or sunset. 
• Writing in a journal.
• Having a long breakfast or brunch and making it from scratch. 
• Giving someone a really long hug or cuddling on the couch.
• Having a candlelight shower.
• Sketching, painting or modelling without purpose or plan. 
• Wearing your cosiest clothes all day. 
• Making a pot of soup and homemade bread. 
• Cutting flowers from your garden and arranging them. 
• Hanging at the farmers market and tasting something new. 
• Listening to music or watching an old classic movie. 
• Handwriting someone a letter. 
• Reading in bed. 
• Knitting, sewing, crocheting or stitching something. 
• Changing the linen on your bed. 
• Finding a new cheese at the local deli. 
• Sleeping in and having breakfast in bed. 
• Planting vegetables, herbs or flowers. 
• Baking biscuits or cupcakes.

Getting the idea now? Slow and steady, deeply enjoyable, filled with sensorial joy and just what one needs when they are on an early spring break. Ah, slow living, if only all the days could be so marvellously gentle. 

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN
Release Date: 1948
Rating: PG
Running Time: 83 mins 
If you haven't yet had the joy of seeing this cult classic, do yourself a favour and take a look. Considered the 'OG' of the horror/comedy genre, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is a treasure-trove of classic horror iconography and mighty fine example of old school slapstick comedy. 
Baggage clerks Chick and Wilbur are given the unfortunate job of delivering two large crates to a 'house of horrors' wax museum. Unbeknownst to them, the contents of the crates is none other than Count Dracula in his coffin and Frankenstein's monster, both of whom awaken and with the help of a femme fatale named Dr. Sandra Mornay, begin to exact a devious plan. 
There are few things to really love about this film, the first is seeing Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula, Glen Strange as Frankenstein's monster, Vincent Price as the Invisible Man (keep your ear open for that one) and Lon Chaney Jnr as the Wolfman. The other thing that I really enjoyed was that they chose to make the real villain behind it all a woman, which wasn't a plot line utilised a lot back in the day, and last but not least; well how can you not love a bit of Lou Costello? With his over acting, wheezy, bumbling gestures and silly carry on, he totally steals the show. For me, this is the finest offering that Abbott and Costello have made together and it shouldn't be missed. 
FINAL SAY: I've had this brain for thirty years. It hasn't done me any good!
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been sharing two sessions a week of mindfulness with my fellow co-workers. These sessions run for 20 short minutes twice a week and offer the staff an opportunity to engage in a range of mindful activities, meditations and contemplations. I have loved researching and running these sessions and find the undertaking of them deeply enjoyable. As you would well know, I adore the practise of mindfulness and being able to share that passion with others has been extremely joyful for me. 
So far we have engaged in:

• Tai Chi
• Gratitude 
• Sound bath
• Clay Therapy
• The Sound of the Bell Practise
• Contemplative Drawing 
• Mind Body Spirit - candle meditation
• Energy Exchange
• Mindful Walking
• Mindful Eating
• Yoga
• The Four Stones Meditation
• Music interpretation through Art
• NSDR - No Sleep Deep Rest
• Self Worth Meditation
• Slow Art 
• Qigong
• Becoming Whole Meditation
• Colour and Chakra Therapy
• Self Belief and Self Talk Contemplation

Through creating these two small sessions each week, I have really dug down, exploring the possibilities and the opportunities to engage in mindfulness in meaningful ways that are not only accessible for the complete novice, but also interesting and entertaining as well. Some sessions have generated up to 14 staff members, others only 3 or 4, but in all honesty the numbers of attendance are neither here nor there to me, it's that fact that I get to share a practise with others that I am genuinely invested in and completely believe in. 
Mindfulness does work, and better yet, it's not a religion or a fad or a doctrine, it's just a way of being and it does deliver profound and long lasting results. Anyone can do it and anyone can benefit from incorporating more mindfulness into their lives. I wish that delivering mindfulness sessions could become my full time job - is there such as a thing as a mindfulness consultant? I must look into that, I would just love to help others to find their bliss every single day - what a marvellous and meaningful job that would be! 

​PINK FLOYD - THE WALL
Release Date: 1982
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 95 mins 
A mixture of live action visuals speckled with various styles of animation, Pink Floyd - The Wall delivers an assault to the senses with its extraordinary surrealist soundtrack and controversial and political storyline. The movie delves head first into some emotionally and challenging territory by exploring themes of rejection, depression, oppression and exploitation, in startling and creative ways.
Rock star Pink is driven to madness by the pressures of his stardom and the traumatic events of his life. In order to survive he constructs an emotional and mental wall around himself, which leaves him numb and seeking escape. 
Pink Floyd - The Wall  is truly timeless, I've seen it at least once every decade since I was 15 and every time that I see it, I experience the material in a new way, and I can assure you that the message that it delivers is no less affecting now than it was in the '80s.
A very young Bob Geldof plays Pink with a convincing level of mania and the entire experience is unforgettably affecting and also disturbing in the most psychedelic ways; it's a definite must see movie experience that you won't forget in a hurry. 
FINAL SAY: I have become comfortably numb. 
4 Chilli Peppers

This week I have been mindfully contemplating the concept of worth.
In a world that often measures success and personal worth based on material wealth or external accomplishments, it’s easy to forget our intrinsic value. However, it is important to remember that our worth goes far beyond our accomplishments or material possessions. And we must work hard to remember that we all matter and we all have great worth, and not because of what we do or what we have, but simply because we exist.
Your presence in this world is a gift, and your unique contributions enrich the lives of those around you in ways you may not realize. Take a moment to consider the impact you have on others — the smile you give, the comfort you provide, and the kindness you share. Your presence has certainly left an indelible mark in the hearts of those who know you, and there are many people who will be very happy to hear your news, laugh along with you, and enjoy your warmth.
It’s easy to underestimate our self-worth, especially in a society that often fosters self-doubt and self-comparison. However, it is important to recognize our inherent goodness and accept our worthiness without reservation. You are inherently entitled to love, happiness, and fulfilment, simply for being human. 
As the famous philosopher, Marcus Aurelius once said, “Do you know how many perfect moments unfold before your eyes? Do you know how many you have had? Do you know how many peaceful quiet nights you have experienced, how many hearts have loved you, how many people want to see your name pop up on their phones right now? Do you know how important you are? Do you know how good you are?”
These words remind us of the importance of our existence and the beauty that surrounds us every day. And never forget that your worth has not diminished, reduced or changed since the day that you arrived here on Earth and took your very first breath as a newborn baby.  And right here, right now, you are enough, just as you are, and the world is so much brighter because you are in it. You're priceless and don't you ever forget your worth and exceptional value. 

LEO
Release Date: 2023
Rating: G
Running Time: 102 mins 
An animated musical comedy directed by Robert Marianetti, Robert Smigel and David Wachtenheim and produced by Happy Madison Productions. This unexpectedly heart-warming and enjoyable children's film speaks volumes about a child's need for a reliable soundboard in their life and the power of a class pet.
Leo the lizard has been stuck in the same school and the same reptile enclosure with Squirtle the turtle for a very long time. So long that he has only just realised that his time may be up very soon. Determined to experience a full life, Leo sets out to explore the world at large and invertedly becomes a class guidance counsellor when he discovers that the children in the class can hear him when he speaks. 
Leo is a really funny movie, I laughed out loud several times and since I work in a school myself, I thought that material was actually relatable and quite accurate. Adam Sandler and Bill Burr do a terrific job of voicing Leo and Squirtle and the entire movie delivers with a sweet charm that I highly recommend. Leo may well be the hidden gem of kids movies for 2023. 
FINAL SAY: Enjoy not knowing everything. Enjoy being a kid. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

The definition of ‘being whole’ means being ‘complete in and of itself’. Therefore, you can feel whole without being dependent on someone else to fill in any missing parts of yourself. The words 'you feel complete' can rustle up a lot of mixed feelings for people, because I find that in general, many people rarely, if ever, actually feel complete. 
From early on in our lives, we are taught that other people influence our wholeness and that people’s opinions and expectations of us are very important. This kind of conditioning takes seed and roots down deeply within us, building in our conscious and unconscious minds and allowing us to form unhealthy relationships with our sense of self and our ability to feel whole as we are. 
Many of us will spend our days trying so hard to be perfect that we may even begin to don social masks or perform in certain ways to try and please others, and in the process we may actually lose some sense of ourselves and move further and further away from being our whole true selves.
So what does being whole actually mean if it doesn’t depend on anyone else? 
Being whole means to be ourselves and to believe in oneself. You don’t feel the need to change everything about yourself or hide your passions or your truths to fit in. You don’t believe that you are too full of problems to be loved and instead realise that no one is perfect. In its rawest form, being whole is means being at peace and comfort with who you are at all times. 
The biggest factor in being whole is being healthy. Not just physically healthy, but mentally and spiritually as well. Lots of people incorrectly confuse physical health with wholeness, but this is only one slice of a very large pie of wholeness. If we are lacking in spirituality, or have poor mental health due to anxiety or stress, we will struggle with being or feeling whole. This is why some people, in spite of having very good physical health and financial wealth will still struggle to feel whole. 
Anger, worries, and fears that we hold on to are things that cause us to lose some of our wholeness. With everything we try to carry and every hidden burden we bear, we have to drop a part of ourselves in order to carry it. Every time we compromise a part of ourselves to compensate for our challenging feelings, we lose a piece of our wholeness. Doing this time and time again, over many years, will lead to a massive deficit in our sense of self and our ability to feel whole. 
This is why I often remind people of the importance of meditation. It allows you to look into yourself, and find what you are missing to make yourself whole. You can focus on positive thoughts and put down some of your stresses and worries. It has been the number one best thing that I have taken up to improve my overall wellness and increase my ability to feel whole and I cannot imagine my life without meditation now. 
And contrary to what people think, you do not need to be sitting crossed legged on a cushion chanting 'OM' to be meditating. Meditation can also be:

• Mindful Practises like art therapy or breathe work
• Counting mala beads
• Listening to gongs or sound bowls or having sound baths
• Moon or star gazing
• Eating in meditation
• Fire, flame or smoke watching
• Movement like qigong, tai chi, yoga, gardening and walking.
• ​Mantra chanting
• Water or bath relaxation 
• 5 sense visualisations 
• Contemplations 
• Mindful colouring in

Try some methods for yourself, see if any of these options allow you to get back to a sense of wholeness or inner wellness. Remember that wholeness is a mind, body and spirit practise, and undoing years of programming takes time, so go gently with yourself, try not to have any expectations and most of all - enjoy the journey. I hope that you can find your way home and back to a better sense of wholeness within yourself through the practise of meditation. 

THE IRON CLAW
Release Date: 2024 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 132 mins 
A biographical sports drama film, written and directed by Sean Durkin about the Von Erich's, a family of famous professional wrestlers who appear to be constantly cursed with family troubles and tragedy. With an all star ensemble cast, this tale of family loyalty and parental pressure delivers an emotional and affecting punch that will leave you reaching for the tissue box. 
It's the early 80's and now retired professional wrestler Fritz Von Erich, known for his 'Iron Claw' wrestling move, has married and had five sons. One son died as a child and the other four are constantly groomed and pressured as they grow up to become the next Heavy Weight Wrestling Champion of America, a dream of their fathers that he has now instilled into them. His passion for success drives his entire family not only to push themselves as far as they can go, but beyond and into tragedy.
Essentially this isn't just a tale of tragedy, it is a tale about a corrosive father that systematically destroys his family from the inside out, and at times it is genuinely hard to watch. The cast deliver perfectly, with the fours sons played convincingly by Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson and Stanley Simons. Holt McCallany is tremendous as their overbearing father and Maura Tierney rounds out the cast nicely as the emotionally distant matriarch Doris Von Erich. 
Touching and profoundly disturbing in equal measure, The Iron Claw will make you weepy with its dire and drastic outcomes. 
FINAL SAY: Ever since I was a child, people said my family was cursed. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have really been trying to be mindful and fully engaged with every aspect of my life at the moment. Whether it's work, rest or play, I'm giving it 100% (or as near to that as I can muster) as often as I can. And I have to say that it really does have so many advantages. Mindfulness is not just a fad or a trend, it actually works and if you can master it, the results are super impressive.
The first and most obvious of those results is a bit of no brainer, but it turns out that when you give 100% effort and attention to any task, you tend to get excellent results. No shit Sherlock! But really, it has made me realise that I did spend so much time flitting about between tasks that I was really just doing a lot of things half arsed and also robbing myself of better results. Pretty much everything that I am doing seems to be turning out better than it did when I was trying to multi-task everything. By just doing one thing at a time to the absolute best of my ability I have, in the long run, actually saved myself time and effort because nothing needs to be re-done, re-visited or re-designed, it is great the first time around! Amazing!
Also, and I don't quite know why this is, but time seems to move slower if you are mindfully aware of what you are doing. You know the old saying - a watched pot never boils, well that's kind of what happens when you are mindful of the moment, by giving something 100% of your attention it sort of makes it feel like it is going for a lot longer than it actually is.  The hours really feel like hours, not minutes because you are observing every part of it. Every meal is special, every conversation is filled with meaning and every exchange has purpose. Start thinking like that and nothing will ever feel ordinary or pointless. 
And it shouldn't because (and this my favourite thing about mindfulness) nothing is meaningless, well at least it isn't if you are mindful about about it. Every minute becomes filled with possibility and potential, not one moment is wasted. Everything in your life is purposeful and intentional and suddenly, that makes everything very bloody awesome. 
I can't really explain it, but mindfulness has changed my life massively. So much so that I have been doing mindfulness sessions at work for my colleagues because I am absolutely blown away by how much I have gained from doing mindful practises and being more present in my daily activities. I seem to have so much more time on my hands, so why not share what I found with other people? Seems like a logical outcome to me. Now, I don't know if these sessions are doing anything for anyone else (I  hope they are) but I am really enjoying just doing them anyway, so that feels like a win. And people's attendance is voluntary so it's not like I'm forcing anyone to come along, I am just offering - nothing more, nothing less. I prepare a session, I trial the session on myself and then I share the session; feels kind of lovely really. 
Anyway, I am loving what mindfulness has done for me. It has changed my habits, made me more present in my relationships and friendships, helped me find joy in the mundane and given me pause to smell the flowers, share a cuppa and exchange a kind word with more people; and that is all gravy to me. 

ALL OF US STRANGERS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 105 mins 
A fantasy love film written and directed by Andrew Haigh and based on the 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada. With a kick arse 80's soundtrack and a tale to tug at your heartstrings, All Of Us Strangers delivers a unique, magical and deeply ponderous love story. 
Screenwriter Andrew lives a lonely life in his high rise London apartment, that is until he meets Harry, his drunken neighbour who sets in motion a collision course of love, self- discovery and impossibilities that will change Andrew forever. 
This is a haunting script that explores the ghosts of the past, the present and the future. It is beautifully carried by Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal who both shine brightly in this dazzlingly and unforgettably romantic tale that will certainly bring a tear to your eye.
FINAL SAY: The power of love. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Because I have a movie blog, people often ask me how many movies I watch in a year. And I usually just say - a lot. Spicywatch.com only reflects my top 1,000-ish movies, but I have to wade through a lot of movies to find titles that I believe to be 3 Chilli Peppers or more. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. On any given year I can watch anywhere from 250 to 500 films, depending on what else is going on for me and also the quality of television programs on offer that year. Some years I watch more television than movies, and some years it is the other way around. And I also like to read quite a lot of books and listen to music as much as I can as well, so I often find that I am torn between my media passions. 
However, cinema is my first passion and will always hold a special place in my heart and that is why Spicywatch.com is primarily all about movies and not television programs or books or music, even though I do regularly offer my opinion on all of those things well.
​All together, over the course of my lifetime I estimate that I have watched around 10,000 movies, and that is only counting from 15 year of age because before then I know that media was a lot less accessible than it is now, and we never had a VHS tape player until I was 12 years old, so I've not counted my first 15 years of viewing; even though I know that I was already well and truly cinema obsessed by the time I was 10 years old. But, if we calculate say 300 films a year, as an average for 35 years, we land on 10,500 and I think that I sit around there somewhere. 
So, if I have only reviewed around 1,000 worthy cinema choices on Spicywatch.com, then we can safely assume that I have only really enjoy around 10% of the movies that I have ever watched, and I think that is probably a fair statement, not just for me but also for many other people. One in ten films is a stand out and the rest are either so-so or stinkers. I don't review mediocre, and I certainly don't want to review hall of shame offerings, because cinema is like art for me. It's subjective and open to interpretation, and if someone went to the trouble of making it into a movie, then someone really loved it, and who the hell am I to shit all over that? No-one, I'm nothing more than a lady who likes movies and my opinion is no more valuable than yours or anyone else's. 
So, it really doesn't matter how many films I have seen, it's kind of irrelevant really. What I can say for sure however, is that in order to get through around 300 odd movies a year you need to be a bit of a night stalker. And I do love a late night movie marathon! 

LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL
Release Date: 2024
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 93 mins 
A supernatural horror; written, directed and edited by Colin and Cameron Cairnes that uniquely uses elements of documentary filmmaking to deliver a found footage energy to a wickedly fresh script, and the result is just mesmerising. 
It's 1977 and Night Owls, a variety talk show hosted by Jack Delroy is having a special occult themed Halloween episode.  Special guests include a self proclaimed psychic, a sceptical former magician, a parapsychologist and a 13 year old girl called Lilly who is reportedly possessed by a demonic spirit. What could possibly go wrong? 
This is a delightfully twisted offering, cleverly hinging on 1970's America and its obsession with late night talk shows and all things occult related. David Dastmalchian is just exceptional, and perfectly cast  as talk show host Jack Delroy; and with a strong supporting cast bringing all of the cheesy banter and silly antics of talk show TV to life perfectly, Late Night with the Devil delivers on all fronts. A must see for horror lovers looking for something different. 
FINAL SAY: We met amongst the tall trees...remember? 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I returned to work this week after an eight week break, the longest personal break that I have ever had and also the most enriching one for me since the leave that I took to have my own children, which although yes, was very enriching; also proved to be quite overwhelming, exhausting and tiring. This leave however left me with none of those feelings, and I returned to work feeling fully reinvigorated and ready to take on the challenges once again. 
What I was not expecting was to feel such a huge sense of overwhelm from the reception that I got when I did return to work, and not in a bad way. The exact opposite actually, for I was welcomed back with the most enormous and genuine hugs and smiles, and the kindest words of welcome and affirmation that I have ever experienced in my life. Many of the students rushed to hug me, many throwing their arms around me and telling me how much they had missed me, and this touched me so very deeply and moved me so much. I felt like I was coming home to my workplace, and gosh - how special is that? How many people can actually say that they felt welcomed back in such a genuine and loving way when they return to work after a lengthy period of long service leave? It was astonishing and remarkable and wonderful all at once.
And that was when I really became acutely aware that I am part of an inclusive and caring community within my workplace. That I have made connections with the people within my workplace that go beyond that of the everyday, humdrum, daily work-life grind; that I in fact have relationships with many, many people; probably more than I had even considered, and that my presence (or lack there of) had not only been noticed, but people were actually glad to see that I had returned. Incredible! And I tell you, it is unexpectedly delightful and deeply affecting to realise that you belong somewhere that you are employed to go to.  This is a new experience for me, a really lovely one. 
So, needless to say, the week went along splendidly, with many joys and reunions. Lots of catching up on things, lots of hearing all about the things that I have missed, but also lots of shared laughs and joys, that perhaps you can only really experience when you are in school setting and surrounded my hundreds of people everyday. With so many people around you daily, it is never hard to find a happy story, a funny experience or a genuine tale of interest to share that not only brightens your day, but gives you purpose and reason to be where you are and doing what you do. 
The weekend was also lovely with time shared with friends and excellent company. I got to meditate with the delightful sangha group, catch up with Helen at White Night, visit the Book Swap with Seth and even indulge in a little cinema to pass the time. It couldn't have been a more perfect week for a first week back at work, but now I am already starting to miss my Freja baby like crazy again! Gotta squeeze some Bibi time in soon! 

FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA
Release Date: 2024
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 158 mins 
The fifth instalment in the Mad Max franchise that is neither the best offering nor the worst. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga does however offer another post-apocalyptic adventure into the violent and ruthless wastelands of Australia. And although I didn't enjoy it quite as much as Mad Max: Fury Road, I did think that it was another fun, high-speed action offering that is worthy of your time. 
Lead by the Warlord Dementus, a biker horde stumble across a young girl named Furiosa whilst they are looting 'The Green Place' (one of the last remaining areas in the wastelands that is still abundant with water and agriculture). Eager to please their leader, the bikers steal Furiosa and take her to Dementus who claims her as his daughter; but only after he brutally murders her mother in front of her. As Furiosa grows, she establishes an esteemed foot-hold within the Citadel walls of Immortan Joe, vowing to one day return to The Green Place and strike revenge on Dementus. 
You don't go and see a George Miller 'Mad Max' movie because you are looking for a sophisticated slice of civilised cinema, you go for the high octane, uber violent, gasoline guzzling, apocalyptic carry on; and on that front there is plenty to like about this film. One certainly cannot deny that Anya Taylor-Joy and Chris Hemsworth are brilliant as Furiosa and Dementus, carrying the story to much greater heights with their combined efforts.
So, if you are looking for a couple of hours of action that has tonnes of sand, loads of violence, some souped up rigs and a couple of  unforgettably evil super villains, then you will love what Furiosa is delivering. 
FINAL SAY: Where are you going, so full of hope? There is no hope!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

We are freshly back from our incredible island holiday and we are now trying to re-adjust to the realities of life again. As our leave comes to an end, Craig and I reflect on the wonderful time that we have enjoyed together. We have done so many lovely things and shared special time with all of the important people in our lives, we have been abroad and reminded ourselves of what it means to be off the clock and living on our own terms. And it was perfect, honestly, the time was just perfect in every single way. 
Fiji was in a word - incredible! It far exceeded our expectations and we had the most wonderful time. I wouldn't really recommend the mainland of Fiji, or anywhere around Nadi for a holiday, but the island that we spent our time on called Savusavu, was nothing short of a tropical paradise.  Just a short one hour flight from Nadi, in a tiny little 18 seater plane and you find yourself smack bang in the lushest, greenest jungle imaginable with the warmest tropical waters teeming with tropical fish and colourful corals. We spent seven perfect days in the Fijian sunshine; hiking, kayaking and snorkelling everyday. We had total Fiji - Shi Shi - Beverly Hills all the way! We ate like kings, slept like queens and didn't do anything but enjoy ourselves completely for the entire time. 
We kayaked the pristine Salt Lake of Savusavu, we snorkelled the tropical and much renown coral reefs of Natewa Bay and we ate three course meals three times a day! We lived the high life and it was heaven! Craig and I always have a blast when we travel together and we share the same level of curiosity and need for relaxation when we go abroad. We love to explore and we love to rest. We love to eat and we love to be active, and we always manage to make memories that will be with us for a lifetime.
Craig is a fantastic travel companion, he always offers me the window seat on the plane, he always lets me hide my face in his neck when I am terrified (which I did when we took off in that tiny plane) he always dresses smartly for dinner and holds my hand whenever we enter a room and he never gets upset or angry if I wuss-out on anything, which I didn't do this time but have done on trips before. Like me, he loves the frills and fancies that comes with a five star holiday, but he is also happy to go back to fish and chips and a beer when its done without a hiccup. 
And now, we enter the reality zone once again, the holiday that we had planned for the last 18 months suddenly over. But we are happy to be back, with a million beautiful memories and a swag of braggy photos to reminisce about, we aren't sad or disappointed. We feel blessed that we have been able to have such an astounding experience together and share yet another trip abroad. It's been a magical time and now, well I suppose that we should start to save our money once again, focus on what we have here and now for a while and smile because we were lucky enough to have done something so special together. 
For a little time, we got to live a life that was free from responsibility, free from chores and expectations and free from routine. In that time we could just take to the warm tropical sea whenever we felt like it, falling into the rocking waves together and completely letting go of all worry and concern, and just being in the moment 100% - you don't get that feeling everyday, it's special. And what a feeling that was while it lasted. That's the feeling that I am holding on to from this whole experience; the feeling of being alone, together and completely at peace. 

NYAD 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: PG 
Running Time: 121 mins 
A biographical sports drama film about swimmer Diana Nyad's multiple attempts in the early 2010's to swim the Straits of Florida. Directed by Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin (in their feature narrative film directorial debut) and written by Julia Cox, the movie is based on Nyad's 2015 memoir Find a Way. 
Diana Nyad, now sixty, resolves to accomplish the one thing that has eluded her - a 110 hour nonstop swim from Cuba to Florida, which she unsuccessfully attempted 30 years earlier. With her best friend Bonnie Stoll and a team of experts behind her, Diana sets out to achieve the unachievable with a dogged and inexhaustible determination. 
This is a fantastic tale of motivation and unwavering determination, that is not only really interesting to watch but  incredibly well acted with Annette Benning as Diana Nyad and Jodie Foster as her loyal best friend Bonnie Stoll. Both women received nominations at the 96th Academy Awards, the 81st Golden Globe Awards and the 30th Screen Actors Guild Awards for their efforts here and after seeing this film, I can see why. 
You do not need to like sports dramas to enjoy what Nyad is delivering, because this story is far more concerned with the human spirit than it is with swimming. 
FINAL SAY: Never, ever give up!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

Hitting my stride at the end of my now five week long respite and I can tell you, I could get used to this! Craig has been with me for the last two weeks and we have been living our very best lives every day with frequent visits to Bendigo to hang out with Freja and frequent trips to the couch to watch movies and relax in the middle of the day; it has been so restful and so rejuvenating. And it's the ability to have time for everything that is one of the most joyful aspects; the sheer uninterrupted and unconditioned time allowance that you can only get when you aren't worrying about or thinking about work. Time to be with people mindfully and completely, the time to spend fully immersed in a passion project or finishing a chore (that doesn't even feel like a chore because you aren't trying to squeeze it in around everything else) or just meditating (for 40 minute stretches) or doing yoga (for an hour) or having a glass of good wine with your lunch...ahhh...the absolute delight of being off the clock and choosing your own adventure on the daily. It's unlike anything else!
This is the longest break I have ever had in my life and I feel like it has given me a very clear glimpse into my retirement years, and if my retirement is only half as good as this break has been, I cannot wait! I have never loved my life the way that I love my life right now. There is something to be said for being able to do the things that you want to do whenever you want to do them that is not only freeing but also completely limitless in possibility. And in only a decade or so this could be my life everyday. Sharing time, indulging in my passions and choosing my adventures on the daily. The retired life sure is appealing but I've got a lot more work and money to save before that's a reality, so that little pipedream will need to be shelved as I head into the final stretch of my break which I will be spending a big chunk of in Fiji; snorkelling, canoeing, sipping cocktails and laying on the beach. It's a tough final call but I'm up to the challenge!
Perhaps one of the best things that this break has offered to me is some pause to take stock. Time to consider where I am at, what I already have and everything that I am grateful for. And there is plenty in my life to be grateful for. In Sweden they say that people run too fast in this life, so they need a good long break in order for their spirit to catch up with their body. This rest time allows reflection time and it is a vital component in becoming fully aware of your life and the blessings that you have. It is a time to be mindful and fully present - mind, body and spirit in all of the aspects of your life to that point and to allow for yourself feel whole and in tune again. I can honestly say that I have spent quite a bit of time contemplating my life and the blessings that I have this year and the last five weeks have really given me even more to reflect on. 
Since I have turned 50 I have felt more alive, in tune and more at peace with myself than I have ever felt before. My spirit has awoken this year and I find myself fascinated in the smallest of things and in awe of almost everything. I find inspiration and joy in everyone that I share time with now, and I feel a love for my family and friends that is resolute and powerful. My relationships bolster, strengthen and improve me and the quality of my life constantly. I am made better by every moment that I share with another, this I am now 100% certain of. The pleasure that shared time has given me is immeasurable and every relationship in my life has shifted to greater heights in the last year. I am surrounded by the best kind of people that give me their love and receive my love with open arms; how could anyone want more than that in their life? 
I also feel an incredible connection to country and a huge respect for every living thing. I am awe struck daily by the sights and sounds outside of my window. I love the land that I live on, I feel connected to it and it gives me joy beyond words or expression. I only need to step outside and be in nature to be refuelled. I only need to touch the trees, see the stars, hear the birds call, smell the air and feel the strength of the earth beneath my feet to know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. The silence and the time has given me back that connection, one that I know that I have tapped in to from time to time throughout my life, but now feel  like I am not just observing, but breathing in; every, single, day. 
So perhaps the Swedish are right, and maybe this time to go slow has given my spirit time to catch up with me. Whatever is happening, I do feel like this is all bringing me closer and closer to being the person that I have always wanted to be. A person who gives and receives love in equal measure, a person who delights in the joys of others as much as they do for themselves and a person who has nothing to prove because they are content to just be. One day, I hope to be that person but for now, I am also more than happy to be exactly where I am, in a state of best living. 

RYE LANE
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 82 mins 
A romantic comedy, set in South London and directed by Raine Allen-Miller in her feature directorial debut. Rye Lane is an exceedingly enjoyable watch with terrific and likeable characters, a plausible storyline and an original style that makes it a fresh rom-com offering. 
Yas and Dom meet in a gender neutral toilet at a mutual friend's art exhibition. Having both recently broken up with their partners, they discover that they have a lot in common and unpack their experiences as they traverse the city together. 
At just over 80 minutes run time, Rye Lane is short, sweet and to the point, leaping in head first with fresh and witty dialogue and a youthful energy that is utterly infectious. The backdrop of South London is showcased in artistic and interesting ways, the soundtrack is fabulous and the two characters of Yas and Dom are delivered perfectly by newcomers Vivian Oparah and David Jonsson; easily making this the best romance movie of 2023. 
FINAL SAY: Peng? Refreshingly disarming?
4 Chilli Peppers ​

I remember Craig coming home from a Christmas party one night a few years ago, he was up to his eyeballs in alcohol and was, for want of a better word, utterly 'pissed.' He was so full of beer that he needed me to pull over so that he could pee on the side of the road on the way home to Enfield, which was only a 25 minute drive, but he just couldn't hold it in. As he was peeing on a tree in a tucked away corner he had the sudden realisation that he was just about to commence a four week holiday break, and he also had a big wad of cash in his pocket that was his annual Christmas bonus. He proceeded to call out as loudly as his lungs would allow (to no-one in particular - maybe some cows in the paddock) "I am living the dream!' He yelled it over and over again, all the way home in the car and to the kids when he stumbled drunkenly in the door. And I remember thinking, geez calm down dude, it's the Christmas holidays, it's not that big of a deal!
And I never really understood just how golden that feeling must've been for Craig at that moment, but I think that presently, I actually do. I am actually starting to understand what Craig was feeling that night that I drove him home with a skin full; he was feeling freedom and release, and joy - pure, pure joy. And I reckon that I have got that very same feeling inside of me at the moment (minus the beer and the Christmas bonus), the feeling of freedom and pure joy and it feels pretty amazing!
I may not be shouting it out to the cows in the paddock as I piss against a tree, but I do feel an overwhelming sense of joy in my life right now. I am, in Craig's words, literally living the dream. I am just about to end my two week school holiday break, which was without a doubt one of the busiest, most wonderful and deeply rewarding school holiday breaks that I have ever had in my life. And I am just about to commence six heavenly weeks of long serve leave, that includes a week in Fiji on a gorgeous stretch of private island with a personal chef and free cocktails - so yep, I get it now, just like Craig, "I am living the dream!" 
And, to be honest, I have been living the dream since my 50th birthday way back in March with more daily celebration than a champagne cellar! Seth and I did the Dahlia flower arranging workshop and lunch extravaganza (which was just beautiful), I had a full day of Mindfulness in Daylesford with the Buddhist community out there, I visited the Bendigo Stupa for their Enlighten event, I had Easter with my darling family (Freja came to Enfield - woo-hoo), I had a movie night and drinks with a dear friend and then afternoon tea with another; I went to Melbourne to see Groundhog Day with lovely Helen, had brunch with another friend, got to babysit Freja with Craig for a night, had another amazing Sangha, went to Sorrento and did an incredible French Cookery Class (Bon Appetit) with a bloody legend of a friend, went to the spa with another gorgeous friend, had my hair done and even got to spend time with Freja and Zoe in Bendigo every mid-week since I've been on break - just because I could - and it's been delightful! Tomorrow night is April Spicywatch movie night, which has been running successfully once a month this year and in a couple of days I will take my mother on a road trip to Bendigo for the day. Yes, yes, yes, I am living the dream and I have 6 more week of joy ahead of me as well. It feels like all of the flowers in my life have bloomed at once and I feel so very blessed and extremely fortunate.
​And I am sharing time; sharing precious, joyful time with so many beautiful and caring and wonderful people. My heart is full of smiles and warmth. I am grateful beyond words. This must be what it feels like to be living the dream. I get it, I am living the dream - 100% and I just don't want to wake up!

DREAM SCENARIO 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 102 mins 
An American fantasy-comedy film written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli that delivers something that is so bizarre, so funny and yet so disturbing in equal measure, and yet it still works completely as well. Nicholas Cage again delivers all of the talent that everyone knows that he has but for perplexing reasons does not always deliver upon; and here he shines brightly and carries the entire film to new levels of humour and discomfort in ways that only Nicholas Cage could. 
Paul is a mild manner biology professor that no-one really pays much attention to, that is until he starts to turn up in people's dreams. Paul is rocketed into fame by his ability to be 'inside' everyone's head, but when dreams turn into nightmares, people start to see Paul in a whole new way. 
There is something deeply sinister about the storyline in Dream Scenario as it unfolds, leaving the viewer, just like the main protagonist, reeling at the fickle changes of desirable pop culture and the swift retribution of cancel culture. It's certainly a surreal journey into the possibilities of futuristic dream intervention; which in itself is a frighteningly possible scenario to imagine. 
FINAL SAY: Trauma is trending these days.
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Another whirlwind month passes me by, and boy what a month it has been! I kicked off my birthday long weekend in style with a trip to the movies to see Dune Part 2 in Gold Class and then followed it up the next evening with a New Moon women's circle and sound bath session. Went to the Begonia festival, out for lunch and to the theatre with my mum the day before my birthday and then on my actual birthday I was spoilt rotten by my loving family and generous friends who showered with both attention and affection in buckets.
I had breakfast made for me, a gigantic flashy chocolate fudge cake and Thai food from my favourite Thai restaurant in Ballarat. And the gifts! Holy cow was I spoilt! So many generous offerings and lots of wonderful follow up adventures to be had as well that were gifted to me. Craig got me a Fitbit and my favourite French perfume, Seth got me a Dahlia flower arranging class and lunch - just for the two of us, Zoe got me a pass to the spa for a sauna, soak and a massage at Sanctuary Day Spa, Helen got me tickets to see Groundhog Day at the theatre in Melbourne in April and Michelle got me a French cooking Class in Sorrento that she is taking me to in April as well. Winning!
On top of that I went out to Drag Bingo with my work team, for a night of too many cocktails and so many belly laughs. Around 25 people came out to celebrate my 50th from work, which was just incredible; it was an amazing night! Georgia took me out for a Japanese dinner and wants to take me to Melbourne for a night out down the track and I also received a number of very kind messages and lovely gifts from many other people that share their time and energy with me. It was stunningly overwhelming, emotional and deeply moving for me. Turns out that turning 50 is not a bad thing at all, its a bloody awesome thing! And this year is shaping up to get better and better as it goes along. 
You would think that I couldn't top becoming a Bibi and turning 50, and yeah okay, maybe I can't actually top those things, but more joy is definitely coming! I start my long service leave in a few weeks and will be having a couple of months off work which is awesome on its own, but Craig and I have also decided to get away together for a break and we are heading to Fiji for a holiday in May. An overseas holiday - oh joy - it has been 5 years since Craig and I have travelled overseas together so we are really looking forward to this get away. And the extra time off is going to give me so much more time with Zoe, Ben and Freja as well. The distance between us has been really challenging since Freja arrived in the world and I am looking forward to having more quality time with my now extended family over the next couple of months - I just cannot wait! So yes! Life is beautiful and filled with joy and bursting with opportunity and good fortune, and I am so grateful for everything that I am experiencing. 
Oh, and let's not forget that the Oscar's also happened the day after my birthday this year as well, which just happened to be a public holiday so Helen and I hit the couch with some bubbles and a giant wedge of cheese to take it all in.
And just in case you missed it, here are the (not at all surprising) results:
OSCARS 2024 FULL LIST
Best picture
American Fiction
Anatomy of a Fall
Barbie
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Maestro
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Past Lives
Poor Things
The Zone of Interest

Best actor in a leading role
Bradley Cooper – Maestro
Colman Domingo – Rustin
Paul Giamatti – The Holdovers
Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer – WINNER
Jeffrey Wright – American Fiction

Best actor in a supporting role
Sterling K Brown – American Fiction
Robert De Niro – Killers of the Flower Moon
Robert Downey Jr – Oppenheimer – WINNER
Ryan Gosling – Barbie
Mark Ruffalo – Poor Things

Best actress in a leading role
Annette Bening – Nyad
Lily Gladstone – Killers of the Flower Moon
Sandra Hüller – Anatomy of a Fall
Carey Mulligan – Maestro
Emma Stone – Poor Things – WINNER

Best actress in a supporting role
Emily Blunt – Oppenheimer
Danielle Brooks – The Color Purple
America Ferrera – Barbie
Jodie Foster – Nyad
Da’Vine Joy Randolph – The Holdovers – WINNER

Best directing
Anatomy of a Fall – Justine Triet
Killers of the Flower Moon – Martin Scorsese
Oppenheimer – Christopher Nolan – WINNER
Poor Things – Yorgos Lanthimos
The Zone of Interest – Jonathan Glazer

Best animated feature film
The Boy and the Heron – WINNER
Elemental
Nimona
Robot Dreams
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Best adapted screenplay
American Fiction – WINNER
Barbie
Oppenheimer
Poor Things
The Zone of Interest

Best original screenplay
Anatomy of a Fall – WINNER
The Holdovers
Maestro
May December
Past Lives

Best cinematography
El Conde
Killers of the Flower Moon
Maestro
Oppenheimer- WINNER
Poor Things

Best costume design
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER

Best documentary feature film
Bobi Wine: The People’s President
The Eternal Memory
Four Daughters
To Kill a Tiger
20 Days in Mariupol – WINNER

Best documentary short film
The ABCs of Book Banning
The Barber of Little Rock
Island in Between
The Last Repair Shop – WINNER
Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó

Best film editing
Anatomy of a Fall
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Poor Things

Best international feature film
Io Capitano
Perfect Days
Society of the Snow
The Teachers’ Lounge
The Zone of Interest – WINNER

Best makeup and hairstyling
Golda
Maestro
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER
Society of the Snow

Best original score
American Fiction
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer – WINNER
Poor Things

Best original song
The Fire Inside – Flamin’ Hot
I’m Just Ken – Barbie
It Never Went Away – American Symphony
Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People) – Killers of the Flower Moon
What Was I Made For? – Barbie – WINNER

Best production design
Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things – WINNER

Best animated short film
Letter to a Pig
Ninety-Five Senses
Our Uniform
Pachyderme
WAR IS OVER! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko – WINNER

Best live action short film
The After
Invincible
Knight of Fortune
Red, White and Blue
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar – WINNER

Best sound
The Creator
Maestro
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
Oppenheimer
The Zone of Interest – WINNER

Best visual effects
The Creator
Godzilla Minus One – WINNER
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
Napoleon

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 206 mins 
An American western and also a crime drama, directed and produced by Martin Scorsese, who co-wrote the script with Eli Roth. Based on the book of the same name by David Grann, Killers of the Flower Moon is not just a movie, it an epic, with an all star ensemble cast and enough corruption and intrigue to keep viewers riveted for the almost three and half hour run time. 
In Oklahoma in the 1920's, a series of grisly deaths continues to befall the Osage Nation People that have a strong hold on the land; due to striking oil. Behind these murders is the land grabbing and influential cattle rancher William King Hale, who will even use his own kin (and any other means available) to take down the Osage members from the inside so that the land inheritances eventually fall into his own family's hands. 
This is a sad story, peppered with the worst kinds of people doing the worst kinds of things. The Osage Nation are represented beautifully, with the main focus firmly placed on Molly Burkhart, a headstrong Osage whose family owns oil headrights. She is portrayed perfectly by newcomer Lily Gladstone and she is extremely well supported by Leonardo DiCaprio as her conniving husband Ernest and Robert De Niro as the awful uncle William Hale. 
Parts of this film are really hard to watch; seeing gentle people being swindled and manipulated continuously is not at all joyful, however the strength, dignity and spirituality of the Osage shines through at every facet  of this movie, and overall, Killers of the Flower Moon delivers something reflective, noteworthy and valuable. A must see epic that deserved all of the accolades and attentions that it garnered. 
​FINAL SAY: Can you find the wolves in this picture?
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Where is the time going? I am head spinning trying to understand how we have already landed in March, I seriously have no idea how I have already travelled this far into 2024 and now find myself on the doorstep of another Easter in only a few short weeks time. Okay, I do have to admit that I have been wrapped in a bubble of baby bliss since I became a grandmother and have been spending a lot of time travelling between Bendigo and Enfield in the pursuit of cuddles and sacred 'Bibi' time, but March already- wow! I mean February just seems to have evaporated into the ether and it has already been around three weeks since my last blog post, and there I was thinking that it had only been about a fortnight when I logged on today. 
It is true, that time waits for no-one and if you don't stop and look around once and while, you really can just miss it completely (Thanks for the reminder Ferris!). However, even though time time does appear to be moving on fast forward, I have been joyfully passing the time and mindfully embracing all of the new experiences that have arrived in my life this year, which have given me pause for thought and room to grow in so many unexpected and wonderful ways. 
Obviously becoming a Bibi (nanna) has been a deeply transformative and rewarding experience for me, well not only for me but for the whole family really. Craig and I have rekindled a love for each other and our blossoming tribe through this new shared experience. We are just loving the unfurling of emotions and opportunities that have arisen from Freja arriving into our lives. She has allowed us to re-experience all of the newness of parenthood along side of Zoe and Ben, and she has cultivated a fresh expression of love for us that is so profoundly deep and nurturing that it often moves me emotionally in ways that I did not foresee. In short, its been a delight and an absolute privilege to become a grandparent and I am excited to travel this new road ahead with Zoe, Ben and Freja. 
I have also joined a local sangha this year which meets once a month and I am loving the experience of a collective meditation group very much. They practise the Plum Village teachings of mindfulness under the guidance of Thich Nhat Hanh, a monastic spiritual leader and peace activist who is revered for pioneering mindfulness, global ethics and spiritual peace. You don't need to become a Buddhist devotee to join, you just need to be a peaceful soul looking for like minded meditation and mindfulness practise, which is very much where I am at presently. We meet every month for sitting meditation, walking meditation, dharma sharing, song and a shared lunch. Yesterday we met in Daylesford, and it was my third sangha for the year and I can honestly say that I enjoy it more and more every time that I attend.  The people that attend these sangha's are truly welcoming, peaceful, gentle souls and I always leave feeling like I have a renewed sense of self and purpose after each session. 
I have also been attending regular sound baths with a new friend that I made this year, I have started a monthly 'Spicywatch' movie night with friends which meets in Enfield for a premiere viewing (with a different genre each time) and I have been enjoying more social time with my work friends in the shape of trivia nights at a local pub, and we have even enjoyed two third places so far!
I certainly feel like the heavy weight of last year has been lifted from me now and that I have gained a new sense of purpose and joy in my life. I even got rid of my bathroom scales and have stopped tracking everything that I eat and weighing myself continuously  because I realised how unhappy these activities were making me and how fixated I was becoming a number rather than a way of being. I am starting to enjoy my body for what it is and I am accepting that although my pursuits for weight loss may have been well intended, they were just adding to me always feeling like a failure and never allowing myself to fully like who I am. My size is not indicative of my wellness or my ability to be vital and healthy; I am in fact very healthy, extremely happy and flourishing in all areas of my life and this means far more to me than the number on a scale. 
I even tweaked my diet, removed some trigger foods and drinks and added some appropriate herbal supplements to my diet and have managed to completely combat my menopausal symptoms in natural and non-invasive ways. I no longer have night sweats or drastic mood swings and I feel very in control of myself. In fact, I have not felt better than I feel right now in years! My wellness is now my priority 100% of the time, and it has nothing to do with my weight, but it has everything to do with how I feel and function from day to day in my mind, my body and my spirit. So sure, the time may be racing ahead, but right now, I feel like I am running along of side it with a spring in my step and a song in my heart, and who could ask for more than that? 

THE BOY, THE MOLE, THE FOX AND THE HORSE
Release Date: 2022
Rating: G
Running Time: 34 mins 
A short, animated adventure that is based on the illustrated book  of the same name by Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse delivers an emotional and poignant tale about self discovery and the meaning of life. Released by Apple+ streaming, this Academy Award winning short has a strong message that is most definitely not exclusively designed for children. 
Four unlikely friends, a lost boy, a mole, a fox and a horse share their story's and experiences and become tightly bonded as they try to find the lost boy's home. 
Author Mackesy explained that the four characters in this tale actually represent different aspects of the same person. The inquisitive and curious boy, the enthusiastic but greedy mole, the weary 'beaten down by life' fox and the wise and sagacious horse. All that I know for sure is that in 34 mins I had cried, I had smiled and I also walked away feeling like I had a genuinely spiritual experience, and for that reason, I believe this film to be an unmissable watch.
FINAL SAY: Life is difficult, but you are loved. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Beautiful little Freja Rose Jones was born at 9.09pm on the 6th of February, weighing in at 3.12 kg (6 pound 8 ounces) and measuring 50.5cms in length, her tiny presence immediately changing all of our lives forever. To say that we are smitten would be a drastic understatement, we all fell into raptures at the sight of her little body and beautiful bonny face, she is such a precious angel and a huge source of amazement.
And honestly, our Freja is nothing short of perfect and she has been thriving along for the last 5 days, demonstrating a healthy if not ravenous appetite and an ability to melt everyone's heart without even trying. Zoe and Ben also appear to have taken to parenthood like ducks to water, tag teaming like pros and ensuring that everyone gets enough rest and tap out time. They are certainly giving it their best efforts, but I didn't think that they wouldn't at any stage anyway, they've been dying for Freja to arrive and couldn't wait to get their hands on her to shower her with love and attention. 
And how quickly you remember all of the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges of parenthood when you look into the eyes of your grandchild. It's a strangely emotional time, with lots of big feelings and concerns as the memories of your own experiences flood back into your mind.  It's almost like you strap in right besides the new parents for a brand new ride. And you don't want to do too much or too little, and you don't want to crowd or be too impassive but you do want to know what's going on and how things are progressing every step of the way. And that's because there is someone new to love in the world now, someone that represents a new branch on your family tree and now there will be a million new experiences and opportunities for you to share your life with them. Words can't explain it really, it's just really joyful in the most intensely emotional way.
Unfortunately, I landed a bloody head cold this weekend which meant that I couldn't enjoy another Freja visit this weekend, which nearly broke my heart really, but you can't go and see a new born baby when you are under the weather, so I have to wait until I am 100% before I can some get more of those delightful baby snuggles.
What a weekend of illness did afford me was a chance to binge watch some TV and unwind, which probably wasn't a bad thing to be honest.  The return to work has stretched me greatly over the last fortnight, and I have been feeling like I have transitioned from the hammock to the frying pan in one fell swoop. And that on top of all of the new 'Bibi' feels, worry for my daughter and new grand-daughter and my ever plummeting menopausal hormones, I have been left me feeling kind of emotional and a bit vulnerable. I mean I cried for pretty much n reason at all the other day and struggled to stop myself once I got going, it was ridiculous and I felt like such a ding-a-ling. I hate it when my emotions run away from me, but I suppose that its bound to happen at this stage of my life.
Anyway, onward and upward this week as I settle down and refocus my sights to brighter, healthier and happier days ahead. And there is no denying that Elton John knew what he was doing when he wrote the beautiful song - Your Song, because dear Freja, it's true: how wonderful life is, while you're in the world. 

The world feels filled with jittery anticipation as we all eagerly await the arrival of Zoe's baby. Due on the 31st of January, the baby is proving to be very unwilling to join us in the world just yet and has kept Zoe and Ben sitting around feathering their nest now for weeks in a mixture of excitement and anticipation. Talk about tenterhooks! I'm not sure if the baby is delayed in getting here because it is stubborn, or if Zoe is just too comfy or perhaps the dates weren't quite accurate,  but what I do know for sure is that if it doesn't arrive soon I think that Zoe is going to have a full blown meltdown!
She is hot and very tired of waiting, and I can't say I blame her. Zoe came into the world four days early and Seth came one day late, so I can only imagine how poor Zoe must be feeling. I know that I was well and truly sick of being pregnant by the end of it all and could not wait for it to be over. The waiting and not knowing is just the worst kind of torture, and it is also peppered with a lot of fear and anxiety when it is your first baby because you just don't know what the hell is going to happen to you in labour and it is quite terrifying really.
Not that knowing makes it any easier the second time around mind you, I literally locked myself in the toilet and flat out refused to come out because I - quote - "am not doing this bullshit again, no way!" But Seth did eventually get here, so yeah, I did have to do that bullshit again turns out!
It is amazing how you forget just how challenging pregnancy and the waiting for a baby to arrive can be, but you do go through it all again with your own children and the memories are flooding back for me thick and fast. The hot, stretchy-skinned tiredness, the 'nothing fits me' and 'I'm a horrible monster' phase, the 'oh good god, how will I ever get this out of me?' worries and the 'can someone just make this all end?' pleas, it is a really trying period of time and when the baby is overdue, it can feel like an endless stretch of irrelevant moments that can only be relieved by the arrival of the baby. Everything hangs on the baby and the loss of control is so challenging. I have felt it so strongly through Zoe and she is so ready for her child to be in the world. 
And then suddenly the baby finally arrives and you feel exhilarated and achieved and wonderful and....then... well then the baby stage begins, and that, as all parents well know is it's own type of fresh hell. Plummeting hormones, sleepless nights (and days), resounding cries, sore nipples, endless nappies...but I won't go on about that just yet. We have a few hurdles to leap over before we start to traverse that river of experiences. So strap in everybody, a baby is on the way, and not just any baby - my grandchild!  Oh lord, I cannot believe my good fortune! Come on my darling baby! We are ready with open arms to receive you!

BABYTEETH
Release Date: 2019
Rating: M 
Running Time: 118 mins 
An Australian coming of age, romance-drama directed by Shannon Murphy from a screenplay by Rita Kalnejais. After premiering at the Venice Film Festival, Babyteeth deservingly went on to win nine AACTA film awards including Best Film. With a mixture of romance and love complications, Babyteeth hits all of the right notes and delivers a thoughtful portrayal of a family dealing with youthful energy and illness. 
Milla Finlay is just like any other 16 year old, only she has cancer. On a station platform she meets Moses, a drug addled despot who steals her heart and challenges her already stretched family. 
With powerhouse performances from the always great Essie Davis and Ben Mendelsohn, who play Milla's parents, the young love birds (Eliza Scanlon and Toby Wallace) are well positioned for an engaging, touching and completely believable tale of love, self discovery and of course, loss. 
FINAL SAY: This is the worst possible parenting I can imagine. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Don't misread that blog post heading and think that I have gone all fitness mad or anything, because I definitely have not! I have however, entered into the dreaded and controversial period of my life that is commonly known as 'menopause' but really should be called 'fresh hell for women who think they have already experienced everything.'
​So far it has been extremely hot, intensely sweaty and just generally quite gross. This recent wave of menopause has collided with the awards season, so I have been happy to sweat it out on the couch with The Globes, The Emmys and The Critic's Choice Awards which although not at all surprising when it comes to the actual winners, has provided me with some much needed distraction from the hot, flushing and ever present fevers that is my unfortunate, but clearly rapidly declining, hormonal levels. 
So far it's been all 'Sweaty Betty' and 'No Sleep Susan' and I haven't had too many other symptoms, well none that have caused me as much distress and annoyance as a lack of sleep and the constant swampy humidity of my own body. I am managing to get some incredible internal body temperatures these days, and although I haven't exactly been shoving thermometres inside of myself to check on that, I have taken to sleeping with an ice pack on my chest at night, which I believe is a fairly powerful indicator that I am burning up.
In general I am just a big old 'Clammy Sammy' and my body is behaving like I have permanently moved to Northern Thailand by generally being slick and sticky most of the time. Mmmmm, so sexy right? Clearly no, and poor Craig keeps waking up during the night dreaming that he is sunbaking on a beach, only to discover that he is just dealing with the radiant heat that is pouring off of my body during the nocturnal hours. I swear that if I could harness the energy that my body is giving out I could run the lights in our home for months. 
It is like riding a wave of internal combustion, one minute I'm a roast chook, the next I'm icy cold and all of that occurs in a mere matter of minutes. It is just crazy, and I have no idea how long this will last for either. Being a woman is such a thankless roller coaster and now that I am turning 50, hitting menopause and also on the precipice of becoming a grandmother I am starting to see why women become quite cranky at this stage of life. You turn a certain age (by the way menopause usually hits between 45-55 so women beware) and you are suddenly thrust into a fever dream of early crone-hood that is a bit debilitating and quite scary really. I hadn't even though of myself as old (well, not THAT old) and suddenly here I am - an almost 50 year old menopausal grannie! How the hell did that happen?
Only a year ago I was just a mother in her 40's and now...well, old women's business! And I wasn't prepared for old women's business and I don't even know that first thing about menopause, so this has been a true trial by fire - internally, externally, literally and metaphorically as well. Needless to say I have had to trawl the internet for information about menopause and general 'old lady' business as a consequence. And I even went to the local library to borrow books on the topic; god forbid should anyone see me at a book store buying an old lady manual like 'Everything you wanted to know about menopause but were too afraid to ask,' but I really need to educate myself somehow!
And because this has all happened so rapidly, I also needed to do the old 'self litmus' test, you know what I am talking about, when you start asking yourself the 'is this normal?' questions that you only ever worry about when your body starts doing weird shit that it wasn't doing before, like producing more heat than lava. And guess what? Turns out it is normal! So yay, but also boo as well really. 
​Anyway, the summer of 2024 will go down as the sweatiest summer of my life now, well I hope it will be because I really don't want several years of this, but according to everything that I read so far, unless you want to go on Hormone Replacement Therapy, which has a host of it's own issues and symptoms, you just have to suck it up really and go along for the ride and just calmly wait for my body to completely dry up like an old husk of its former self. And that can take anywhere from 6 months to 7 years, so yep, there could well be a few more sweaty summers ahead of me yet! Ah, the true joys of being a woman. Turns out that a vagina really is the gift that just keeps on giving! 

POOR THINGS 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 142 mins 
If you are looking for something completely out of the box and utterly unique then look no further, Poor Things delivers on all counts. Brilliantly fantastical, artistically designed and continually teetering on the verge of being absolutely bonkers, this latest offering from visionary director Yorgos Lanthimos is not only his best work, but for me, is one of the best movies of 2023. And after garnering lots of attention for it's salacious behaviours and just as many accolades for it's terrific performances and original story-telling, Poor Things quickly became the must see movie of the year. 
Dr. Godwin Baxter, a Frankenstein-eque surgeon, discovers the beautiful, pregnant but unfortunately dead body of a young woman by the edge of a London river. He decides to transplant the brain of her still alive but unborn baby into her adult body and re-animate her, creating 'Bella' a child-like adult in search of delicious and daring experiences. 
This is a wildly original romp into madness and hilarity with Emma Stone delivering at her best as Bella, Mark Ruffalo amusing completely as the lecherous deviant Duncan Wedderburn and Willem Dafoe bringing hideous-genius to life as Dr Godwin Baxter. However underneath all of the hilarity is a story that delivers like a modern day fairy-tale of self discovery, enlightenment and deliverance that is both playful and contemplative. 
The fantasy design and costumes are strikingly good, the details are just amazing, from start to end. I am fairly sure that this is a film that people are going to talk about for years to come, and one that is destined to become a cult classic. For me, Poor Things hits all the right notes in all the right order, and I couldn't help but applaud it and award it a Hall of Fame - 5 Chilli Peppers of greatness. 
FINAL SAY: I have adventured it and found nothing but sugar and violence. 
5 Chilli Peppers ​

​​​The Golden Globe Awards Ceremony happened very early this year; Monday 8th January to be exact, so I was able to sit back, pour a wine and watch everything unfold in real time. Unfortunately, this year kind of delivered like a limp bit of celery and although many valiantly tried, there wasn't a lot of laughs to be found in the mix. In fact the whole night seemed a tad surly and disjointed, which is not what the Golden Globes need after only rising from the ashes of their 2022 controversy last year.
New host Jo Koy certainly fell flat with his lame jokes about 'Barbie's boobs' and he desperately struggling to maintain interest and applause at every turn; he even tossed the writers under the bus in an attempt to save himself at one point. Comics Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell's attempts at silly dance moves during an award presentation were tepidly receive and it just all felt a bit flat and dull to be honest. Not to mention all of the behind the hand/ bitchy banter  that appeared to be going on in the audience, and some actors even just up and left before the ceremony ended! So weird and a bit disrespectful really. 
And although all of the winners were of course super deserving, it was all extremely predictable and left me a tad underwhelmed this year, which was a shame. 
But never mind, I still now have a swag of films and TV to catch up on and my viewing choices are all laid out for the next few weeks, so that's a definite plus. 
And just in case you missed it, here are the nominees and winners:

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

• Da'Vine Joy Randolph, "The Holdovers" — Winner
• Emily Blunt, "Oppenheimer"
• Danielle Brooks, "The Color Purple"
• Julianne Moore, "May December"
• Jodie Foster, "Nyad"
• Rosamund Pike, "Saltburn"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

• Robert Downey Jr., "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Ryan Gosling, "Barbie"
• Robert DeNiro, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Charles Melton, "May December"
• William Dafoe, "Poor Things" 
• Mark Ruffalo, "Poor Things"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Ali Wong, "Beef" — Winner
• Brie Larson, "Lessons in Chemistry"
• Riley Keough, "Daisy Jones & the Six" 
• Elizabeth Olsen, "Love and Death"
• Juno Temple, "Fargo"
• Rachel Weisz, "Dead Ringers"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Steven Yeun, "Beef" — Winner
• Matt Bomer, "Fellow Travelers"
• Sam Claflin, "Daisy Jones & the Six"
• David Oyelowo, "Lawmen: Bass Reeves"
• Jon Hamm, "Fargo"
• Woody Harrelson, "White House Plumbers"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Television Series

• Elizabeth Debicki, "The Crown" — Winner
• Meryl Streep, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Hannah Waddingham, "Ted Lasso"
• Christina Ricci, "Yellowjackets" 
• Abby Elliott, "The Bear"
• J. Smith-Cameron, "Succession"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Television Series

• Matthew Macfadyen, "Succession" — Winner
• James Marsden, "Jury Duty"
• Ebon Moss-Bachrach, "The Bear"
• Billy Crudup, "The Morning Show" 
• Alexander Skarsgård, "Succession"
• Alan Ruck, "Succession"

​
Best Screenplay — Motion Picture

• Justine Triet and Arthur Harari, "Anatomy of a Fall" — Winner
• Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, "Barbie"
• Tony McNamara, "Poor Things"
• Celine Song, "Past Lives"
• Christopher Nolan, "Oppenheimer"
• Eric Roth and Martin Scorsese, "Killers of the Flower Moon"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• Jeremy Allen White, "The Bear" — Winner
• Jason Sudeikis, "Ted Lasso"
• Bill Hader, "Barry"
• Jason Segel, "Shrinking"
• Steve Martin, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Martin Short, "Only Murders in the Building"

Best Performance in Stand-Up Comedy on Television

• "Ricky Gervais: Armageddon" — Winner
• "Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact"
• "Chris Rock: Selective Outrage"
• "Wanda Sykes: I'm an Entertainer"
• "Sarah Silverman: Someone You Love"
• "Trevor Noah: Where Was I"

Best Motion Picture — Non-English Language

• "Anatomy of a Fall" (France) — Winner
• "The Zone of Interest" (United Kingdom)  
• "Society of the Snow" (Spain) 
• "Fallen Leaves" (Finland)
• "Past Lives" (United States)
• "Io capitano" (Italy)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• Ayo Edebiri, "The Bear" — Winner
• Natasha Lyonne, "Poker Face"
• Quinta Brunson, "Abbott Elementary" 
• Rachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"
• Selena Gomez, "Only Murders in the Building"
• Elle Fanning, "The Great"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama

• Kieran Culkin, "Succession" — Winner
• Brian Cox, "Succession"
• Pedro Pascal, "The Last of Us"
• Jeremy Strong, "Succession"
• Gary Oldman, "Slow Horses"
• Dominic West, "The Crown"

Best Motion Picture — Animated

• "The Boy and the Heron" — Winner
• "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"
• "Elemental"
• "The Super Mario Bros. Movie"
• "Wish"
• "Suzume"

Best Director — Motion Picture

• Christopher Nolan, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Martin Scorsese, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Greta Gerwig, "Barbie" 
• Yorgos Lanthimos, "Poor Things"
• Bradley Cooper, "Maestro"
• Celine Song, "Past Lives"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• Emma Stone, "Poor Things" — Winner
• Margot Robbie, "Barbie"
• Natalie Portman, "May December"
• Fantasia Barrino, "The Color Purple" 
• Alma Pöysti, "Fallen Leaves"
• Jennifer Lawrence, "No Hard Feelings"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

• Cillian Murphy, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Bradley Cooper, "Maestro"
• Leonardo DiCaprio, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Colman Domingo, "Rustin"
• Andrew Scott, "All of Us Strangers"
• Barry Keoghan, "Saltburn"

Best Original Score — Motion Picture

• Ludwig Göransson, "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• Robbie Robertson, "Killers of the Flower Moon"
• Mica Levi, "The Zone of Interest"
• Daniel Pemberton, "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" 
• Jerskin Fendrix, "Poor Things"
• Joe Hisaishi, "The Boy and the Heron"

Best Original Song — Motion Picture

• "What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell (from "Barbie") — Winner
• "Dance the Night" by Caroline Ailin, Dua Lipa, Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt (from "Barbie") 
• "Addicted to Romance" by Bruce Springsteen (from "She Came to Me")
• "Road to Freedom" by Lenny Kravitz (from "Rustin") 
• "Peaches" by Jack Black, Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Eric Osmond and John Spiker (from "The Super Mario Bros. Movie") 
• "I'm Just Ken" by Andrew Wyatt and Mark Ronson (from "Barbie")

Cinematic and Box Office Achievement

• "Barbie" — Winner
• "Oppenheimer"
• "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse"
• "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3"
• "The Super Mario Bros. Movie"
• "John Wick: Chapter 4"
• "Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part 1" 
• "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour" 

Best Television Limited Series, Anthology Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• "Beef" — Winner
• "Lessons in Chemistry"
• "Daisy Jones & the Six"
• "All the Light We Cannot See" 
• "Fellow Travelers"
• "Fargo"

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy

• "The Bear" — Winner
• "Ted Lasso"
• "Abbott Elementary"
• "Jury Duty"
• "Only Murders in the Building"
• "Barry"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama

• Sarah Snook, "Succession" — Winner
• Bella Ramsey, "The Last of Us"
• Helen Mirren, "1923"
•  Keri Russell, "The Diplomat"
• Emma Stone, "The Curse"
• Imelda Staunton, "The Crown"

Best Television Series – Drama

• "Succession" — Winner
• "The Last of Us"
• "The Crown"
• "The Morning Show"
• "The Diplomat"
• "1923"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• Paul Giamatti, "The Holdovers" — Winner
• Jeffrey Wright, "American Fiction"
• Matt Damon, "Air"
• Joaquin Phoenix, "Beau is Afraid"
• Timothée Chalamet, "Wonka"
• Nicolas Cage, "Dream Scenario"

Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

• "Poor Things" — Winner
• "Barbie"
• "American Fiction"
• "The Holdovers"
• "May December" 
• "Air"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

• Lily Gladstone, "Killers of the Flower Moon" — Winner
• Carey Mulligan, "Maestro"
• Sandra Hüller, "Anatomy of a Fall"
• Annette Bening, "Nyad"
• Greta Lee, "Past Lives"
• Cailee Spaeny, "Priscilla

Best Motion Picture — Drama

• "Oppenheimer" — Winner
• "Killers of the Flower Moon" 
• "Maestro"
• "Past Lives"
• "The Zone of Interest"
• "Anatomy of a Fall"

OPPENHEIMER 
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 180 mins 
Possibly the most anticipated film of 2023, Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer delivers an epic biographical tale that received massive critical acclaim. It also became the third highest grossing film of 2023, the highest grossing World War II film, the highest grossing biographical movie and the second highest grossing R rated film as well. The National Board of Review and the American Film Institute named Oppenheimer one of the top ten films of the year, and it is certainly already receiving a lot of pre-Oscar buzz. 
The movie is based on the life of J. Robert Oppenheimer, an American theoretical physicist credited with being the "father of the atomic bomb" for his role in The Manhattan Project - the World War II undertaking that developed the first nuclear weapons. Closely following the 2005 biographical novel American Prometheus by Kai Bid and Martin J. Sherwin, the film chronicles the career of Oppenheimer from his personal highs and successes to his fall from grace in the mid 1950's.
Cillian Murphy is nothing short of perfect in his portrayal of Oppenheimer and he is very well supported by a star studded cast that includes Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Florence Pugh, Robert Downey Jr, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, Rami Malek and Kenneth Branagh. 
At three hours run time, Oppenheimer is not a film for light weight movie goers; extremely political and scientific in its delivery (neither of which bothered me) but you do need to be attentive if you want to really appreciate and follow the storyline. Visually it's a masterpiece, and an unforgettable cinematic experience. I went in with little to no knowledge about J. Robert Oppenheimer before I watched this, and I learned a lot; not only about the man himself, but also about nuclear weapons, the arms race and the lack of concern or care for life in general when it comes to the way in which these weapons are used.  Not an easy watch, but a very worthy one for sure. 
FINAL SAY: They won't fear it until they understand it. And they won't understand it until they've used it. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Just like 2022, the viewing opportunities in 2023 grew so fast that I found myself yet again juggling all of my streaming services and struggling to get to the cinema often enough because as always, I seemed to have an over-abundance of new release material to trawl through.
There was a head spinning amount of high quality viewing material to absorb this year, and I was very grateful to be constantly distracted from the political and environmental disasters of 2023 with cinematic offerings. I also received many welcome high quality recommendations from friends and family throughout the year as well, which has stretched my viewing choices as well.  Long story short, we were all very spoilt for choice in 2023, and if you couldn't find something to watch, then in my opinion, you just weren't trying hard enough!
I managed to get through 180 movies and 160 television series this year. Basically, I was flat out watching something every day of the year and I still didn't get to half of the material that still sits waiting on my 'to see' lists, which has now blow out to more than 580 titles, so it is fair to say that I am not going to be slowing down any time soon either. 
The task of seeing everything has become arduous beyond anyone's means, and unless you are willing to permanently strap yourself to the couch and do nothing but watch movies and TV, there is just no way that you can manage to see it all in one year. So now more than ever, you must be discerning, and hopefully this is where I can offer a hand and some sound advice around what you should be investing in your time in; if you haven't done so already. 
Again, I was thrilled to be able to view so many great movies and TV across all genres, for which I am always grateful. In particular, I again really appreciated seeing so many excellent horror, thriller and fantasy offerings this year; most of which boasted stunningly good visuals and terrifically original storylines. I am now sure that audiences are becoming more acclimated to a few jumps and jolts, and more and more people are embracing high quality horror, thriller and challenging viewing choices, because these genres do thankfully seem to still be on the rise. 
And so, without further ado....here is my selection for the best viewing experiences of 2023. 
BEST MOVIES (2023 release):
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Kid Friendly 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Oppenheimer - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
The Banshees of Inisherin - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
Saltburn - Thriller 4 Chilli Peppers 
Talk to Me - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
Barbie - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
John Wick Chapter 4 - Action 4 Chilli Peppers
Evil Dead Rise- Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Killer - Crime/ Action 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Leave The World Behind - Sci-Fi 3.5 Chilli Peppers  
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Action/ Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Guardians of the Galaxy VOL 3 - Super 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS - 2023 Release:
Skinamarink- Horror 3 Chilli Peppers 
No Hard Feelings - Comedy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - Action/ Adventure 3 Chilli Peppers 

Here are my top recommendations for pre-2023 releases that I didn't get around to seeing until 2023:
Pinocchio - Kid Friendly 5 Chilli Peppers 
Aftersun - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
Triangle of Sadness - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
The Menu - Drama  4 Chilli Peppers
You Wont Be Alone - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
The Worst Person in the World - Art House 4 Chilli Peppers 
Paul Dood's Deadly Lunch Break-  Art House 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Delicious - International 4 Chilli Peppers
Boiling Point - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers
RRR - International 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Call - International 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Marcel the Shell with Shoes on - Kid Friendly 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Wildcat - Doco 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
A Man Called Otto - Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Bones and All - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers
The Survivor- War 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Where the Crawdads Sing - Romance  3 Chilli Peppers
Deerskin-Art House 3 Chilli Peppers 
Baby Teeth - Romance 3.5 
Be My Cat: A Film for Anne - Gritty 3 Chilli Peppers 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES 2023:
Lessons in Chemistry - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
The Bear S2 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
Succession S4 - Drama 5 Chilli Peppers 
The Last of Us- Sci-Fi 5 Chilli Peppers 
Love and Death - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers
Tiny Beautiful Things  - Drama 4.5 Chilli Peppers 
The Fall of the House of Usher - Horror 4 Chilli Peppers 
Beef - Drama/ comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Slip - Fantasy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Dave S3 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
The Righteous Gemstones S3 - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers 
Platonic - Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Life and Beth - Drama 4 Chilli Peppers 
GEN V- Super/ Comedy 4 Chilli Peppers
Copenhagen Cowboy - Fantasy/ Art House 4 Chilli Peppers
Shrinking - Comedy/ Drama 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Interview with the Vampire - Horror 3.5 Chilli Peppers  
Mythic Quest S3- Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
FISK S2- Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers
Our Flag Means Death S2 - Comedy 3.5 Chilli Peppers 
Mirror, Mirror by Todd Samson S3 - Doco 3.5 Chilli Peppers 

2023 TV HONOURABLE MENTIONS: ​
1899- Fantasy  3 Chilli Peppers 
Down for Love - Reality 3 Chilli Peppers 
The Big Door Prize - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Poker Face  - Crime 3 Chilli Peppers 
Cunk on Earth - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Daisy Jones and the Six - Drama 3 Chilli Peppers 
Always Sunny in Philadelphia S16 - Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Somebody, Somewhere S2-Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
High Desert - Comedy/ Crime 3 Chilli Peppers 
Jury Duty - Reality/ Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers
Aunty Donna's Café- Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers
Deadloch - Crime/comedy 3 Chilli Peppers 
Swarm- Horror  3 Chilli Peppers 
War on Waste  S2- Doco 3 Chill Peppers 
The Traitors - Reality 3 Chilli Peppers 
What We Do in the Shadows S4- Horror/Comedy 3 Chilli Peppers ​

TALK TO ME
Release Date: 2023
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 95 mins 
An Australian supernatural horror, directed by Danny and Michael Philippou. Talk To Me made its worldwide premiere at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival and has been seriously creeping out audiences ever since. With a virtually unknown cast and a seriously unsettling storyline, Talk To Me is destined to become a cult horror classic. 
A group of teenagers get their kicks from conjuring spirits, filming the outcomes and posting them onto social media. With the aid of a mysterious embalmed hand they are able to allow entities to possess their bodies, but as with all stories of possession, things go wrong and the consequences are of course, dreadful!
This is a genuinely gripping horror tale that had me captivated from start to end. Touching on concepts of grief, loss and the desperate need for belonging when it comes to teens, this film plays out in believable and disturbing ways, with the main actors giving convincing and emotional driven performances. 
Talk To Me really does get under your skin, and it also delivers enough gore and shock value to appease hardcore fans of horror. 
FINAL SAY: I let you in. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

Looking back across the landscape of 2023, I see that overall it was a year of massive growth for me. I did a lot more than I expected to do, faced some challenges, had some celebrations and also had some massive highlights along the way as well.
I do love to brag about my amazing yearly achievements, not because I want to rub anyone's face in them, but mostly because looking back and remembering a year completely really helps me to identify all of the joys, personal highlights and reasons to be grateful, of which I have many in my life. Just take a look over the epic year that 2023 was for me: 
JANUARY: 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene, Escape Room Adventure, Seth's 18th birthday,  Mini Spa Day, Enfield deck revamp, Seth got his license, Clunes Ghost Hunt, Seppelt Winery Tour, Halls Gap Road Trip, Chinese New Year celebrations, tuned in to the Triple j Hottest 100.
FEBRUARY:  Italian Dinner Party, Blackberry picking. 
MARCH: International Women's Day, My birthday, McQueen Exhibition, Harmony Day Intercultural Celebration, Kate Bush Tribute Show. 
APRIL: Easter Sunday with the family, April holiday break, Spa Day with Craig, Eastern European Dinner Party, Craig's birthday.
MAY: Spicywatch's 9th Birthday, Golden Plains Art Trail, Mother's Day.
JUNE: Mushrooming,  Fleetwood Mac Tribute Show, The Garden's of St. Erth, Torquay Trip, Zoe's 26th Birthday.
JULY: Winter School Holidays, The Sound of Music Theatre Show, Horror Movie night, Bishop's Palace Ghost Tour, Addams Family Theatre Show.
AUGUST: Immigration Museum, Middle Eastern Dinner Party, Borealis at Daylesford Lake, Book week dress up. 
SEPTEMBER: Amazing trip to Uluru, Father's Day, Spring School Holiday Break, Mum's 80th Birthday.
OCTOBER:  Girls Shopping Day, Photo Biennale in Ballarat, Moulin Rogue Theatre Show, Yoga at Chat for Tea, Yoga Festival in Bendigo, Halloween horror movie/ dinner night.
NOVEMBER: 29th Wedding Anniversary, Deep Blue Spa, Enfield Smoke event, Public Speaking Event, Zoe and Ben's baby Shower.
DECEMBER: Summer Holidays kicking off, Seth buys his first car, Wreath Making and Candle Decorating events, Enfield Xmas Brunch, Christmas Day with the fam, Family Smoke Event. 

There is a lot here to celebrate and appreciate that's for sure. And on top of all of that, I have also managed to squeeze in:

• Daily meditation.
• 66 books.
• Workouts - 5 times a week.
• 180 movies.
• 11,000 average steps a day.
• 160 TV series - a new record for me!
• 26 brunches/ lunches and  delicious restaurant meals with family and friends. 
• A daily French lesson on Duolingo.
• Brain Gym everyday for 10 minutes.
• A daily journal entry. 
• And....I reviewed another 38 movies on Spicywatch.com bringing the total number of reviews to more than 1,000! 

Woohoo! That's a lot of 'doing' for one year! 
And now, as 2024 gently unfurls itself before me I wonder what will arrive in the next 12 months. Probably the most exciting thing will definitely be the arrival of my grandchild! As for the rest, well only time will tell, but let's hope it's as exciting as the last year was!​

SALTBURN
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: R 18+
Running Time: 127 mins 
A psychological thriller and a black comedy; written, directed and co-produced by Emerald Fennell, Saltburn is definitely one of my favourite films of 2023. Steeped in gothic mystery, chock full of unscrupulous characters and peppered with kinky interludes, Saltburn is deeply intriguing and absolutely original in every respect. 
Oliver is struggling to fit in at Oxford University. He becomes fast friends with Felix Catton, a rich and influential student that takes Oliver under his wing and asks him to join him at his family home 'Saltburn' for the summer break. Saltburn is a sprawling estate in the British countryside, filled with strange and entitled people and offering a release and a refuge to Oliver who has shared his tragic upbringing and difficult home life situation. But nothing is at all as it seems at Saltburn. 
Sumptuously designed from the costumes and sets to the exceptionally good soundtrack, Saltburn is a true jolt to the senses. Intoxicating in every way, you just cannot look away, especially from the incredible cast that sports the likes of Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Alison Oliver, Carey Mulligan and Rosamund Pike. This film made me long for a summer holiday and envy the privilege of wealth, but most of all, it made me laugh and it made me blush, and for that I am giving this a big fat tick and a very high recommendation. Feel the burn of Saltburn for yourself!
FINAL SAY: I'm sorry my performance wasn't good enough. 
4 Chilli Peppers ​

It would be fair to say that December wasn't my favourite month of the year this year. I had a huge overhaul of my long term plans, my goals and my life choices, and although this is an extremely cathartic thing to do, particularly at the end of a year, it is a whole other thing when it is actually just thrust upon you to do so. Which is how things went for me at the end of the year. You see, I thought that I had a rather solid plan for the next eight odd years of life and then it turned out that I didn't and it was a bit of a shock to the system to be honest.
The worse part of all was that it happened when everyone else was winding down for the holidays and merry making and feeling jovial and I just wasn't feeling it at all, I just wanted to go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and sleep until Christmas and all the jolly carry on was over this year. I felt deflated, directionless, let down, devalued and to be 100% truthful, I was actually depressed as hell.
Depression does not make you very good company during the silly season, it does not make you fun and it does not make you the life of the Christmas party, it makes you hard work and it makes you a Christmas sad sack. That is what I have been, a Christmas sad sack. I've tried so hard to put on a happy face and join in as best as I can, but god it has been hard.
The food didn't taste great, the wine didn't interest me, the gifts were irrelevant and pointless and everything about the season was a slog. I have never felt so tired, drained and uninterested in Christmas in my life. I just wanted a tap out, from everyone and everything, and most of all from my sad, sad self. How pathetic!
But, it turns out that the universe has others plans for me, which are continuing to unfold themselves on the daily at the moment, but when it comes to my employment choices, well that took a sharp turn at Albuquerque and it appears that my destiny does not lie where I thought it did.  Just when I thought that I saw a clear road ahead and a new way through, well I came to realise that that road was never meant for me at all. What I am actually meant to be doing is yet to reveal itself, but what I have been getting is a tonne of messages of a spiritual nature that are leading me back to my spiritual practises and opening new doorways with the right kinds of people.
Offers to join meditation groups, prayer circles, co-incidental meetings of spiritual healers and spiritual practitioners, an overwhelming reaching out in the form of kind messages from fellow meditators and like minded individuals around the globe that have been continuously flooding in, making it impossible for me to ignore the pull towards healing and self care. 
And not a moment too soon either, because I have a grandchild on the way in 2024, and if that isn't something worth getting excited about, then nothing is! And I will be damned if I am going to let the funk of 2023 ruin the opportunities of 2024 for me. Nope, all of that bullshit is over and done with now, it is time to leave all of that behind and forge valiantly into a new year, a new me and a new way of being. I feel a lot like a snake that has shed its skin, and now the possibilities seem endless for me. I can literally go wherever I want, do whatever I want and forge out a brand new pathway for myself in whatever fashion I like now. 
I have had a seismic shift, a re-route and a complete unravelling of the old me, and now, I look on at the blank canvas before me, ready to be made into whatever  I chose for me and my world. What a perfect way to end a year and start a new; 2024 is going to be my best year yet, I can already feel it. 

LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
Release Date: 2023
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 138 mins 
An apocalyptic thriller with an all star cast that was produced, written and directed by Sam Esmail, who is best known for his epic work on the television series Mr Robot.  The strength of Leave The World Behind really lies in the performances, everyone is delivering exceptionally well in this film, which elevates the simple and quite eerie storyline to greater heights because of that.
A family heads away for an unplanned holiday at a remote rental that guarantees that you can 'leave the world behind' when you stay there. Keen for some respite the family rush there and attempt to settle in for some down time when the owners of the establishment arrive unannounced, asking to re-enter their home due to black outs and strange occurrences that are happening in the city. 
As with all apocalyptic movies, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly, but in subtle and increasing ways. The whole thing unfolds in an unsettling fashion, but what I loved most about the film was that it was actually implying that America is a completely screwed up country that lacks the ability to save itself when push comes to shove. This is very far removed from the 'Americans save the world' apocalyptic tropes that we have been spoon fed for decades, and honestly it was refreshing. 
As I said earlier, the cast is terrific, with notable performances from Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke and Kevin Bacon and I do recommend a watch, especially if you enjoy apocalyptic tales. 
FINAL SAY: There is no going back to normal. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

I have been ridiculously busy for the last month, not only have I barely watched any movies (shocker I know) but I have also been completely immersed in a flurry of pre-Christmas events, personal wellness activities and a multitude of celebrations, which have kept me far from my computer and far from my beloved Spicywatch. However, it is only three more weeks until my Summer holidays officially begin and I cannot wait to re-immerse myself in some sunshine, relaxation and restorative practises, which will of course involve plenty of late night movie marathons and some lengthy TV embraces. 
So what have I been so busy doing since I last blogged over a month ago? Well, shit loads but here's a quick run down:

• Five delicious restaurant dinners out with friends 
• A yoga festival weekend away in Bendigo
• Halloween Night event 
• A meat-smoke event
• Dinner at my mum's, for my Dad's 4th remembrance (we miss ya dad) 
• Swanky Cocktails at Itinerant Spirits
• Craig's parent's birthday dinner (which I hosted and catered) 
• Ceramic Open Studio visit with my bestie. 
• 29th wedding anniversary getaway to Warrnambool (visited the Deep Blue Spa)
• A Public Speaking competition for School 
• A Trivia Night at the pub
• A Baby Shower celebration for Zoe and Ben - not long to go now!

I'm guessing that you can now see why I haven't been watching many moves or blogging for four weeks, it has been a tad hectic, but really amazing as well. The next few weeks aren't looking like they will be slowing down either with all of the Yuletide events firing up and end of year celebrations lining up. However, I have created my Christmas shopping list, I have put all of the important events on the calendar which well and truly covers all of the necessary bells, whistles and jolly gatherings one could ever hope for during the silly season. And, like a good and committed movie goer, I have even created a list of 'seasonally appropriate' viewing options for the days leading up to Christmas. If you too are looking for some festival choices, I am going to share my list with you, and we can compare notes right here on Spicywatch in the coming weeks. I haven't yet seen any of the options listed below, so whether they are good or not, well that remains to be seen!
Here's my viewing line up for this December:

• A Boy Called Christmas - Netflix
• Violent Night - Netflix 
• Genie - Netflix
• Happiest Season - Netflix
• The Velveteen Rabbit - AppleTV
• That Christmas - ABC iView 
• Catherine Tate Christmas Special - ABC iView
• Miracle on 34th Steet - Disney
• Le Pupille - Disney
• High Holiday - Stan
• Jones's Family Christmas - Stan
• Almost Christmas - Stan
• Christmas Obsession Eps - Stan 
• Baking It - Seven Plus
• Candy Cane Lane - Stan 
• 8 Bit Christmas - Binge 

AND.... well, I have seen this one many times, but will probably make the time to revisit it again this season because I love it so much!

• ​The Nightmare Before Christmas - Disney. 

Today I went to a yoga class that was followed by a tea drinking and discussion session. It was nice to spend some time in the zen zone with other people because I usually practise yoga and meditation alone; daily, but mostly alone. As we sat about in the warm after-glow of our hour long yoga session, with well stretched limbs and a calm disposition, we sipped tea and discussed the topic of 'The Man Who Wanted to Change the World.'
We listened to a story about a man who set out in his 20's to change the world. In his 30's he decided that perhaps he would downscale and just change his village because the world was too large to manage. Then in his 40's he decided to just focus on changing his family because his village was too big. And then, yep you guessed it, in his 50's he finally realised that what he needed to change was himself and he finally looked inwards and embarked on a journey of self change. We then reflected on this story and shared our thoughts, understandings and experiences.
Everyone looked at it differently and shared a little slice of their own experience. Some people shared what they were hoping to achieve or change within themselves, some people talked about their challenges or desires for self improvement and some people just reflected.  There were no right or wrong answers or reflections, no judgements to be cast, it was a safe circle to share in and everyone was heard in their response. 
I was thinking a lot about the Man Who Wanted to Change the World as I listened to the story and it made me think of how far I have come in my own journey of self discovery. I think that like the 'Man' in the story I was rushing to change things around me in my 20's and 30's as well, and I even tried to change my family in my 40's only to realise that it was the way that I saw the world that needed to be healed. I didn't actually need to change anyone or anything, I needed to fix my own vibration and my perspective on things.
I was so negative and so fixated on the ugliness of life when I was younger. I wasted a lot of time judging people, making assumptions and speaking my mind like I had something important to say. I actually thought that I knew what was going on, but I didn't know shit. In truth, nothing that I had to say was very important at all and I was just masking a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of unresolved tension. I had to turn inwards and do a lot of self healing and a lot of mindfulness and a lot of rebuilding.  I had to change my perspective so that I could see what I now see. 
The world around did not need to be fixed, it was never my job to do that, in fact most of what I thought needed to be fixed just needed to be accepted. The only thing that ever needed to be fixed or changed was me and as soon as I understood that and got busy doing that, my whole life instantly changed for the better. I stop judging everyone and feeling like I needed to be in control of anyone or anything else, and I poured all of my time, effort and focus into managing me. Pretty soon,  everything else around me got so much easier and so much better. I was even starting to see beauty in the mundane, joy in the challenges and purpose in the pain. I was becoming whole because I was focusing on making myself a better person. 
And now, I no longer feel like I need to change the world around me at all. I accept the world and all of the people in it as they are with the knowledge that there is only one thing in this whole big beautiful world that I will ever have any control over, and that is me. Just me, nothing more and nothing less than that. And there is the most marvellous level of comfort to be found in that awareness that is not only liberating and freeing, but also empowering and dynamic. So now, like the 'Man Who Wanted to Change the World' I don't look to change anything or anyone but myself these days, and I am doing that one day at a  time and loving my life and the gift that it is more and more as I go. 

A MAN CALLED OTTO
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 126 mins 
Sometimes I forget just how great Tom Hanks can be and then I see him in a lead role like A Man Called Otto and I am just blown away by his delivery and emotional range. An American remake of the 2015 Swedish film  A Man Called Ove, which was also based on the novel by Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Otto delivers a touching, affecting and enjoyable tale that is sure to tug at your heartstrings.
Otto is a cynical widower that is tired of living and feels exhausted by the so called 'stupidity' of the people around him. Just as he is about to check out, a new family check in across the street and bring with them both complication and distraction for Otto. Through a series of emotional flashbacks we come to understand who Otto was and how he has become the bitter retiree that he is today.
Mariana Trevino shines as Otto's new neighbour Marisol and Cameron Britton delivers as his power walking neighbour Jimmy, but no-one can outshine Hanks here as he delivers all of Otto's quirks and habits with fastidious accuracy and that subtle humour that we have all come to love about Tom Hanks. To be honest though, everyone is good here, even the scruffy stray cat! A Man Called Otto is a feel good movie that everyone can get something out of. 
FINAL SAY: Basically, his heart is too big. 
3.5 Chilli Peppers ​

Sometimes no matter how mindful you are, how much time and effort you put into yourself or how invested you are in your own wellbeing, something will happen and the wheels will just fall off your wagon. Now, this doesn't mean that you have completely derail, leaving the tracks only to plunge head first into the nearest ravine and catch on fire at the bottom, quite the opposite actually. If you get really good at filling and replenishing your own cup regularly, you will never need to have a full scale derailment again. You will not only be able to sit with your disappointments and discomforts, you'll also be able to bounce back like a boss. 
So what's the secret? Well of course it's hardly a secret but it does require you to be attentive to your own needs and aware of what may be leaking out of your cup before you get too depleted. First and foremost, and I know that you've heard me say this a million times but if you aren't doing the simple necessities well, then you have to start there. Are you eating well? Are you sleeping and resting well? Are you getting enough exercise or activity in your life? If you answered no to any of what I like to call the 'Holy Trinity' of health, then take stock and sort your shit out asap. 
Unfortunately everyone is not wrong about you needing to eat a rainbow of healthy foods, get 6-8 hours of sleep a night, drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and take in around 10,000 steps and half an hour of activity as a base line on the daily. If you are failing on of these fronts, you will feel tired, moody, emotional and probably pretty crappy for the most part. Your body is going to be struggling, so always check in with the 'Holy Trinity' before going anywhere else when your cup needs a top up.
After the 'Holy Trinity' is in order, it's time to get meeting your other needs. Check in with your balance between connection with others and your alone time. Both of these things are equally important. You need alone time to connect with yourself and to reflect on your needs and explore your desires. And you need healthy relationships and moments of connection with others to help you to understand your own value, be of service to others and explore your personal expressions of love and sexuality. However, lots of people over-do one or the other and this can leave you feeling out of balance, lonely or exhausted.  Have a think about how much time you are devoting to others and how much you are devoting to yourself. How do you spend your time with yourself? How do you spend your time with others? Are you using your time wisely? How can you improve on your relationships? How can you use your time alone in a healthy way? 
Another thing that really fills up diminished cups is time in nature and time to be creative. It has been scientifically proven that when people spend some time in nature everyday, especially early on in the day, they experience a much higher level of joy and appreciation in their daily lives. Equally valuable is any time set aside for creative output on a daily basis; a spot of painting, a little mindful colouring, daily journaling, scrapbooking, knitting, sewing, modelling or even cooking up a storm in the kitchen are great ways to stimulate the creative juices and getting a feeling of flow back into your life. 
So in short, start with checking your:

• Sleep
• Diet
• Activity 

And then look at:

• Your relationships and connections with others.
• Your time spent alone and your allocation of time for reflection. 

And last but not least try to:

• Spend some time in nature
• Be creative

Simple enough, and fairly obvious, but sometimes, we are just so busy being inside of our selves that we fail to step back and make sure that we are filling our own cups properly. Take a little time this week to do a self check, and never forget to fill your own cup and check in with yourself regularly. 

NO HARD FEELINGS 
Release Date: 2023 
Rating: MA 15+
Running Time: 103 mins 
A coming of age film directed by Gene Stupnitsky from a screenplay that he co-wrote with John Phillips, No Hard Feelings swings between inappropriately raunchy behaviours and painful helicopter parenting with an effortless ease that makes it a fun and enjoyable comedy from start to end. 
32 year old Maddie Barker is facing bankruptcy when an opportunity arises for her to get a car free on Craigslist. The only catch is that she has to  "date" a socially awkward and shy 19 year old boy named Percy because his wealthy parents can't deal with him leaving for college without any prior female socialisation or sexual experience. She also has to make it seem natural, so Maddie sets out to secretly seduce and socialise Percy and finds much more than she had bargained for. 
There is nothing astoundingly original or interesting about this tried and tired old movie trope, but Jennifer Lawrence makes this film great by delivering her usual high level of funny and sincere on screen as Maddie. Any icky feelings or controversy around the somewhat questionable storyline is cancelled out by the way that film constantly fails to condone or promote Maddie's crappy choices and immaturity. The teenagers in the film are obviously far more aware and mature than Maddie is and the whole point of the movie is to point out how childlike and pathetic some adults can be, which is easy to see when they are surrounded by capable and intelligent young individuals. 
Overall this is just a low-stake comedy film with higher than expected outcomes, watch it for a giggle. 
FINAL SAY: This kid's undatable!
3 Chilli Peppers ​

I have just returned from a weeks long holiday in the Northern Territory of Australia, primarily the Yulara area near Uluru. I travelled with a friend and it was both of our first times in the NT and also our first time travelling together; and to be 100% honest, it couldn't have been a more enjoyable trip. Everything, from the moment that we departed for the red centre to the time that we touched down back in Victoria went like clockwork. No hiccups, no problems and no distress, just a smooth sailing and very delightful holiday, and a mighty fine first introduction to the joys of the Northern Territory. 
In the space of six days we saw the three 'big' rocks of the area - Uluru, Atila and Kata Tjuta, all of which hold a special, strange and ancient magic to them. My favourite by far was Kata Tjuta also known as The Olga's which means 'many heads'. The rocks themselves look like sleeping indigenous giants at Kata Tjuta, and although I also loved Uluru, the sunrise at Kata Tjuta  is an undeniably spiritual place to be. I definitely felt like there was a strong spiritual presence at Kata Tjuta, something sacred and powerful; but all three rocks are kind of like an ancient holy trinity that really need to be seen to be fully appreciated. 
In spite of the incredible heat that we 'Ballaratarians' are most certainly not used to (Uluru was averaging 35 degrees most days) we still somehow managed to clock up over 85,000 steps in total which equates to over 66 kilometres of walking in six days, and some of those steps were done whilst walking (struggling, panting) straight up the side of Kings Canyon, which almost slayed me completely!
We also did some fantastic garden and bush tucker workshops to learn about the medicinal, culinary and cultural significance of the flora in the area, which I would highly recommend. And we enjoyed an amazing dot painting session with an indigenous elder woman called Evelyn who was a total boss. And now, thanks to Evelyn, I feel like I actually understand the stories in the indigenous paintings that I see. Needless to say, I have purchased one from a local to put up on my wall to commemorate my journey and can interpret everything that is featured in it as well. 
We took in the Field of Lights installation one evening, which houses over seven football fields of tiny colour changing lights that magically alter and shimmer against the darkness of the desert. We also managed to catch sight of most of the sunrises and sunsets which offer so many shades of pink, peach, purple, blue and gold, and some of the most incredible photo opportunities on the planet. 
We happily walked the base of Uluru, visited GOCA (the Gallery of Central Australia), went on a trip to Curtain Springs where we saw some of the vast Northern salt lakes, some cattle stations and a few wild brumbies. Then we got super gutsy and headed to King's Canyon where we did the full 3.5 hour rim walk in the blazing midday sun (death became me). And to top it all off we even learned all about 'The Dark Emu' in the sky, a dark space between the stars in the Milky Way that the local indigenous people navigate by.
In short, we had a hectic, heavenly and incredibly rewarding trip to the red centre that I would recommend that everyone should do at least once in their lifetime. It truly is a place like no other place that I have ever gone to before and I have some marvellous memories to keep from my adventures in the NT. From the red desert sands to the fields of wildflowers, from the giant monolithic rocks to the tiny lizards that scuttle about on their back legs and from the ritzy five star spa stays to the backpackers bar, there is something to suit everyone's taste, capability and price bracket in the NT. And what a gift it was to see it all with a dear friend and to have the time off to enjoy it completely. Feeling very grateful and also a little tired, but wow, what an amazing trip we had!

We all deserve to know our worth and we all deserve love, kindness and compassion. Often we are very good at providing this to others, but rarely are we very good at offering it to ourselves. In fact usually we are our own worst enemies, judging ourselves harshly and treating ourselves with a lot less respect and gentleness than we deserve. We willingly life up others but happily allow ourselves to suffer. 
But alas! I am growing tired of playing out all of the tired and un-desired tropes with myself. I am growing very, very tired of constantly judging myself and being unkind to myself; and I am choosing to do things differently. I am motivated by being happy, I am moved by self love and kindness and I know that I am good person who deserves to be proud of myself and kinder to myself. Some of the thigs that I have said and done to myself over the years have been utterly unacceptable and refuse to beat myself up any longer. So here, on the precipice of my 50th birthday , I am making a move to choose better for myself. I am taking steps to mend my own fences, set my own boundaries and love myself for who I am today.
And to help me to do that, I have made a list of things that I am going to start doing for myself. Not because I want to change, but because I deserve to unshackle myself from the deeply unkind and relentlessly mean ways that I have treated myself in the past. I deserve to choose better for myself. So from here on, I choose to:

• Surround myself with people who are good for my mental health.
• Increase the time I spend doing self care practises. 
• Talk respectfully about myself when I am speaking to other people.
• Listen to my body and give it what it needs before I worry about everyone else's needs.
• Stop feeling guilty when I do nice things for myself. 
• Accept the ebb and flow of my feelings without needing to project them onto others. 
• Set boundaries around how I let others speak and interact with me. 
• Ask for help when I need it.
• Love and respect my body shape and stop being insecure about the way that I look. 
• Accept that my past is a story of who I was and not who I am now. 
• Eat well and sleep well. 
• Forgive myself for all of the shitty things that I did while I was still under construction. 
• Stop over-reacting or being over-complacent. 
• Acknowledge my strengths and achievements. 

Okay, so it probably won't happen overnight, by I tell you, it will happen. I am heading into my power decade, I can feel it. No more messing about for me, I have wasted too many tears and way too many years not loving myself enough or respecting myself enough and quite frankly, I'm totally sick and tired of it!
It's time to choose better for me, I deserve it!

AFTERSUN
Release Date: 2022
Rating: M
Running Time: 102 mins
An autobiographical drama, written and directed by Charlotte Wells in her feature directorial debut. Aftersun premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2022 where it was nominated for the Golden Camera, and after receiving a BAFTA and Academy Award nomination, it was named one of the best films of 2022 by the National Board of Review. 
Calum is a young father about to turn 31, he is travelling with his 11 year old daughter, Sophie. They are vacationing together in Turkey, staying at a low budget resort and discovering things about each other and themselves along the way. 
Although Aftersun presents as a coming of age film, it is really about the gaps in generations and the times in our lives when we just 'don't seem to fit.' Sophie is a tween, struggling between being both too old and too young for so many things in life, and Calum, as a young single father, is as equally marooned as she is in social settings. Calum struggles with his depression that bubbles up from time to time, and he valiantly attempts to styme those feelings with his multitude of self help techniques and escapisms. Sophie, although young, is often in a role of support or tolerance and the whole film plays out with a melancholic reverence that is every bit as prickly as the feeling of after-sun upon the skin itself. 
I loved the glimpses of Sophie in the future, turning 31 herself and reflecting on her time with her young father, and I found the entire film profoundly affecting and deeply moving. Paul Mescal is incredibly good as Calum and Celia Rowlson-Hall beautifully delivers all of the nuance and sensitivity of Sophie with a wisdom that is well beyond her years.  Aftersun is definitely a film not to be missed. 
FINAL SAY:  I think  it's nice that we share the same sky. 
4.5 Chilli Peppers ​